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Rejected...by a Christian Girl (My Christian Testimony)


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hi, i'm a new member. The following rant is about how a Christian girl showed me God and helped me find my faith again, how she ultimately rejected me and ended our friendship, but regardless, has still given me the greatest gift i've ever received in my life; God.

Before I met her, i was a very lax Roman Catholic, typical "christmas-easter" church-goer. Well i met her during my senior year of high school and learned that she was a devout born-again Christian. We didn't talk much about religion, but regardless, became very good friends. I even took her to prom. : ) At the beginning of that Summer, God was brought up into one of our conversations and well, needless to say, she brought me back into my faith. It was life-changing for me. I started studying the Bible, attending church, praying, and really felt
so
much better about myself and my life. We continued to get very close to each other over the Summer. I felt comfortable talking to her about anything. She helped me out through many bad times in my life. I never made a move on her or asked her to be my girlfriend though. I just loved her as a friend.

As her leaving for college came closer, I began to see that she really didn't think much of me except for another "brother in Christ". She became very excited about her going to an all-Christian University and started losing interest in me. She didn't want to hang out much anymore, talked less to me on the phone and online, and shared less of her feelings and thoughts to me about God and what's been going on in her life. The last time we saw each other all i got from her was simply a casual "cya later, hopefully over winter break". Later, I told her how I felt, how she's been my best friend, how she's helped me through
so
many bad times in life and how i would miss her
so
much. I received a "i have to go now" and a hang-up. A week went by of ignored phone calls and unreplied text messages. When i was finally able to contact her, I asked her if i could see her one last time before she left
so
i could say goodbye. She refused. Later after she left fr college, she told me that she knew i had a crush on her and that she didn't feel comfortable talking to me anymore. She felt her friendship to me would be detrimental to my "maturing" in Christ because of the romantic distraction.
So
she left and gave me a referral to a "male mentor" at the Church she goes to. Thus was the end of our friendship.

 

Why am i telling you all of this? She was wrong, and this act of rejection should have discouraged me from getting stronger in my faith. It didn't though. I learned
so
much from her, about forgiveness, about faith, hope, and how to get through all of life's obstacles. It just
so
happened that she became one of my life's obstacles. Though i felt hurt, betrayed, and sad that she did this to me, i can't help but forgive her and thank her for what she has given me. I look forward to the day when I meet the right girl, and until that day i will live my life like the way Jesus wanted.

One of the keys to getting over rejection is seeing what you've learned from it
so
you can apply it to future relationships. And here's a little secret. It was earlier today that she rejected me. I haven't anywhere near gotten over it. The tears that i've cried today show that. It may take days, weeks, months, but I know that when I do, I will come out such a greater person.

 

I'
m
not trying to convert anybody here or tell anybody who's unsure about their faith to sign up with Christianity because all your emotional problems will go away. To me, my faith is a way of dealing with the problems in my life, it doesn't take them away. If there's anything you can get out of this incredibly long rant that no one will probably ever bother reading, LEARN TO FORGIVE THE ONES THAT HURT YOU.

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LEARN TO FORGIVE THE ONES THAT HURT YOU.

I agree with your conclusion here.

 

I am interested in clarifying: in your mind, what was the nature of her betrayal? You said "she was wrong" - what was she wrong about, or what did she do wrong?

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from the sound of it, she has an eye on the bigger picture, and cares enough about you to walk away so that you don't get distracted. I know that sounds like baloney, but she may be able to see things a bit more clearly, you know?

 

as much as you're hurting, I think you're right to take away the positive of y'alls relationship.

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A lot of Christians only relate to other people as potential converts. Sounds to me like "Mission accomplished, move on to the next project." Cynical? Perhaps, but that is sometimes just the way it is.

 

Cheers,

D.

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thank you for the replies. i'll hopefully be able to address your comments and questions in my...sadly to say, update, because she tried coming back to me. (so much for moving on, haha). apparently after much feeling sad about hurting me, she im'd me and explained everything to me. seems in the course of the past couple of weeks, she got involved with another guy, who sadly to say ended up breaking her heart. my wanting to hold on to her during the same weeks reminded her too much of her trying to hold onto him, so she wanted nothing to do with me. She thought that i was in love with her. She wanted to "spare me" all of the crap she's been feeling with this guy.

 

i guess you can say that she was wrong (referring back to trimmer) that she felt she couldnt talk to me about this, when she knew that all i wanted to do was help, which i did. we talked for hours and i talked her through it, like the many times she has talked me through this. this also wasnt the first time that she has flirted, played around with, and hooked up with "non-believers" . she thinks its ok to well, let go of her christian inhibitions with people she deems "not christian" because they would mean nothing to her spiritually and that she would never get into anything serious with Christ by them. She told me that she really lowered her standards with this guy and feels like crap, but that she wants him even more now. It was a relief that she finally spoke to me, giving me closure about the hundreds of "what did i do's" "what's going on in your life?!"'s and such. I've seen her true nature as a person, using her faith as a scapegoat to indulge in herself in other men and feel guilt free. It just so happens though that this one time really really shook her. (i cant go into the details) It's sad to say that from this relationship that i've learned also that i do deserve better. she has brought out so many qualities in me that i never knew i had until i accepted God into my life, and i now see that there is someone for me out there who would love me for these qualities. But because she has given me this gift, i will never abandon or forsake her. No matter how much she says she's been angry at me, wishing to scream at me, curse me, and not think of me as someone who she'd be attracted to, I will always be there and remain her friend because I want to live like Jesus. I'm just moving on at the same time though : ) And to tell you the truth, i have been getting through to her. Little by little, i'm helping her get back on track with God. I know that i won't be seeing her again until December, but i know that we will have both matured a lot, and that when we do see each other, we will have so much to offer to each other again.

 

so yes, quankanne, it's good looking at the big picture and taking away the positive. you're right! ty

 

and disgracian, i've felt that way many times. If it's true, then ill just have to accept it, sadly. In the mean time i'm going to move on but still have my faith in her because i forgive her.

 

ok, i'm probably not going to respond in this topic anymore, because i really just want to put this in the past and move on, haha. but i will definitely be contributing to many of the other topics in this forum. oh, and i promise all of my other posts and replies will be nowhere near as long as these two. this website is a great resource and i'm glad to now be a new member. see you all around!

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Well, I'm glad you've learned what was going on.

 

I suspect your feelings about her are more complex than you give them credit for on the surface. That's why I asked why you termed her actions a "betrayal" - not normally the depth and intensity we assign to someone who is "just a friend" who pulls away for some reason (like when my male buddy leaves for college and gets busy with other stuff...) And I noticed that you asserted that she used "her faith as a scapegoat to indulge in herself in other men..." Men other than whom?

 

Anyway, I don't mean to bust your chops - frankly, I would think it quite natural to develop deep feelings for someone in the situation you've described, and maybe even a bit unnatural to try to deny them and suppress them once they get noticed. Just don't be surprised if you find, within yourself, that there might be more going on here than "just friends"

 

Either way, good luck with the friendship. At least it sounds like it's on a better course now that it was before...

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