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Texting anxiety?


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Old 28th December 2017, 12:23 PM   #1
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Texting anxiety?

Whenever I text my Boyfriend, and he’s busy at work he would seen my message and reply to me later
I get really sensitive over responding time
He’s not replying probably Because he’s busy and I don’t want to make it a big deal to talk about it with him, ( like asking for attention)
How can I text him freely and not feel like anxiety that he doesn’t reply because he doesn’t care for me enough and I’m not important to him?
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Old 28th December 2017, 12:30 PM   #2
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Try mediation & yoga. Both help with anxiety.

How you deal with your specific issue is you logically recognize that during his work hours unless it's an emergency you are not a priority. If you must pester him during the day you remind yourself that you probably won't hear back from him until his work day is over.

Just because technology allows people to keep in touch 24/7 doesn't mean they are obligated to do so.

On one occasion in the 11+ years I have known my husband, married for 9+, I texted & called every few minutes, basically being insistent. It was the only time I ever did that to anybody. I finally called his work & demanded the phone # of the facility where he was taking a training class. Then I had him dragged out of the class. I did all that because it really was life & death. My father had been in an accident & needed emergency brain surgery. I needed immediate support. My father died 5 days later.

Short of that leave your BF alone at work before he dumps you for being annoying.
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Old 28th December 2017, 1:29 PM   #3
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By setting realistic expectations and finding something to do to occupy your time while you wait for a response.

You are probably expecting him to reply asap whenever you message him, but this is not always going to be possible due to other priorities like work or driving. You should learn what his schedule is like so you can know when you can expect him to respond.

You should also find something to do to occupy your time so you will not think about waiting for him to respond all the time. Much of anxiety comes from a restless mind.
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Old 28th December 2017, 1:48 PM   #4
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This is something a lot of people deal with. It seems to me you already have a logical reason for why he's not texting you back immediately. When he doesn't text you back immediately, remind yourself that you can't always respond to people immediately either. While you're waiting, try distracting yourself with something else.
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Old 29th December 2017, 9:21 PM   #5
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I found it helps to just start doing something after you send a text. Weather it's cook dinner, watch a movie, go shopping.. Anything that could make a few hrs fly by. Doing that has actually made me forget I even sent a text.. For a little bit anyway.
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Old 29th December 2017, 9:33 PM   #6
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You should read the book "Attached" which discusses the various personality styles including "anxious attached", "avoidant", and "secure".

There's a lot of strategies in there to deal with the anxiety, one of which is to make your boyfriend aware of your anxiety and hopefully getting him to at least acknowledge your messages sooner before things really start to spool up for you.
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Old 30th December 2017, 8:51 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fooloflurve View Post
How can I text him freely and not feel like anxiety that he doesnít reply because he doesnít care for me enough and Iím not important to him?
Do you know his work schedule? If so, do NOT text him when he is scheduled to work. That is easy and basic and a third-grader should be able to figure it out.

Building up your own self-worthiness and esteem is your most important task at the moment. And that does not and should not rely on other people or anything outside of your own self.

So. Do NOT feel as if you are entitled to text him 'freely'! (Your are not entitled to that, and what does that even mean?) You are only truly free to text him (and all other people) when you don't feel entitled, insecure and as if texting you back is or should be the most important thing in every body else's life.

If you need to, hire a therapist or do some self-introspective work so that you will not rely on other people for your high self-esteem. (Which, you are definitely worthy of all good things, but you still need to come to that realization and conclusion by yourself. Other people can't really help you get there.)
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