"I have to pray about it first"

[irc333]

Recently met a Christian lady through friends. She's a member of the Meetup site...a rather new addition to the site and she's a member of a Christian Singles group.

 

I've been to some of their events, and I wasn't too impressed...most were either not too friendly, cliquey, or socially awkward. I've received word from other members of Meetup that had said they've tried their events...which are few and far between anyhow...and they weren't too impressed either.

 

So they typically are found at the more secular level social Meetups and events. They do a mix of events and have fun doing it.

 

The organizer is great, very warm, welcoming, and makes new members feel welcome.

 

This woman I met lives rather local, the Meetup is close to her and I let her know we were having an event tomorrow welcoming new members. She asked, "Is it a Christian group?" and I told her, "Well, no not exactly, but we do have Christians IN the group"

 

She said, at first, "I'm sorry, but I only attend Christian events...but I'll pray about it" (I've never understood the whole "praying about every action I take" method though). But I was able to talk her into it saying that Christians are in our group...and also ask if there are some that actually ATTEND churches....I said, in fact, some of the members who go to church in the community have actually invited their own congregation members to our social club. lol

 

Thus, I was able to talk her into it.

 

But...guessing there are different flavors of Christians out there...some so extreme they seem to cut their nose off to spite their face when it comes to participating at certain events. There are the "locust" fearing types, and then there are the rational thinkers that are the laid back believers that do their own thing.

 

But I was wondering, why was she so concerned about a laid back social club being "non-Christian" centered. I mean, these groups have Christians IN them

 

What's ironic is, there is a Christian Meetup in our area...but non too impressive from what I heard from others.

[Allumere]

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

 

This

[irc333]

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

 

This

 

No one ever said this group was filled with unbelievers.

[Allumere]

...and I am not saying it either...but that is where she is coming from if she is hard core conservative Christian....this from the conversation you posted.

[irc333]

...and I am not saying it either...but that is where she is coming from if she is hard core conservative Christian....this from the conversation you posted.

 

Oh okay. I guess there are those Christians that won't go to a movie unless there's a G rating to it or doesn't have anything to do with Halloween because there are satanic overtones to it? Yeah, one of those types.

 

Though there are Christians that don't think those are sins.

 

Kind of stinks because if they are single and looking, they might want to consider dating a monk or a priest.

[GemmaUK]

It's simple.

Her values are important to her.

 

She has every right to her own opinion.

 

Sometimes it feels as though you see women as if they are having all of the wrong opinions (in your opinion) and that if they would just forget their own opinions, wants and needs and would just date you life would be a lot better.

 

She isn't cutting off her nose to spite her face because it's really important to her.

[Priv]

As a non-Christian I gather, why do you attend Christian Singles group or be interested in a Christian that takes her belief very seriously?

 

 

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

 

 

I believe Allumere's quote actually worked for this woman by having reservations about going (with you) to this other thing. You seriously disrespect someone's belief system and I honestly think if the two of you got together it would be detrimental to her and her values.

[irc333]

I am a Christian actually, Catholic Christian. But I have noticed different flavors of Christians that do have extreme points of view that even threw me for a loop. I once went out with a woman that did not even believe in kissing before marriage.

 

What I found odd about that was the fact there was nothing sinful about kissing. But apparently "Kissing can lead to lustful desires".

 

I shared this experience with a woman with other Christians and even thought that frame of mind was quite odd.

 

I had noticed this among those who are newly Christian, had been through more than one marriage or had some serious past issues...it's like they go from one extreme to the next.

 

Like they can't be around people that say curse words, I'm a moderation kind of guy, I curse on occasion, but if I get a major *Gaaaasp* from an extremist type if I say "Sh*t" sometimes, well....this relationship would probably not work.

 

I was able to talk her into attending the group because I made her aware that here are active Christians in our social club. That was the only way I was able to get her to attend. The reason these Christians do attend our "mix" of believers is because most people in their church are married or not in their age bracket or simply and ironically, don't have much in common with their congregation or their own congregation isn't all that social.

 

As a non-Christian I gather, why do you attend Christian Singles group or be interested in a Christian that takes her belief very seriously?

 

 

 

 

 

I believe Allumere's quote actually worked for this woman by having reservations about going (with you) to this other thing. You seriously disrespect someone's belief system and I honestly think if the two of you got together it would be detrimental to her and her values.

[Smilecharmer]

She has her beliefs. Respect them. Ask someone else out.

[Mirages]

There are some insecurities in certain fringe christian groups. As a logical christian, I have a library on the topic, which I have read. I therefore have no need to show off, or prove my faith. I also happily smile and accept "I don't know, I am not sure that is really shown to us completely at this point..." My concern is that some of these types of christians are a bit of a nuisance in all aspects of the relationship, and not any closer to God than the normal ones.

 

Collosians 2:20: "Do not submit to man made rules"

20 Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 21 "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? 22 These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. 23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

 

Acts 16:16 "woman claiming Jesus loudly, was demon possessed."

 

John 4:4-25: (Jesus goes thru hated Samaria, and treats a woman with respect. He does not ask her "Hmm, are you my particular kind of religion, hmm, or I won't attend your Meetup!")

 

 

I put all this together to give you a basis for decision. You may use some of it to argue the point, but it seems like you want a decent relationship. My advice, be genuine in finding God, be genuine with others about your real identity, and scare off the christo-zombies with some of this.

 

Good luck, you will need it.

[vanhalenfan]

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

 

This

 

True, but Jesus himself was a friend of sinners. He frequently surrounded himself with non-believers in hopes of leading them to salvation. We as Christians are encouraged to do the same. If you ONLY hang around Christians most or all of the time, how can one accomplish this?

[Allumere]

True, but Jesus himself was a friend of sinners. He frequently surrounded himself with non-believers in hopes of leading them to salvation. We as Christians are encouraged to do the same. If you ONLY hang around Christians most or all of the time, how can one accomplish this?

 

Make me think at 1:00am...shame on you.

 

First off it is that very quote that is a very large knife in my heart so I am not a fan but I do know all too well that many who interpret the Bible literally lean heavily on that one. Most are familiar with it in application to dating/marriage relationships between believers and non-believers but that IMHO is a broad net and is not mentioned in the rest of Paul's letter from what I remember (will look up again later).

 

You are correct, Jesus did hang out with the non-believers and we are called to do the same. However, can you think of any references in which he was a close friend of a non-believer? The whole issue is that if we engage in any kind of intimate or close friendship with a non-believer our beliefs will be tempted/weakened. This is emphasized throughout the Bible. The idea of being friends with a non-believer is to ulitimately move them toward Christ. The other suggestion is that anytime you are amongst non-believers you should never go alone, always have a couple Christian friends along.

[irc333]

There are some insecurities in certain fringe christian groups.

 

Never heard the term "Fringe" Christian. Had to Google it and after reading about it, I was able to understand what you meant. Some even say it's comparable to a cultish mentality.

 

Never heard the term "Fringe" used in the context of Christianity until your post.

 

I am thinking she's more of a new Christian that's taking it a bit extreme, but this is not uncommon. Eventually and hopefully these types tend to balance out over time and have the ability to be more reasonable.

[Mirages]

Well regardless of the terminology we may use, watch out. This matter does not heal with maturity. There are a few pentecostal types (certainly not the majority) who act this way, usually affiliated with the UPC. There are a few Baptists, usually using the adjectives "Independent, separatist, 1611 KJO, etc." to describe their church who behave this way.

 

The thing is that I can tell you think for yourself, regardless of what I speculate about your faith, this sort of person will not be your delight. These groups live in fear, and their doctrines are nonsense. Very often the women wear dresses all of the time. I can explain that one, but why waste the ink, it's relevance to God's will is not there. It also leads to pack wolf mentality when you split, you end up with many slightly personality disordered "members" supporting each other against you.

 

Borderline Personality Disorder: Unstable self image / "Us vs them." / black and white right-wrong judgments / super emotional responses / obsessed with a form of love that is only found in Disney / will lie or frame up in order to maintain reputation / fear of abandonment. By this point you might perceive that I am scarred from one of these, it's ok, live and learn, just done jump into an abyss without a light and a rope.

[irc333]

Yes. Welcome to stepford. (Stepford wife inference.)

 

 

Well regardless of the terminology we may use, watch out. This matter does not heal with maturity. There are a few pentecostal types (certainly not the majority) who act this way, usually affiliated with the UPC. There are a few Baptists, usually using the adjectives "Independent, separatist, 1611 KJO, etc." to describe their church who behave this way.

 

The thing is that I can tell you think for yourself, regardless of what I speculate about your faith, this sort of person will not be your delight. These groups live in fear, and their doctrines are nonsense. Very often the women wear dresses all of the time. I can explain that one, but why waste the ink, it's relevance to God's will is not there. It also leads to pack wolf mentality when you split, you end up with many slightly personality disordered "members" supporting each other against you.

 

Borderline Personality Disorder: Unstable self image / "Us vs them." / black and white right-wrong judgments / super emotional responses / obsessed with a form of love that is only found in Disney / will lie or frame up in order to maintain reputation / fear of abandonment. By this point you might perceive that I am scarred from one of these, it's ok, live and learn, just done jump into an abyss without a light and a rope.

[irc333]

I just saw her dating profile on POF, she said something about studying "Organic" Bible study? That's a new one on me.

[Mirages]

Organic, hmm. I haven't a clue. Apart from googling the concept.

 

I am surprised such would be on POF instead of Christan Mingle. Not to sound trite, really, POF is not a market leader for these types.

[TigerLilly78]

Why are you putting so much effort into finding out about this women? it sounds like she barely wants to hang out with you...im the last person to defend extream religious beliefs but yea its her prerogative I doubt she will "change" over time..