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Depression or?


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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:34 PM   #1
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Depression or?

I suffered a relationship breakdown last year and have obviously been sad about it but I think now it may have tipped over into depression. I have a lot of other stresses in my life, and I don't know, just am finding it hard telling the difference.

I'm not going to off myself, but I'd really like to not be here anymore.

I seem to have obsessive thought patterns about my ex, who was bad for me.

I'm finding it really hard to do NC, which is making me worse.

When I try to look towards the future, I have no enthusiasm. The choices I need to make in the next couple of months feel too much. My mind isn't stable enough to make sensible choices.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 3:04 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbrokenlady View Post
I suffered a relationship breakdown last year and have obviously been sad about it but I think now it may have tipped over into depression. I have a lot of other stresses in my life, and I don't know, just am finding it hard telling the difference.

I'm not going to off myself, but I'd really like to not be here anymore.

I seem to have obsessive thought patterns about my ex, who was bad for me.

I'm finding it really hard to do NC, which is making me worse.

When I try to look towards the future, I have no enthusiasm. The choices I need to make in the next couple of months feel too much. My mind isn't stable enough to make sensible choices.
My God. I totally sympathise with you and am feeling very similar right now! In fact, I have been signed off work since before Christmas and am feeling the pressure now to make important decisions. Are you on medication? Mine seems to be making me rather tired, but hopefully is temporary.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 4:15 PM   #3
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I went to Vietnam and besides the horrors I saw there, my fiancť of 5 years cheated on me. Double whammy as my plans for my future disappeared. I suffered from depression and told my doctor. I tried many medications until I found one that worked well for me and had no terrible side effects. It changed my life.

I urge you to talk to your doctor. Depression is fairly common and there are many treatments for it that work. I am no longer on medication but I took it when I needed it. I too woke up asking why? After I was on medication for a few weeks I woke up eager to meet the day. I felt happy most of the time and my obsessive thinking went away. The medication did not allow me to dwell on things like I used to.

My cousin committed suicide because his comic book store failed. His parents are very rich and he did not even have to work at all. Yet, this one failure made him feel worthless and as he said, he did not feel like he fitted into this world. Since he lived in a no gun State, he hung himself. All because he refused to get the help he needed. He just complained all the time about his condition and refused all offers of help. Get help. It is as simple as telling your family doctor and then trying various antidepressants until you find one that works. My sister is now on them due to my Dad's death and the fact that her domestic partner (a male) had a stroke and will never be the same. It is amazing how upbeat she is now compared to how depressed she was before.

Get help and it will change your life.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:21 PM   #4
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The difference between sadness and depression is very difficult to notice as it transitions, but is somewhat easier in hindsight. Sadness is an emotional reaction to loss, whether it be a loss of relationship, other loved one or the loss of something one had hoped for (eg. a failed project, business etc.) Depression tends to be more of an emotional shutdown, where the mind is unable to identify pathways toward more positive emotions. Thus it dwells on only negative emotions (or none at all - which is why people suffering from depression often report feeling emotionally "numb"), which cause one to become more isolated, which avoids positive situations and the cycle continues. When the mind is in that state, even simple positive steps feel like they take 20x the emotional effort compared to a non-depressed state.

Which makes seeking help 20x more difficult emotionally, but once you take that first step the others gradually get easier. And depending on the severity/complexity you don't necessarily need to go on medication if that's your concern - I've suffered from depression off and on for a large part of my life but the last therapist I went to worked wonders, and I'm far more happy and resilient than I've ever been. And all without medication. Even if you have to go through a couple of therapists before you find one you work well with, don't give up.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:31 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Steve51 View Post
I went to Vietnam and besides the horrors I saw there, my fiancť of 5 years cheated on me. Double whammy as my plans for my future disappeared. I suffered from depression and told my doctor. I tried many medications until I found one that worked well for me and had no terrible side effects. It changed my life.

I urge you to talk to your doctor. Depression is fairly common and there are many treatments for it that work. I am no longer on medication but I took it when I needed it. I too woke up asking why? After I was on medication for a few weeks I woke up eager to meet the day. I felt happy most of the time and my obsessive thinking went away. The medication did not allow me to dwell on things like I used to.

My cousin committed suicide because his comic book store failed. His parents are very rich and he did not even have to work at all. Yet, this one failure made him feel worthless and as he said, he did not feel like he fitted into this world. Since he lived in a no gun State, he hung himself. All because he refused to get the help he needed. He just complained all the time about his condition and refused all offers of help. Get help. It is as simple as telling your family doctor and then trying various antidepressants until you find one that works. My sister is now on them due to my Dad's death and the fact that her domestic partner (a male) had a stroke and will never be the same. It is amazing how upbeat she is now compared to how depressed she was before.

Get help and it will change your life.
I think you need to post this in this thread, too: Pain is overwhelming
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Old 5th January 2018, 7:15 AM   #6
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In my opinion, we can usually deal with sadness. But after time, if we feel we just canít do it, it could be a sign of a medical problem. So you may want to seek professional help. Just know youíre not alone. Iíll say a prayer for you.
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