OpenBook Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Jesus was a big proponent of forgiveness. He also said to "turn the other cheek" when someone strikes you. (To me this sounds like "Thank you sir, may I have another?" - but I know that can't be what He meant. Right?) My conundrum, and the reason for starting this thread is "Turn the other cheek" vs. "We teach other people how to treat us." Are these concepts incompatible with each other? More specifically, if someone wrongs me, and I subsequently take steps to prevent them from being able to hurt me again in that way - does that block my ability to forgive them? Wikipedia has an interesting definition of what forgiveness isn't: "Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), pardoning (granted by a representative of society, such as a judge), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship)." And I looked through some old LS threads on forgiveness and came across this post from Hardgrind where he says, "Forgiving the person who betrayed you does not mean you accept what they did, that you will forget what they did, that you condone what they did or that you will continue to let them hurt you." What say you? If I take steps to protect myself from future transgressions, does that mean I haven't forgiven the perp? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I do not think protecting yourself from further hurt is a sign of unforgiveness. Reading the passage about turning the other cheek in context, I read it as an admonishment not to retaliate. I don't think forgiving means we literally forget either. Our brains don't work that way. I do not understand all of how forgiveness works, but I do know that God's Word says more than once that we will be forgiven by Him in the same manner that we forgive others, and the parable of the unmerciful servant makes it pretty clear that no matter what I might be called on to forgive someone for on earth, it will always pale in comparison to what He has forgiven me for....so in my mind, forgiveness isn't optional if I want to obey. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 There is a huge difference in forgiving and forgetting. You can forgive a multitude of things but it doesn't mean you will forget them. It also doesn't mean making yourself available to be hurt again. I have forgiven people for hurting me...I wont forget what they did.....and I will also protect myself from being hurt by them again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Jesus was a big proponent of forgiveness. He also said to "turn the other cheek" when someone strikes you. (To me this sounds like "Thank you sir, may I have another?" - but I know that can't be what He meant. Right?) My conundrum, and the reason for starting this thread is "Turn the other cheek" vs. "We teach other people how to treat us." Are these concepts incompatible with each other? More specifically, if someone wrongs me, and I subsequently take steps to prevent them from being able to hurt me again in that way - does that block my ability to forgive them? Wikipedia has an interesting definition of what forgiveness isn't: "Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), pardoning (granted by a representative of society, such as a judge), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship)." And I looked through some old LS threads on forgiveness and came across this post from Hardgrind where he says, "Forgiving the person who betrayed you does not mean you accept what they did, that you will forget what they did, that you condone what they did or that you will continue to let them hurt you." What say you? If I take steps to protect myself from future transgressions, does that mean I haven't forgiven the perp? It's interesting you bringing up the other cheek thing. IMO that one gets taken way out of context.. I need to do some in-depth studying on that, but based on experience, I'd say there is a season for everything under the sun. There have been times I've been silent and others have confronted the aggressor. By no means, God gave us a brain and we're supposed to use it... we need to run from evil. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OpenBook Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Thanks. I'm looking at my desire for revenge... don't want it to be a motivation for the steps I'm taking to protect myself. Trying to take it out of the equation entirely. But what to do with the anger? Don't want to bury it (that turns into depression). I want to channel it somehow, turn it around into something good. Working on it! And holding on tight to His hand. I can't do this by myself. I know I'd turn it into a complete train wreck. And praying for grace. Literally. How to handle it in the most graceful way possible. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Jesus was a big proponent of forgiveness. He also said to "turn the other cheek" when someone strikes you. (To me this sounds like "Thank you sir, may I have another?" - but I know that can't be what He meant. Right?) My conundrum, and the reason for starting this thread is "Turn the other cheek" vs. "We teach other people how to treat us." Are these concepts incompatible with each other? More specifically, if someone wrongs me, and I subsequently take steps to prevent them from being able to hurt me again in that way - does that block my ability to forgive them? Wikipedia has an interesting definition of what forgiveness isn't: "Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), pardoning (granted by a representative of society, such as a judge), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship)." And I looked through some old LS threads on forgiveness and came across this post from Hardgrind where he says, "Forgiving the person who betrayed you does not mean you accept what they did, that you will forget what they did, that you condone what they did or that you will continue to let them hurt you." What say you? If I take steps to protect myself from future transgressions, does that mean I haven't forgiven the perp? Interesting thread OB! I do not believe Christ was telling us to allow ourselves to be manipulated. The context of the Sermon on the Mount was largely a demonstration by Christ that we should obey the spirit of the Law and not only the letter of the law. Turning the other cheek relates to our sinful need for personal retaliation. When we forgive someone and give it to God, we are trusting God with our (possibly valid) desire for retaliation. When Christ was struck during his trial, he asked what for what cause he was smote. “I have spoken openly to the world,” Jesus replied. “I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.” When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby slapped him in the face. “Is this the way you answer the high priest?” he demanded. “If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?” Forgiveness is largely for our own benefit to allow us to heal and move forward in life. However, we can forgive someone and not allow them to continue harming us (physically or emotionally). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 (edited) I bought a book by Robert Jeffress called "When forgiveness doesnt make sense" I found some difficult ideas about forgiveness from his view. One major one is that granting forgiveness is required (under his beliefs) regardless of weather someone asks for it, or even fails to acknowledge they did any thing wrong. Its is granted from Grace not earned. Here are two links. Jeffress: Not forgiving creates 'living hell' When Forgiveness Doesn't Make Sense: Robert Jeffress: 9781578564644: Amazon.com: Books Edited March 6, 2015 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
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