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TaraMaiden

....

I often read about Buddhism and I completely agree with everything it teaches; but I still often forget to apply it to my life.

This is the whole point of Practice.

Precisely because there is no "outside force", no deity to give us support or guidance, the work is pretty much left to us.

And we are left to jusge, evaluate and assess what we do, and how we do it.

So we come up to scartch? Do we (as we say in the UK) 'cut the Mustard'...?

 

It's a question of Right Effort (capital 'E', because it's an intrinsic and important part of the Eightfold Path).

When we dedicate ourselves to Buddhism and seek Refuge in the Triple Gem, we make a promise to ourselves to maintain the teachings, and adhere to that which we have chosen as our calling.

It's a commitment. One which involves a great deal of sacrifice.

And this sacrifice entails mainly letting go of a number of misconceptions we previously held as being absolutes; definite truths about everything we thought.

 

It may sound contradictive, but I let emotions take over so much that I forget about what I believe in the most.

I really hope I'm not sounding patronising, but please understand this:

 

Your Emotions are not who you are.

 

They are Mind-Wrought sentiments we believe are real, but in fact, are embellishments of imaginary scenarios we conjure up.

Emotions are transitory, and do not last.

If they were real, and solid aspects of our psyche or persona, we would always be in an emotional state. Angry, Happy, Sad, Fearful, Jealous, Resentful....

But we cannot remain in an emotional state for long. They're just too hard to sustain. They wear us out.

In fact, if we think we know somebody who "always seems" Angry, Happy, Sad, Fearful, Jealous or Resentful, they're really hard work! After a while, it becomes taxing and weakening to stay around them...!

 

When you feel yourself falling into a specific emotional state, the thing to do, is to breathe, deeply. At least three or four times. Inhale deeply, hold the breath for a few seconds, then let it out gently. Drop your shoulders as you do.

 

Then ask yourself, "what is it that is agitating me? Why?

Why am I allowing this to over-whelm me?"

 

You will see that your reaction and your response to the stimulus can gradually, over time, be mellowed, and controlled....

 

If we confront our emotions, we can remove their power. If we can view them as something we have invented in the first place, we can see how futile they are.

 

It doesn't matter what is going on around us. It is our responses and reactions to what is going on around us, that makes these emotions then arise.

Whatever is gong on around you will change, according to and in keeping with, the attitude you adopt in facing it.

 

 

The truth is I'm scared. I've created this life with a man, and I'm scared to leave it.

Scared?

Scared of.... what, exactly?

Your fear is Mind-generated.

It's generated by your imagination; your imagination is constructing a scenario which keeps you in that fear.

 

Why would you deliberately keep yourself in a state of fear?

 

We've made plans and we share a life. We decided to move to Hawaii in a few years to work on our Bachelor's together. We've talked about getting married and I adore his family.

I thought that once.

I divorced him 26 years later.

Imagine the life we had actually created between us....

 

I'm scared I will leave and never find anything better; or that there is nothing better......

 

Do you know what 'detachment' is?

 

Do you understand what it entails?

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I'd just like to say that you have reminded me of the exact thing i've been missing. Buddhism. I admit, when I moved I stopped practicing Buddhism. Not intentionally, I just became too wrapped up in everything that was going on.

 

Thank you for reminding me of exactly what i've been missing. :love:

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TaraMaiden

Hello Erica!! (((Hugs))) to you!! :bunny:

 

So glad you've joined in..... The more the merrier....!

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TaraMaiden, you have been a big influence on my life. Your wisdom is something that I truly respect and admire.

 

You have a gift. Forever speak, and if people choose to listen, they’ll find guidance.

 

Always a pleasure :)

 

-Thierro

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I'd just like to say that you have reminded me of the exact thing i've been missing. Buddhism. I admit, when I moved I stopped practicing Buddhism. Not intentionally, I just became too wrapped up in everything that was going on.

 

Thank you for reminding me of exactly what i've been missing. :love:

 

I'm convinced that a LOT of people can benefit from practicing Buddhism.

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TaraMaiden

Thierro, I say this with all humility.

 

You think this way, and I am deeply grateful.

But, really, there is no need..... you only hear because it resonates with what you already hold in your heart.

 

"When the 'Student' is ready, the 'Teacher' appears".

But arrogant and foolish is the teacher who assumes they can take nothing from the pupil.

 

And really, I would never presume to even call myself a teacher.

The satisfaction in the engagement of ideas, is mutual.

 

Right place, right time, for us both.

 

With much metta. TM x

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Hello Erica!! (((Hugs))) to you!! :bunny:

 

So glad you've joined in..... The more the merrier....!

 

(((Hugs))) :bunny::bunny: Thank you! :)

 

I'm convinced that a LOT of people can benefit from practicing Buddhism.

 

Oh absolutely, I completely agree. Even if it is just certain aspects of Buddhism, I think it would greatly help a lot of people.

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How do you perceive your own personal identity? If someone would ask me; ‘What are you?’ I would be inclined to say; ‘That what I choose to be.’ I’m in a state of mind where I don’t feel static or solid. If I would tell people that I am nice, it would be nothing more than a interpretation; not a fact. As a human being we often build our own identity with a handful of building blocks in various shapes and colors. We build an identity that consists purely out of interpretation, expectation, social conditioning and other subjective sentiments. We perceive it as a solid condition without a lot of room for change.

 

We are not our emotions, but we are also not our thoughts. We are looking hard for a respected identity that fits nicely into our society. But when I think about it, I come to the conclusion that a personal identity doesn’t exist although we really want one. Even though our body’s are tangible, our mind is not and will never be. Finding yourself doesn’t exist.

 

Imagine you are in a room. There are floating hundreds of characteristics through the air; Sweet, bitter, devoted, aggressive, judgmental. You try to desperately reach out and pick the characteristics YOU perceive as likeable and those that are approved by society. This way you try to identify/create your mind/personality and make it tangible and static, just like your body. People have the urge to control their body’s and mind and make them homogenous. But what we don’t (want to) realize – in my opinion- is that trying to control, identify and personalize ourselves with our mind is like drawing in water.

 

The only option we have is to ignore the words in that room filled with conditions that always float around our head every minute of every single day. Trying to hold on to and exchange different conditions non-stop. We need to let it all go. By doing so, your mind becomes less restricted, your ‘empty’ mind will expand and find serenity in its surrender. If we don’t, we’ll always try to find our identity; something that we will never find or is always one step ahead.

Edited by Thierro
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We need to let it all go.

 

The concept makes a ton of sense, but actually being able to train yourself to not only understand it but practice it as a way of life, is extremely difficult. You have to re-learn a completely different way of life. It takes a ton of self-reflection, meditation, and realizations. Most of which you can't force.

 

I'm hoping that if I stick with this, one day i'll be able to at least come remotely close to fully realizing this concept.

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It makes it easier when you realize how short and vulnerable life is and how small we are compared to the universe. In the end nothing really matters. Every memory fades in time. Feel good about yourself and always treat people with dignity.

 

Negative emotions don’t contribute to a fulfilling life. But you need to embrace them nevertheless, because behind every negative feeling there is an opportunity. Whenever a negative emotion shows itself inside my heart and head, I’ll ask myself; ‘Why do I feel/think this way?’ The answer will always redirect you to a part deep inside you that needs some tuning. Negative feelings are of tremendous value to do, be and feel better.

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In the end nothing really matters.

 

If nothing matters, why strive to do anything, to accomplish goals, to better ourselves?

 

Feel good about yourself and always treat people with dignity.

 

And how can "feel[ing] good about yourself" be obtained if there is no identity to be had; if a "good" feeling is as transient as everything else?

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....

This is the whole point of Practice.

Precisely because there is no "outside force", no deity to give us support or guidance, the work is pretty much left to us.

And we are left to jusge, evaluate and assess what we do, and how we do it.

So we come up to scartch? Do we (as we say in the UK) 'cut the Mustard'...?

 

It's a question of Right Effort (capital 'E', because it's an intrinsic and important part of the Eightfold Path).

When we dedicate ourselves to Buddhism and seek Refuge in the Triple Gem, we make a promise to ourselves to maintain the teachings, and adhere to that which we have chosen as our calling.

It's a commitment. One which involves a great deal of sacrifice.

And this sacrifice entails mainly letting go of a number of misconceptions we previously held as being absolutes; definite truths about everything we thought.

 

 

I really hope I'm not sounding patronising, but please understand this:

 

Your Emotions are not who you are.

 

They are Mind-Wrought sentiments we believe are real, but in fact, are embellishments of imaginary scenarios we conjure up.

Emotions are transitory, and do not last.

If they were real, and solid aspects of our psyche or persona, we would always be in an emotional state. Angry, Happy, Sad, Fearful, Jealous, Resentful....

But we cannot remain in an emotional state for long. They're just too hard to sustain. They wear us out.

In fact, if we think we know somebody who "always seems" Angry, Happy, Sad, Fearful, Jealous or Resentful, they're really hard work! After a while, it becomes taxing and weakening to stay around them...!

 

When you feel yourself falling into a specific emotional state, the thing to do, is to breathe, deeply. At least three or four times. Inhale deeply, hold the breath for a few seconds, then let it out gently. Drop your shoulders as you do.

 

Then ask yourself, "what is it that is agitating me? Why?

Why am I allowing this to over-whelm me?"

 

You will see that your reaction and your response to the stimulus can gradually, over time, be mellowed, and controlled....

 

If we confront our emotions, we can remove their power. If we can view them as something we have invented in the first place, we can see how futile they are.

 

It doesn't matter what is going on around us. It is our responses and reactions to what is going on around us, that makes these emotions then arise.

Whatever is gong on around you will change, according to and in keeping with, the attitude you adopt in facing it.

 

 

 

Scared?

Scared of.... what, exactly?

Your fear is Mind-generated.

It's generated by your imagination; your imagination is constructing a scenario which keeps you in that fear.

 

Why would you deliberately keep yourself in a state of fear?

 

 

I thought that once.

I divorced him 26 years later.

Imagine the life we had actually created between us....

 

 

 

Do you know what 'detachment' is?

 

Do you understand what it entails?

 

Emotions are not who we are?? but what is the purpose of them then.. Are we suppose to breath them away ? Or just the negative ones !

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Cerpin_Taxt
Your Emotions are not who you are.

 

They are Mind-Wrought sentiments we believe are real, but in fact, are embellishments of imaginary scenarios we conjure up.

Emotions are transitory, and do not last.

If they were real, and solid aspects of our psyche or persona, we would always be in an emotional state. Angry, Happy, Sad, Fearful, Jealous, Resentful....

But we cannot remain in an emotional state for long. They're just too hard to sustain. They wear us out.

In fact, if we think we know somebody who "always seems" Angry, Happy, Sad, Fearful, Jealous or Resentful, they're really hard work! After a while, it becomes taxing and weakening to stay around them...!

 

When you feel yourself falling into a specific emotional state, the thing to do, is to breathe, deeply. At least three or four times. Inhale deeply, hold the breath for a few seconds, then let it out gently. Drop your shoulders as you do.

 

Then ask yourself, "what is it that is agitating me? Why?

Why am I allowing this to over-whelm me?"

 

You will see that your reaction and your response to the stimulus can gradually, over time, be mellowed, and controlled....

 

If we confront our emotions, we can remove their power. If we can view them as something we have invented in the first place, we can see how futile they are.

 

It doesn't matter what is going on around us. It is our responses and reactions to what is going on around us, that makes these emotions then arise.

Whatever is gong on around you will change, according to and in keeping with, the attitude you adopt in facing it.

 

This was my first experience with Buddhism, in a way. I was reading a short little book called Zen and the Art of Happiness. The recurring idea was that we create our own reality, we decide how we react to something and how we are effected by that reaction. "We are the authors of every next moment," the book told me. We decide to loose our cool, get angry, be sad, be happy, find something funny, etc. We don't always make a conscious decision, some of it has been programmed and some if it is reflex. The way we handle it is how we are defined. We are able to change anything about our minds if we work hard enough at it. The book also encouraged me to try it out and see if I found truth in it, and if so to apply it to my life. If not, carry on. So I tried it out.

 

I used to get these little spats of anger if something frustrated me at work or if I hit my thumb with the hammer or something along those lines. Little blow-ups over nothing. I started by being aware of what I was doing. When I was blowing-up. I then noticed how useless the blow-up was, how it was a waste of time and made me look more than a little foolish.

 

The next time I hit my thumb with the hammer I stopped. Instead of cursing or throwing something I told myself, "This hurts, ow, and it will pass in a moment or two." And it did. Then i went back to work. Little things like that used to compound, one on top of another, until I was having a "bad day." Once I realized that the bad day was all in my head, like the anger and frustration, I stopped having them.

 

This was my first lesson on Impermanence and Buddhism. I found truth in it and have found much more since. I'm not the best at following the Precepts, I like beer and meat too much, but I have taken to calling this my faith. I try to be the best Jack Buddhist I can be. :D

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Cerpin_Taxt
Emotions are not who we are?? but what is the purpose of them then.. Are we suppose to breath them away ? Or just the negative ones !

 

We have emotions because we are thinking feeling human beings. You don't breathe away emotions, they are meant to be experienced, you just don't let them consume you and define you. You don't let your actions be driven by the emotions you are feeling at the moment.

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TaraMaiden

Firdt of all, thank you so much for coming with these points, people.

 

If nothing matters, why strive to do anything, to accomplish goals, to better ourselves?

Because we're not nihilists. We understand that travelling along with colleagues, friends, relatives and loved ones, means having ambition, a desire to improve and succeed, and an eagerness to contribute positively. The important thing is to not cling to these concepts as permanently important.

Like a gold medal champion, you're only as good as your last race. Accept this; you CAN be successful, competitive, and ambitious. Just don't let it be your only primary focus. Do what you can to be completely involved, but once achieved, enjoy it, savour it, but then let the moment go, and look forward to whatever next arrives. Whatever it may be....

 

And how can "feel[ing] good about yourself" be obtained if there is no identity to be had; if a "good" feeling is as transient as everything else?

This becomes complex.

In Buddhism we talk about a "dual reality". There IS a 'Self' - of course there is. Or else I wouldn't be typing this, and you wouldn't be reading it.

 

But there is also the concept of a 'Not-Self'.

 

Imagine with me, a moment:

Strip yourself down to every single separate component which goes up to make "you".... the different blood cells, muscle fibres, bones, veins.... lay them all side by side on a large flat surface... thousands - possibly millions - of different parts & particles..... Now look at therm all, laid out in a systematic order...

 

Tell me, looking at it all....Are you still 'you'?

 

And now, look at photographs of yourself, 5, 10, 15 years ago.

Are you still an exact duplicate of that person, or have there been (mental & physical) changes? Are your circumstances now, identical to what they were then?

of course not. So, the 'self' you were then, doesn't exist as the 'self' you are now. So, while 'you' obviously exist, see, her, breathe, taste, smell, feel.... 'you' are in fact, a transitory being in a transitory existence.

 

Every breath you take, is one breath less. Live now, and savour every single moment, and enjoy it.

If you develop a "good feeling" about simply existing, it will last a lot loner than you would hope. But yes, that too, is impermanent....

 

 

Emotions are not who we are?? but what is the purpose of them then.. Are we suppose to breath them away ? Or just the negative ones !

 

Emotions are transitory states which demonstrate our current state of Mind.

But you - like anybody else - can 'Change your Mind'.

 

Sometimes, a fully-accomplished Buddhist is likened to a Lighthouse.

No matter what kind of weather is surrounding it, it stands there quite unmoved by everything happening around it. Come rain, come shine, come wind, come storm, come calm, come day, come night.... it is unaffected by outside phenomena, but it shines like a beacon and is a comfort to others who need its light.

 

But one day, it too will crumble, and be dismantled....

 

Emotions are useful indicators, but we learn to use them, rather than let them overcome us, and overwhelm us.

Do not be a slave to something which can warp your vision, disrupt your thinking and be an adverse force to your state.

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If nothing matters, why strive to do anything, to accomplish goals, to better ourselves?

 

And how can "feel[ing] good about yourself" be obtained if there is no identity to be had; if a "good" feeling is as transient as everything else?

 

It does matter how you live your life, but in the end, when you die, everything you are/were will disappear. Sure, your children, friends and family will remember you, but eventually they’ll die too. A few generations later and the last tangible memories of you will get lost. Your footprints in this life are incredibly small; a flower that wilt in a field of millions. No-one ever notices, only those in your near surroundings.

 

In that regard it is a waste of time to have doubts, feel insecure, worry all the time etc. etc. without using those ‘negative’ feelings as a positive possibility. Too much people worry all their life. Once you are old and wrinkled you will regret all of this.

 

What I tried to explain with the whole identity part, is that our mind is ever changing. We can’t get a hold of it and creating a self out of it is useless because of that same reason. The reason we want an identity (or strive for things) is to feel important, to validate ourselves in society, to be a part of something that makes a difference. But you could also use your consciousness to live your life peacefully; This as a reference to the ‘empty’ room. The desperate urge to have an identity stems from negative and/or naïve emotions.

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TaraMaiden

Thank you.

I'm glad they make sense, and I'm glad you agree with them.

 

but please don't take our word as the final one.

The important is to 'test the theory' for yourself.

 

Words are easy to impart, actions take a more dedicated approach.

 

Consider what we have said, and see if you can catch a glimpse during your normal day, where these matters apply.

Test it out for yourself.

See whether you find it easy, or difficult, to shift into a new frame of mind.

Sometimes, it is one, and sometimes it is the other.

Pardoxically, many times, it's both.....

 

It's kind of you to be so complimentary, but trust me, I for one, do not have this all down pat 100%, and working 100% of the time.

 

It's bloody hard work actually, because we constantly meet a force on our journey that risks de-railing all efforts.

 

Unfortunately, this force is from ourselves, which makes it all the more difficult to engage with.

 

This force is our own Resistance to following through.

It's our own unwillingness to accept the inevitable.

 

This force, is the clinging and grasping at things we have become so accustomed to, so attached to, that seeing them as they really are, and letting them go - is painful.

 

The mental adjustment, to accommodate this new truth, is quite an exertion, because it goes against everything we have been taught and conditioned to hitherto accept as true.

 

I tell you - it's a bummer! :D

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SincereOnlineGuy
I'd just like to say that you have reminded me of the exact thing i've been missing. Buddhism. I admit, when I moved I stopped practicing Buddhism. Not intentionally, I just became too wrapped up in everything that was going on.

 

Thank you for reminding me of exactly what i've been missing. :love:

 

(scratches head) (considers many past thoughts about Erica... and just cannot find the means to superimpose a Buddha-like form over Erica's image)

 

:cool:

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TaraMaiden

I'm sure you could photoshop it..... ;)

 

The Widely known Tibetan Buddhist Mantra,

 

Ohm Mani Padme Hung

 

(known as the six-syllable seed Mantra, pronounced Ahum Mah-nee Pemmeh H'ng)

Literally translated, means "The jewel is in the Lotus."

 

(It has many layers of meaning, some quite complex, but this is always the main and basic premise....)

 

The Lotus is a frequent symbol of Buddhism.

 

Its roots are bedded in filth and silt - the murkier and muddier the waters, the better, it seems - but the flower rises above the surface, and is a bloom of perfect qualities, resplendent in its translucent beauty...

 

That is to say, although we are immersed in all the conditions of life which obscure our progress, and keep us tied in the cycle of Samsara, we have the ability to rise above it, and transcend the obscurations which are our (mental) environment.

In brief, we all have the potential to be Buddha.

Buddha merely means 'awake'.

 

The Buddha - wasn't Buddhist.

 

So, according to some traditions, although our outward apparel betrays nothing, within, we ALL glow - like a precious jewel, hidden beneath the folds of pure petals, just waiting to reach the sun and open up in splendid purity....

 

This is why many Buddhists recite this mantra while meditating....

 

It keeps us focussed on the objective.

to open up and shine.

 

:)

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creighton0123
If nothing matters, why strive to do anything, to accomplish goals, to better ourselves?

 

 

 

And how can "feel[ing] good about yourself" be obtained if there is no identity to be had; if a "good" feeling is as transient as everything else?

 

We do all of these things in order to attempt to alleviate suffering - both our personal connection to that which is temporary and the suffering of others. If all we did was build a structure around the negative - that is making the world a more difficult place for ourselves and others - we would leave behind us negative repercussions that would contribute to greater suffering.

 

I would even say that feeling good about yourself is a futile practice in the end. There really is nothing to feel good about just as there is nothing to feel bad about.

 

I find it important that anything I build that I enjoy in life, I am capable of letting go without having the abandon cause suffering. These things don't define you. An answer to that question is something I find to be fundamentally futile.

 

Simply because everything is both transient and temporary doesn't mean we can't strive to make things easier. We must always act in a way we personally feel is moral - that is causing no intentional or avoidable harm to ourselves or others - knowing full well what the consequences of our actions can be.

 

I like to think of it as carrying a small rock on a mountain. Sure, we know that carrying said rock adds to our load and may increase our temporary suffering. Dropping the rock could, however, cause a landslide or avalanche. Isn't it better to hold onto that rock and place it somewhere secure and make things safer for ourselves and others? That's both wise and ethical.

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buddhistgirl

Remembering that everything in this world is temporary is the hardest thing for me to do. I get caught up in the world so easily. However, reading this post has helped me remember throughout the day what life truly is: temporary. We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our lives, when we should be focusing on how to better ourselves and the world. It is hard to just "be in the moment" and be content with everything because it is temporary. Not attaching myself to this life is definitely a hard step for me; but when I finally see things the way I know I should see them, I'm sure I will be a much happier, and less stressed, person. :)

I have read "How to expand love," and am looking for more books. Reading Buddhist material always helps me stay focused. Anyone have good suggestions?

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Remembering that everything in this world is temporary is the hardest thing for me to do. I get caught up in the world so easily. However, reading this post has helped me remember throughout the day what life truly is: temporary. We tend to focus on the negative aspects of our lives, when we should be focusing on how to better ourselves and the world. It is hard to just "be in the moment" and be content with everything because it is temporary. Not attaching myself to this life is definitely a hard step for me; but when I finally see things the way I know I should see them, I'm sure I will be a much happier, and less stressed, person. :)

I have read "How to expand love," and am looking for more books. Reading Buddhist material always helps me stay focused. Anyone have good suggestions?

 

 

-Dale Carnegie- How to win friends and influence people.

-Eckhart Tolle- Practicing the power of now.

-The Tibetan book of Living and Dying - Sogyal Rinpoche.

-The Art of Happiness- HH the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler.

-The Awakening Trilogy- Awakening the Buddha within, Awakening to the -Sacred, and Awakening the Buddhist Heart. Lama Surya Das

-The Art of Power- Thich Nhat Hanh

-Ruling Your World- Sakyong Mipham

-Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda- Freeman and DeWolf

 

I'd suggest you read the art of happiness first.

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buddhistgirl

thank you for the suggestions. I have wanted to read "The art of happiness" for a long time. I just haven't got around to it. But I really need a new book to read. I am quite the bookworm.

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betterdeal

I highly recommend "The Consolations of Philosophy" which I am reading currently. I've learnt from this the way in which Socrates and Epicurus came to similar views as Buddha did, several centuries after the Greeks did, suggesting it's a perennial philosophy.

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