zevahc Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I'm not asking those who don't believe in God or a God to make this a religious argument..., but I'm directing this to those who believe in God. If you do..do you believe God truly wants us to be happy or is it more abitrary? I know what scripture says... I ask because I'm doing everything I know to do...to heal, move forward, and I'm battling this and have battling it over 3 years...NC, isolation, doing the right thing..taking the right steps...and I always feel like the battle is uphill. I wonder to myself..will it turn. I direct my prayers specifically to God and plead for relief. Plead for change...and yes, things have changed. Things are so different than when I was in it a year ago. But I'm still tortured in so many ways. I ask God to show me the next steps. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. Will it always be so hard? If you know the story of Paul..he suffered, yet had joy. I even wonder if I can find some joy in my life...in the middle of suffering...and question whether this is my true lot in life...or if God does in fact one day have some great person out there for me. Maybe not... Link to post Share on other sites
cozycottagelg Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I believe God wants us to be happy. But more so, to feel peaceful. I think breaking out of an affair, while torturous to the heart, can also bring peace. There is joy out there for you. He has a plan. <3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I believe God wants you to use your brain and body to direct your own life and follow your path and be as happy as you can be. I don't think God ever meant for people to sit in front of the tv or computer waiting for God himself to bust a move and improve someone's life when that person has the skills to do that himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I do. I am deeply spiritual and believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that ultimately, God wants us to be happy BUT happiness doesn't necessarily mean that you get everything you want when you want it. There is a divine plan for all of us and I firmly believe that we are supposed to earn our happiness rather than act like entitled children. Walking the path of righteousness, especially these days, is a difficult path. I also believe that not only do you need to do the work to get you to where you need to be but you need to truly believe in the process. Anything less than that and you will always be vulnerable to slipping back into old patterns. I think surrendering is key too. As human beings we want so badly to be in control of everything. Letting go and trusting that you are exactly where you are supposed to be is quite empowering. And if life continues to challenge you it's because you haven't yet learned the lesson needed to be learned. The lesson(s) will continue to haunt you until you acknowledge them and learn from them. You need to ask yourself, "What is the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all of this?" And only you can answer that question. In my experience, being part of a prayer circle of group of people who share a similar journey helps very much. Knowing that people are there to pray with you and for you is both humbling and transformative. Good luck to you my friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I do. I am deeply spiritual and believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that ultimately, God wants us to be happy BUT happiness doesn't necessarily mean that you get everything you want when you want it. There is a divine plan for all of us and I firmly believe that we are supposed to earn our happiness rather than act like entitled children. Walking the path of righteousness, especially these days, is a difficult path. I also believe that not only do you need to do the work to get you to where you need to be but you need to truly believe in the process. Anything less than that and you will always be vulnerable to slipping back into old patterns. I think surrendering is key too. As human beings we want so badly to be in control of everything. Letting go and trusting that you are exactly where you are supposed to be is quite empowering. And if life continues to challenge you it's because you haven't yet learned the lesson needed to be learned. The lesson(s) will continue to haunt you until you acknowledge them and learn from them. You need to ask yourself, "What is the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all of this?" And only you can answer that question. In my experience, being part of a prayer circle of group of people who share a similar journey helps very much. Knowing that people are there to pray with you and for you is both humbling and transformative. Good luck to you my friend. If everything happens for a reason than why do bad things always happen to good people for? You see innocent people getting killed everyday for no reason, is that supposed to be their own fault? Is there a reason why so many innocent good people die, and tons of evil people keep on living? Link to post Share on other sites
Author zevahc Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 I have been doing the work..believe me. I've done everything I know to do. There are some variables I cannot immeditely change (work)..but it's not that I haven't even attempted to make changes there either. It's just not happened or happening right now due to things out of my control. In other areas I've done all I can. My question is not about whether we have to do any work and just expect God to miraculously change everything for us.. It has more to do with do I think God wants us happy...or perhaps maybe the path he has me on...even though difficult..has his reasons..for his Glory. And if so...then I want to be ok with it. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 God's main concern is to conform those who are willing into the image of his son Jesus. No amount of happiness is good if you aren't also becoming more like Jesus every day. On the flipside, if you are seeking Jesus, then happiness thrown in is an extra bonus. But don't seek it as a main priority, or you will be led astray. I've always thought those who seek happiness the most are usually the least happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GettingOver Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 And if life continues to challenge you it's because you haven't yet learned the lesson needed to be learned. The lesson(s) will continue to haunt you until you acknowledge them and learn from them. You need to ask yourself, "What is the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all of this?" And only you can answer that question. What if I can't answer this question? I rather believe that there is a destiny given to us by God. I really have no idea if he wants us to be happy or not, I guess he only wants us to walk a certain way... Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I direct my prayers specifically to God and plead for relief. Plead for change...and yes, things have changed. Things are so different than when I was in it a year ago. But I'm still tortured in so many ways. I ask God to show me the next steps. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. Will it always be so hard? If you know the story of Paul..he suffered, yet had joy. I even wonder if I can find some joy in my life...in the middle of suffering...and question whether this is my true lot in life...or if God does in fact one day have some great person out there for me. Maybe not... God's timing is so different from our timing! Unfortunately, life usually involves a lot more waiting than we would normally like. You're not alone in feeling frustrated that life hasn't turned into the life you imagined. You may have imagined having a marriage with a house and a dog (or something similar). But, you might be comparing yourself to others who have a steady relationship, a house and a dog. But these comparisons to others, wanting something others have, is a form of coveting. Keep your eyes on Jesus. The answers you're looking for will come. But remember they'll come on God's schedule, not your own. I recommend trying to make a daily list of things your grateful for. If you can start to take the focus off of what you don't have, and onto all the wonderful things you DO have in your life, I think you'll find a lot more peace about your situation. Sorry about your pain, OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zevahc Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 God's timing is so different from our timing! Unfortunately, life usually involves a lot more waiting than we would normally like. You're not alone in feeling frustrated that life hasn't turned into the life you imagined. You may have imagined having a marriage with a house and a dog (or something similar). But, you might be comparing yourself to others who have a steady relationship, a house and a dog. But these comparisons to others, wanting something others have, is a form of coveting. Keep your eyes on Jesus. The answers you're looking for will come. But remember they'll come on God's schedule, not your own. I recommend trying to make a daily list of things your grateful for. If you can start to take the focus off of what you don't have, and onto all the wonderful things you DO have in your life, I think you'll find a lot more peace about your situation. Sorry about your pain, OP. Thank you pie..:I've been doing exactly that. Praising God for his provision, my health, daughter, job etc...and even praying for those involved who i felt hurt from...trying to pray for others and focus on others. I'm truly blessed. I know that. Your post reminded me of that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pie2 Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Thank you pie..:I've been doing exactly that. Praising God for his provision, my health, daughter, job etc...and even praying for those involved who i felt hurt from...trying to pray for others and focus on others. I'm truly blessed. I know that. Your post reminded me of that. It's easier said than done, at least for me. We all have moments of getting down (some of us more than others ). But I've noticed that, as time goes on and I put it into practice, it gets easier to turn my mind away from the destructively dark thoughts and be reminded of the good. Thanks for starting this thread, OP. I think it reminds us all that God is looking out for us and we can be filled with joy, even when it seems like everything else is out of control. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 If you do..do you believe God truly wants us to be happy or is it more abitrary? ... I believe that the God and Goddess want us to be whole. I think that this comes from finding a certain amount of inner peace, and that this brings happiness. Maybe not happiness with everything that is happening in our lives, but at least a certain love for ourselves and a finding of our own strength. I think weak moments aren't a bad thing. Nobody is born strong. We all start somewhere and build ourselves up. I believe that when we find out who we truly are and learn express our true selves, we will stumble across good things. Good energy is attracted to other good energy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 I'm battling this and have battling it over 3 years...NC, isolation, doing the right thing..taking the right steps...and I always feel like the battle is uphill. A wounded heart can take time to heal. Do you have a support network to lean upon? I don't want to pry, but a lot of folks on these forums are good at giving advice related to break ups and the like. In my life, I have noticed when I am weak, He is strong. Hang in there friend. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 whether your happiness is true happiness or what you perceive will make you happy might not be the same thing as far as affair goes for example....happiness you perceive as happiness for you and your intended may not be gods plan...... because happiness is actually fleeting if held in the hands of another...........achieving a fulness of joy however is eternal.....and that isn't found in simple happiness......which can be bound by pheromones and butterflies..... have you ever really struggled i mean struggled to survive and then a miracle happens that shows you the way through... a heartfelt prayer is answered when you least expect it and this ray of light creeps into every crevice of your soul and bursts out of you as in pure joy to have made it through the dark......i think at the end of every ones life there is that light.......that light of pure joy to be had......but its not up to god to give happiness or sadness we can do that on our own..if we live by gods commandments........we will have a fulness of joy.......rather than a perceived happiness that may or may not be actually really ....what makes us truly happy....deb Link to post Share on other sites
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