LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

Anger problems and alcoholism.


Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being Start off with a great foundation! The place to ponder the journey towards improving yourself!

Like Tree99Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11th September 2017, 11:13 AM   #46
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 29,232
That's all the denial talking.. remember that you have a disease that tells you it's okay to continue the behavior that got you in the place you are now..

You have to change the way you are thinking, get a support system and tools to stay sober and you MUST give up Alcohol...

This will just be a cycle for you and one that already keeps repeating..

Look at your title... you know you are an Alcoholic but you have convinced yourself it's okay to drink a little..

No it isn't..
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th September 2017, 4:16 PM   #47
Established Member
 
Protec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Finland
Posts: 960
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
That's all the denial talking.. remember that you have a disease that tells you it's okay to continue the behavior that got you in the place you are now..

You have to change the way you are thinking, get a support system and tools to stay sober and you MUST give up Alcohol...

This will just be a cycle for you and one that already keeps repeating..

Look at your title... you know you are an Alcoholic but you have convinced yourself it's okay to drink a little..

No it isn't..
Ten Warning Signs You’re An Alcoholic
The following are ten warning signs of alcoholism that might help answer the question “Am I an Alcoholic?”:

Drinking alone and in secrecy - I usually drink alone
Losing interest in other activities that were once enjoyable - More than before
Alcohol cravings - Sometimes
Making drinking a priority over responsibilities, such as employment and family - Never

Alcohol withdrawal symptoms (sweating, anxiety, etc.) - Maybe?
Extreme mood swings and irritability - True.
Feelings of guilt associated with drinking - Sometimes
Having a drink first thing in the morning - Never
Continuing to drink, despite health, financial and family problems - Sometimes
Inability to stop or control the amount of alcohol that’s consumed - Sometimes

I guess i am not full blown alcoholic yet, but i better stop it now before i turn into one.
Protec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th September 2017, 6:22 PM   #48
Established Member
 
MidwestUSA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7,450
You don't have to answer in the affirmative to each of those categories to be considered an alcoholic. What I see is you making excuses and minimizing. No more patting yourself on the back for being able to have just one with lunch, you CAN'T!

"Full blown" or not, until you realize that you cannot touch a drop, recovery is out of reach. How much longer are you going to delay this? What is it going to take? An arrest? Jail? Prosecution for domestic violence?

Get to work.
knabe likes this.
__________________
Well, bless your heart.
MidwestUSA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th September 2017, 6:58 PM   #49
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 7,595
I'm still taking a slightly different approach to the alcohol. I am of the mind that if you're using alcohol to self medicate, it's a fools errand to try and give up alcohol without first (or at least concurrently) addressing your mental health problems.

Get yourself along to a polyclinic and work out a plan which addresses both your mental health and addiction problems.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th September 2017, 7:10 PM   #50
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 29,232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protec View Post
I guess i am not full blown alcoholic yet, but i better stop it now before i turn into one.
I think you are.. I have been reading your drinking issues on here for a long time.

BTW.. I'm an Alcoholic.. I have 30 years of continued sobriety and live a 12th step life WITHOUT Alcohol.

You posting this list is more denial trying to show you can drink like a normal person.. you can't..
Your life has become unmanageable and you have committed multiple cases of Domestic Violence against women in your life while being drunk, you have broken things and had the police contact you.

Get some help.. Call your local AA chapter..
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th September 2017, 7:13 PM   #51
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 29,232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protec View Post
I guess i am not full blown alcoholic yet, but i better stop it now before i turn into one.
BTW.. I didn't fit in your list either.. but guess what.. I'm an Alcoholic...

You can't stop drinking..... that alone should help show you have have to quit.
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th September 2017, 1:49 AM   #52
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 57,548
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protec View Post
I admit it. I have anger management issues and problems with alcohol.

I lost my soon-to-be-GF because of alcohol and anger issues last weekend.

What kind of tips you have for me?

How did you get rid of alcohol and how did you learn to control your anger?

I have been struggling with my anger issues ever since i was a kid, so it's not just about alcohol that causes a furious rage inside me.

I undergo therapy and it has helped, i already started to feel better but last weekend i lost my head again and lost the most amazing woman because of that.

I have now decided not to drink alcohol at all anymore, how can i keep it that way?

Also my anger causes problems, i say evil things, i threat people and i behave very aggressively when i get angry. Otherwise i am the nicest guy you probably know. I am very kind, sensitive and considerate man, but when i get angry i would like to burn the whole earth, including me. So i am pretty much completely opposite person when i become angry.

Any tip is more than welcome. I have lost too many people because i cannot control myself when i've drunk.
AA, getting a sponsor and continuing therapy, even consider anger management too. Seems you need to learn to change your behavior, you're so used to letting anger rule your life and you've lost way too much... You learn how to have techniques to slow down your anger and not have anger spew out of your mouth so you won't hurt others with your words.
knabe likes this.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th September 2017, 3:40 AM   #53
Established Member
 
Protec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Finland
Posts: 960
Quote:
Originally Posted by MidwestUSA View Post
You don't have to answer in the affirmative to each of those categories to be considered an alcoholic. What I see is you making excuses and minimizing. No more patting yourself on the back for being able to have just one with lunch, you CAN'T!

"Full blown" or not, until you realize that you cannot touch a drop, recovery is out of reach. How much longer are you going to delay this? What is it going to take? An arrest? Jail? Prosecution for domestic violence?

Get to work.

I am working. This is my new record in years. Only 1 beer during 1,5 weeks.

Also, it's not just alcohol that causes my anger issues. It's something else. Of course alcohol boosts it and makes it easier to get angry, but i've been very angry even without alcohol...

Alcohol is bad, of course, but it's something else that makes me wanting to drink. Maybe depression, i don't know. Need to find out.
Protec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th September 2017, 6:37 AM   #54
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 29,232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protec View Post
Alcohol is bad, of course, but it's something else that makes me wanting to drink. Maybe depression, i don't know. Need to find out.
To start you need to stop drinking and then figure out why you drank and then you won't want to drink anymore.

You need help....
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th September 2017, 4:56 PM   #55
Established Member
 
Protec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Finland
Posts: 960
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
To start you need to stop drinking and then figure out why you drank and then you won't want to drink anymore.

You need help....
Yes. I do go to therapy. I was bullied almost my whole childhood (years 8-15)

So i guess that has something to do with it. Also we had some problems in the family (we lost our apartment few times due lack of money). So it was very hard time for me when i was in my teen years. Bullied in school and on top of that all the problems at home, and i was even homeless for few weeks (luckily i managed to stay at my relatives place when they were on vacation).

So i've also been through a lot. I know i don't manage rejections well or sudden changes in life.

Gonna talk with my sis tomorrow if i can go back to psychiatrist. I do have some qualities of ASD in me, but just quite slightly.

Truth is i get easily stuck in my life. I just can't get anything done. Sure, i make music and that is about only thing that insterests me in life.

And currently i am depressed about the behaviour of the woman i dated for a while. Currently she acts like she doesn't even know me.

And it confuses me.

Afterwards we separated, she told me that she had all kinds of dreams about us being together and having future together etc. because she liked me so much.

And it hurts. Why the hell does she have to tell that AFTER we got separated. It makes me even more sad...
Protec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2017, 5:48 AM   #56
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 29,232
I'd like to hear you say that Alcohol is a problem in your life and your life has become unmanageable and that you need to quit for good and for all.

Anything else is just the denial talking..

You can't just have one beer... you have to quit.
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2017, 8:16 AM   #57
Established Member
 
Protec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Finland
Posts: 960
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
I'd like to hear you say that Alcohol is a problem in your life and your life has become unmanageable and that you need to quit for good and for all.

Anything else is just the denial talking..

You can't just have one beer... you have to quit.
I admit yesterday i had such a craving for alcohol. I was shopping groceries and walked past alcohol section.

"Just one...one can't hurt right? Just one to relax my brains..."

But, i struggled through it. I bought a six-pack of coke instead. So, now i am addicted to caffeine...but i guess that's better than alcohol.

I am constantly tense, nervous and i have hard time concentrating so i think about having alcohol. Because usually i concentrate better when i've had beer or two, to take away the "noise", from my brain.

Because my mind is everywhere at the same time, when i get few drinks, i focus better. I have no idea why that is.
Protec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2017, 8:30 AM   #58
Established Member
 
amaysngrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Jersey Shore
Posts: 23,322
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protec View Post
I am constantly tense, nervous and i have hard time concentrating so i think about having alcohol. Because usually i concentrate better when i've had beer or two, to take away the "noise", from my brain.
You have stuff floating around that you need to sort through. Do you journal? Sometimes getting those thoughts out on paper and out of your head can really help and make it easier to work through.

Have you tried it?

You don't even need a fancy journal. Just a regular old notebook and a pen will do.

Good for you for choosing soda rather than alcohol!! With the money you're saving you may want to check out having Hint water delivered for an even better option.
I recommend blackberry.
__________________
just dance
amaysngrace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2017, 9:34 PM   #59
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 29,232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protec View Post
So, now i am addicted to caffeine...but i guess that's better than alcohol.
Every single AA meeting I have attended had a coffee pot brewing in the same room as the meeting...
knabe likes this.
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th September 2017, 12:50 AM   #60
Established Member
 
Protec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Finland
Posts: 960
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
Every single AA meeting I have attended had a coffee pot brewing in the same room as the meeting...
Drinking coffee right now

Is it normal to feel irritated and crave for alcohol while trying to get rid of it?

I mean i've been kinda grumpy for weeks now. Of course maybe the fact that i f'd up my lovelife with a nice woman increases that grumpiness.

Also i am planning on moving. This apartment where i currently live drives me insane because of noisy neighbours and the other neigbour smokes me to death.

So i hope i get some peace of mind in that new apartment. At least it's supposed to be smoke-free, so maybe i am finally able to keep my windows open so i can at least get fresh air in!

That is one major reasons why i am so angry. And prone to drinking.
Protec is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Anger problems in marriage, EMDR Therapy is ing CarboniteCammy Marriage & Life Partnerships 6 26th April 2013 2:56 AM
ex says i have anger problems. loveburden Second Chances 0 22nd November 2011 7:14 AM
20 year old girl with anger problems :( layercakegal Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being 7 14th August 2008 8:27 AM
My relationship seems useless, alcoholism, too many problems... bluelips General Relationship Discussion 21 27th December 2005 1:43 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:11 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.