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Christians divorcing and not remarrying?


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Old 13th March 2017, 10:41 AM   #1
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Arrow Christians divorcing and not remarrying?

I've heard a buzz about this as I think people have different interpretations of the Bible. Me and someone got to talking and this person has been divorced/ single for many years. Goes out with women, flirts, etc.

But, believes that he cannot remarry until his ex-wife passes away.

I've heard of it, but this is the first time I've met someone that actually practices it. Some Christians even thinks he's an odd bird for doing so probably because there's so many Christians that do remarry and don't believe in what he believes.

When I Google this, responses vary a lot.

Do you know anyone, personally, that actually has practiced this fully?

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Old 13th March 2017, 11:40 AM   #2
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I can't speak to all of Christianity but for a long time the Catholic Church took the position that you could not remarry. Fairly recently they softened their stance on granting annulments (that is their version of a religious divorce). For the truly devout, an annulment must be granted before remarriage can occur.


I dated a divorcing guy once. It was important to me that he get his first marriage annulled. I talked to a mutual friend priest about it who got me all of the paperwork required. My BF knew I was doing this; I didn't go behind his back. He BF was allegedly fine with me doing this.


We then broke up after I learned he had lied to me about the status of his divorce. He had told me it had been granted by the Courts. I kept saying great, when will you apply for the annulment? I even completed most of the paperwork for him. He had to add the Court documents & mail it in. He just kept putting me off. Finally I called the Court to get a copy of the Order for divorce myself because it's a public record. That is when I found out he was not divorced yet & had been lying to me for months. If he had just told the case got adjourned I would have been fine. I couldn't & wouldn't deal with the fact he lied about it.
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Old 13th March 2017, 11:45 AM   #3
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My dad got an annulment from the Vatican due to abandonment (his first wife took his kids and left and divorced him while he was fighting the Italians and Germans in Italy) and it was approved and he remarried a number of years later.

I can see strong traction for not remarrying but it'd have nothing to do with my spiritual beliefs.
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Old 13th March 2017, 4:26 PM   #4
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Well, wasn't talking Catholicism, because most people I meet are non-denom Christians.
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Old 13th March 2017, 5:00 PM   #5
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The bible is rather clear that re-marriage after divorce is adultry in most circumstances.
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Old 15th March 2017, 12:09 PM   #6
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My wife believes(ed?) she was a major follower of Christ. After separating (not yet even divorced officially) from her husband, she casually slept with a number of men, including two that where married. She claimed that nothing she did was a sin. The MM really bothered me morally and spiritually.

Now her ex spouse - and mine as well - both cheated so technically this is grounds for divorce under what I was taught in church.

Christians are no better at behaviors or actions - then non Christians. Nor following His teachings.

Also many disagree with each other on what the "Christian rules" are - of even if its about the rules at all.
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Old 15th March 2017, 5:12 PM   #7
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I worked with lady who married a guy that was divorced. Both were Presbyterians, and, when his first wife asked for a divorce, he wouldn't sign the papers because he felt there was no valid religious reason for a divorce. So they were separated for quite awhile until she cheated on him, and he found that to be a valid reason for divorce. I don't know how the Presbyterian Church officially views divorce or if these were just his personal beliefs. But he apparently felt that remarriage was okay.
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Old 15th March 2017, 10:26 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LookAtThisPOst View Post
I've heard a buzz about this as I think people have different interpretations of the Bible. Me and someone got to talking and this person has been divorced/ single for many years. Goes out with women, flirts, etc.

But, believes that he cannot remarry until his ex-wife passes away.

I've heard of it, but this is the first time I've met someone that actually practices it. Some Christians even thinks he's an odd bird for doing so probably because there's so many Christians that do remarry and don't believe in what he believes.

When I Google this, responses vary a lot.

Do you know anyone, personally, that actually has practiced this fully?
Many Filipinos whose break up and first born to single motherhood rates are near the American ones but their government does not allow divorce, unless you married a Muslim male.
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Old 16th March 2017, 2:06 AM   #9
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I can't speak for the Catholic Church but the Anglican Church (Episcopalian) in UK has general guidelines. Usually the local priest/vicar/rector has the final say so it depends how "liberal" they are in their viewpoint.

The usual rule of thumb is that if your partner has committed adultery and you divorce them for that reason then the first marriage is deemed ended and you can be remarried in church.

If your partner has deserted you, then the clergyman will use their discretion after discussing the matter with you.

If you cheat on your partner with X and then get divorced then they won't marry you and X because they would mean that the church was condoning your adultery.

If you cheat on your partner with X get divorced and then later on want to marry Y then the clergyman would have a talk with you to ascertain whether or not you understood what you were "signing up for".

Of course if your ex dies after you get divorced then none of this applies and you are free to marry.

So it would depend how/why this guy's marriage ended, I suppose
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Old 17th March 2017, 1:30 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Simple Logic View Post
The bible is rather clear that re-marriage after divorce is adultry in most circumstances.
Which is pretty odd, because in the bible, you can also have multiple wives. Deuteronomy 21:15-17

How does that reconcile?

The only thing I can think of is that we're not supposed to become enemies, or separate ourselves from one another. The sin is not the sex, the sin is the separation from your wife.

Anyway, I think it's odd.
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Old 17th March 2017, 3:31 AM   #11
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cpa,
You're looking at the OT when men had mutiple wives and also kept slaves.

The NT superseded that and St Paul's instructions on marriage were very clear.

See Matthew ch5 v 23 & Ch19 v 9
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Old 18th March 2017, 12:49 AM   #12
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Mark 10:11

He (Jesus) answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her."
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Old 18th March 2017, 12:52 AM   #13
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I worked with lady who married a guy that was divorced. Both were Presbyterians, and, when his first wife asked for a divorce, he wouldn't sign the papers because he felt there was no valid religious reason for a divorce. So they were separated for quite awhile until she cheated on him, and he found that to be a valid reason for divorce. I don't know how the Presbyterian Church officially views divorce or if these were just his personal beliefs. But he apparently felt that remarriage was okay.
His divorce and remarriage was ok because of her adultery. technically But, he was not innocent in casting away his wife for which he will have to answer to
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Old 18th March 2017, 3:04 AM   #14
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The Bible specifies two acceptable reasons for divorce: abandonment of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15) and adultery (Matthew 5:32).
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Old 18th March 2017, 4:45 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by LookAtThisPOst View Post
I've heard a buzz about this as I think people have different interpretations of the Bible. Me and someone got to talking and this person has been divorced/ single for many years. Goes out with women, flirts, etc.

But, believes that he cannot remarry until his ex-wife passes away.
There are tons of guys who just want to date or be unmarried, serial monogamists. He's no different in my eyes. He just has a different approach to it.
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