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A year of anxiety after buying a house...


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Old 20th September 2017, 2:11 AM   #1
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A year of anxiety after buying a house...

I am 28 and making my way into the real world. My husband and I started our careers two years ago and got married this past May. So lots of life changes. My husband and I bought a foreclosure last year that was in excellent condition and therefore priced like the other houses on the street. We fell in love with the house and felt it was a dream house at a price we could afford.It appraised for 7K over what we paid and our mortgage lender says this was good.

We realized going in we would eventually need to replace the poly water pipes and old upstairs AC but did not anticipate anything other than that as our inspection went fairly well.

The week before we moved in our gorgeous tree in the front yard split in two. Ten days after we moved in we had a major roof leak during a storm that traveled from upstairs all the way downstairs through a window frame.

Ever since this time, for about a year, I have been in almost daily turmoil about this house. At least weekly, usually a few times a week, I am researching nightmare scenarios such as termite damage, bursting pipes, and roof leaks. I lay in bed at night with my chest hurting wondering if we paid too much because in addition to having to eventually replace the pipes and AC, we also decided to replace the roof as it was 25 years old and has had six leaks in a year. I constantly research home sales around us and I see houses that have more land for cheaper. It kills me. All I do is think about how we paid a fairly high price for the house and have to put so much money into it if we want to sell it eventually.

In the last few weeks since determining we needed a new roof the anxiety has consumed me. I spent a week off from work googling everything on my phone from recent home sales to roof repairs. I lay awake at night listening for odd sounds and when I hear cracks I wonder if it's termites eating the house!

I am hurting so much inside due to the anxiety and I don't know what the reason is. The house seems expensive to us but it is well within our affordable range; our mortgage is 14 percent of our monthly income after taxes AND after maxing out our 401Ks. Regardless it still kills me because I think about how much money is being "wasted." All I know is the worry about the home is taking a huge toll on me. I have always been a slight worrier but have never had worry this severe... there's nothing else in ny life I feel anxious about.

Can anyone offer any words of wisdom?
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Last edited by Driver; 20th September 2017 at 2:14 AM.. Reason: Update
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Old 20th September 2017, 10:43 AM   #2
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It's not waste. It's equity. Instead of paying rent, you are paying a mortgage. When you move, you will get the money back.


All houses are money pits. It's just the nature of upkeep.


I do understand your stress. I just found a water leak & am waiting for the plumber.


Update your insurances. Consider having the property re-appraised or even check out website like Tulia & Zillow to get their uneducated estimates about the value of the house.
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Old 20th September 2017, 11:20 AM   #3
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How much would you be spending for rent in that location? If you calculate based on that, you may find that you're not losing all that much on your house. I know that where I currently live, owning is only slightly more expensive than renting. I mean, you have to live SOMEwhere, right? Might as well get some equity while you do so.
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Old 20th September 2017, 12:29 PM   #4
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Here's a tip....

It's OK for stuff to happen. Accept it.

I bought my first house at 25 and have owned as many as four at one time over the interceding decades. Since I'm in the trades, I do pretty much everything myself. Today I was painting trim on the office in advance of reroofing it, yup, by myself. It's just stuff. Roofs leak. Pipes leak. Termites eat things.

When I bought my place in the forest and left it sitting for months on end, I was a bit concerned. Then I though, heck, it's been sitting there for decades and is still in one piece, hasn't burned down, hasn't slid into the creek, hasn't blown away. Amazing thing.... every time I came through the trees, it was still there. Untouched. Will it be there tomorrow? IDK. Will the other place I'm at right now be there? IDK. It's been around for 50 years so far.

Remember, stuff happens and its OK. You're young, energetic and smart. You can do pretty much anything you put your mind to. It's just a house. No problem.
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Old 21st September 2017, 8:29 PM   #5
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Thank you guys so much for your kind replies.

As my wonderful luck would have it, the evening after I wrote this post, I was on the phone with my mom on my drive home crying about how overwhelmed I was with this house. When I parked, I suddenly had this strong feeling that the pipes in the house were going to be leaking. I thought, wouldn't that be nuts! Sure enough I walked in to a soaked kitchen ceiling dripping all over and a panicked husband. I just knew.

These are polybutylene pipes and are leaking in two places so we really have to do a repipe on the entire house. It'll be about 9000 dollars plus maybe another 2000 to fix the water damage (my insurance does cover water damage - not a repipe - but with a 1000 deductible it just isn't worth it to call and face higher rates).

We are currently eating pizza and washing our hair over the sink because we had to turn our water off. I just have no words for this lemon of a situation but I appreciate the kind words.
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Old 21st September 2017, 8:46 PM   #6
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Sorry to hear about your pipe failure, if plastic tubing can be called pipe. Working in industry I've always shied away from that stuff. Of course, I've never owned a new home either. My OR place is the newest, built 35 years ago and it has copper piping. That has potential problems too, as any form of piping does, but again, and this can help you too now, knowledge is power. You can now learn what the best long-term solution is and implement it. Myself, I operate a private water well and have an impressive and expensive system of dealing with that well water both to make it potable and to not destroy the piping. You can learn what you need for your situation.

If I was there, and I know everything these days is insurance and contractors, I'd have the ceiling dropped, a bypass run and you'd be back in water in an hour or two at most. We did that recently for a neighbor whose sewer system slid down the mountain in a landslide. House was fine but both sewer connections ended up down on main street in town along with the mountain. So, we found the street connections, hubbed them, ran 4" ABS on trestles back to the house with nothing more than a regular construction level to do pipe grading and had everything hooked up and operating before the city even got out to handle the mountain. Of course they cussed us for not following 'procedure' but hey it was done and the paperwork could catch up later. They weren't going to crawl down into the poison oak to take it down, that's for sure We itched and blistered for a month. All for free for a neighbor on a holiday weekend.

You'll figure it out. Homeownership does that to you. If you're not handy, consider a home warranty. I know friends who've had great success with those and I've included one in every home I've sold just for peace of mind. One year is usually around 400-500 bucks.
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Old 23rd September 2017, 3:49 AM   #7
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Yeah , agree 300% with carh. Sh@t happens when you buy a place , it's just how it goes.
l was here 3wks and one of the garages that's been there 30yrs blew over into next doors.
Week later the 20ft door of the other garage took off in another storm.Thats been here 30 yrs too.
over the next 8mths had about 13k in blow outs for other crap but it's all settling down lately, l hope,
Try not to worry , one foot in front of the other when you first get a house ,and lots if murphys law.
in the end though it's your place so it's worth it and you'll get on top of it and the house will stop throwing you sh@t in the end

Meantime listen to people like Carh and find some cheap ways of getting out of the problems and a cheap local guy is worth their weight in gold too , handy man or something.
my ex farther inlaw was a builder 50yrs but when he retired he started just working in the neighbourhood doing jobs for everyone for so cheap . Knew all the tricks , might be someone like that near you.

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Old 23rd September 2017, 11:35 AM   #8
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our mortgage is 14 percent of our monthly income after taxes AND after maxing out our 401K

Oh lucky you! And you bought it with a spouse, that makes it so much simpler Of course there will be issues here and there, it sucks but that's the nature of house owning.

I got my first house this spring. Bought it by myself, no support from anyone for buying, upkeep, repairs etc. Well - contractors exist And Google/YouTube as well. When something breaks, I run to Home Depot, watch an you tube tutorial and do it . For bigger stuff - I whine for a week to all my friends and coworkers, they usually recommend a contractor - problems solved.

If I run out of money for whatever reason - I have an excellent credit and I can take a loan if need be. Or move to my smallest bedroom and rent out the other 2 and the lower level - problem solved.

Think about of joys of homeownership, and focus less on the hurdles. In the end - it is your home, it is an entity evolving as you do, it is awesome. 14% of income is insanely good. I don't see what's the big deal here.
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:34 PM   #9
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Are you sure that buying something at 14% of your income was a good idea? I mean, assuming you are not a millionaire, you are much more likely to get a lemon at that low of a price.

I sort of have a different strategy, buy something that's close to new, in a good area, close to the upper limit of what I can afford. It's scary, but at least there are no problems at all. In the last 8 years, I have spent a total of $500 on home repairs.
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Old 1st October 2017, 10:40 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Driver View Post
I am 28 and making my way into the real world. My husband and I started our careers two years ago and got married this past May. So lots of life changes. My husband and I bought a foreclosure last year that was in excellent condition and therefore priced like the other houses on the street. We fell in love with the house and felt it was a dream house at a price we could afford.It appraised for 7K over what we paid and our mortgage lender says this was good.

We realized going in we would eventually need to replace the poly water pipes and old upstairs AC but did not anticipate anything other than that as our inspection went fairly well.

The week before we moved in our gorgeous tree in the front yard split in two. Ten days after we moved in we had a major roof leak during a storm that traveled from upstairs all the way downstairs through a window frame.

Ever since this time, for about a year, I have been in almost daily turmoil about this house. At least weekly, usually a few times a week, I am researching nightmare scenarios such as termite damage, bursting pipes, and roof leaks. I lay in bed at night with my chest hurting wondering if we paid too much because in addition to having to eventually replace the pipes and AC, we also decided to replace the roof as it was 25 years old and has had six leaks in a year. I constantly research home sales around us and I see houses that have more land for cheaper. It kills me. All I do is think about how we paid a fairly high price for the house and have to put so much money into it if we want to sell it eventually.

In the last few weeks since determining we needed a new roof the anxiety has consumed me. I spent a week off from work googling everything on my phone from recent home sales to roof repairs. I lay awake at night listening for odd sounds and when I hear cracks I wonder if it's termites eating the house!

I am hurting so much inside due to the anxiety and I don't know what the reason is. The house seems expensive to us but it is well within our affordable range; our mortgage is 14 percent of our monthly income after taxes AND after maxing out our 401Ks. Regardless it still kills me because I think about how much money is being "wasted." All I know is the worry about the home is taking a huge toll on me. I have always been a slight worrier but have never had worry this severe... there's nothing else in ny life I feel anxious about.

Can anyone offer any words of wisdom?
14% MTR did you get fix rate or adjustable rate? I own my house and it's all pay for The key it pay off that MTR as fast as you can. Remember that's a loan you have to pay it back with interest. What I did was paid larger payments to knock that MTR off. Escroll Check comes in handy that's the interest you get back from your MTR. Yes owning a house is very expensive so much to worry about. But it's better to own a house than to rent because the renting you would never own the house or condo and you would be loosing more money to renting it than too owning a house and paying off the MTR.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 1:06 PM   #11
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Unfortunately, like everyone says, stuff happens. It's easy to let yourself get overwhelmed by upkeeping a house, especially an older one that needs some TLC.

I bought my 4th house 2 years ago. I knew the furnace was old, and the inspection told me as much. Within the year I needed to replace the furnace/AC. and some duct work. Oh, and a new electric panel to boot just to bring things up to code.

Then this year, tree in my back yard lost a large branch, down it came puncturing the roof on my garage and almost impaling my motorcycle.

This real world stuff is for the birds, but I wouldn't trade home ownership for renting anything. Having done both, I'm much happier owning - or sharing ownership with the bank that is.
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Old 8th October 2017, 10:55 PM   #12
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Good deal or bad, you paid what you paid and that can never be changed. So you need to let that go. Researching who made better deals isn't helping anything.


With lucky/unlucky timing houses can be great or terrible investments in the shorter term. Of course a home is more than an investment.
Homes are usually (not always) a good deal over the long haul. In return for the long term gain, a homeowner deals with responsibilities and stress. It just comes with the turf. I think that taking on such responsibilities shouldn't be done at too early an age.


Keep an eye on the current real estate market. Perhaps you'll someday find that you can sell at a profit or break even point. Or you may even end up being pleased that you secured an affordable place while housing prices go up higher for those buying later than you.


Best to fix the roof first. A good leak can destroy anything you improve below.
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Old 13th October 2017, 4:16 PM   #13
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Do some research on Classical Feng Shui — not the Westernized version of hanging crystals in the window — but the real deal that the Chinese practice. Better yet, find a consultant that practices it. You’re in a house that’s very bad energy for you and probably for your spouse. I was in a house like that once. My son broke his arm, my spouse and I divorced, and a slew of other things happened. I used to call it the ‘bad luck’ house. There may be some things you can do to stop these problems. I know it sounds crazy but I’ve seen it happen many times. I say get a consultant out there or sell the dang house.
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Old 14th October 2017, 8:53 AM   #14
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I'm with many of the others here - as much as it sucks having to do all this work, that's the quirks of any dwelling. I've moved 4 times in the past 4 years (all rentals) and pretty much every place has had things wrong with it that we only noticed once we moved in. Every thing you fix becomes one step closer to a comfortable house with everything working as it should, unfortunately some of the steps along the way can be expensive.

Although I must add I'm super envious of your mortgage being 14% of your income... man I wish I was born 40 years earlier...
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