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Narcissism and Hoovering...vs. Sincerity


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Old 1st January 2018, 5:28 PM   #61
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Yes, refusing to take no for an answer could be considered narcissistic because you don't care if your persistence makes her upset. Anyway, it's a new year, so time to move on to newer people and things and next time not make the same mistakes. We all make mistakes. Got to learn from them though.
The communication has been a two-way street. I have agreed to each of her NC suggestions and my own. I do not break the NC. She does each time. We are in NC now....again. Apparently our continued communication doesn't trigger her to believe that I am a narcissist. She has been all over the place and neither of us are ready to cut each other off. Quite mutual. Anyway, we're in NC now.

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My ex posted passive aggressive narcissist quotes on FB for a long time. Take a look at this board. If everyone who has been called or believed to be a narcissist or BPD or sociopath by their ex actually was one they would probably account for the majority of the population. Your ex is the last person whose counsel you should be taking for your mental health(even if your ex is really a psychiatrist, get a second opinion.)
She's a family practitioner. Based on her past and state of mind, I don't take her amateur diagnosis seriously at all. She knows me much better than that to accuse me of such. She is angry and her 'therapist' provided her ammunition to label me something I am not.

Again...we're in NC now.
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Old 1st January 2018, 6:46 PM   #62
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Good people, I know that iím being a bumb-@ss. At this point, I need to ride this out. Ugh.
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Old 1st January 2018, 6:49 PM   #63
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Good people, I know that iím being a bumb-@ss. At this point, I need to ride this out. Ugh.
I feel the need to point out that a true narcissist would never admit to being a "bumb-@ss"
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Old 1st January 2018, 6:59 PM   #64
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I feel the need to point out that a true narcissist would never admit to being a "bumb-@ss"
Thank you. Iíve been making mistakes left and right and undoubtedly flub up again before all this is over. Misspelling ĎDumb-@ssí is an example😜
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:47 AM   #65
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Check out thriveafterabuse.com if you think you are a narc. Great website that just helped me understand since my ex was a narc.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 2:01 AM   #66
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Check out thriveafterabuse.com if you think you are a narc. Great website that just helped me understand since my ex was a narc.
Thanks. I certainly have done some of the things a clinical narcissist has done, but certainly not habitually.

All so confusing.

Doesn’t there have to be a pattern of such behavior? We’re you with your ex long enough and repeat patterns observed to see true narcissistic behavior?

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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:10 AM   #67
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All so confusing. Doesnít there have to be a pattern of such behavior?
Yes. See post #14 above.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:04 PM   #68
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Yes. See post #14 above.
Yes. Clearer now. What she did was packaged a microcosm of my behaviors and relayed that information to her therapist. My single conversation with her therapist, if I believe my ex, was also used to diagnose me as NPD. Incredible. I have no idea what to believe with her.

No matter. NC is on.
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Old 7th January 2018, 4:09 AM   #69
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She has quite a nerve. Something similar happened to me 6 years ago. I had this boyfriend who betrayed me as well. When I found out I reacted very angrily. We got back together for a while but I had many angry outbursts when I felt like he was hiding things. Until I left for good. He kept in contact anyways, stating that I left him with emotional scars and that he was going to a therapist because of me etc... Many years later I found out hat he was with another woman when he was with me and she was pregnant!!!! He now emais me and tells me not to pout. Would you believe the nerve of some people? I filtered his emails going to the bin directly.

Sorry for making this about me. But I just want to say, DON'T TAKE HER SERIOUSLY!
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Old 7th January 2018, 9:36 AM   #70
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She has quite a nerve. Something similar happened to me 6 years ago. I had this boyfriend who betrayed me as well. When I found out I reacted very angrily. We got back together for a while but I had many angry outbursts when I felt like he was hiding things. Until I left for good. He kept in contact anyways, stating that I left him with emotional scars and that he was going to a therapist because of me etc... Many years later I found out hat he was with another woman when he was with me and she was pregnant!!!! He now emais me and tells me not to pout. Would you believe the nerve of some people? I filtered his emails going to the bin directly.

Sorry for making this about me. But I just want to say, DON'T TAKE HER SERIOUSLY!
Thank you. I think she was greatly influenced by people wanting to protect her from the hurt of the break-up. It is easier for some to demonize to make it easier to move on, I suppose. I seriously doubt that she really, truly believes that I am a narcissist. My friends, family and my therapist with whom I speak weekly dismisses such a notion. I'm not worried about that any more. This whole thing has become much more than I expected. I know that she is hurting and my heart sinks when I think of the pain she is going through.
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Old 7th January 2018, 9:37 AM   #71
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Thank you. I think she was greatly influenced by people wanting to protect her from the hurt of the break-up. It is easier for some to demonize to make it easier to move on, I suppose. I seriously doubt that she really, truly believes that I am a narcissist. My friends, family and my therapist with whom I speak weekly dismisses such a notion. I'm not worried about that any more. This whole thing has become much more than I expected. I know that she is hurting and my heart sinks when I think of the pain she is going through.
Then you're not a narcissist lol.

It sucks to know you're the reason someone's heart is broken .
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Old 7th January 2018, 4:41 PM   #72
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Then you're not a narcissist lol.

It sucks to know you're the reason someone's heart is broken .
There are times when I get physically sick thinking about it. My most difficult problem isnít getting over her or going NC, itís finding some way to fix some of the crap I spread on during the breakup. I didnít know it at the time and my fury prevented me from seeing it, but I went overboard. I did or didnít do enough.
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