How to deal with a BAD person.

[eni]

All my life I have surrounded myself by "good" people. Meaning: honest, kind, selfless, thoughtful etc... people with Good hearts. and generally, i think people are good.

 

Now however, I am exposed to a "bad" person. and by bad, i mean, their core isn't kind. This person appears fine on the outside, but their nature is selfish, dishonest, intentionally mean and basically taking pleasure out of someone else's suffering.

 

Normally, I could distance myself from a person like this but this person is my husbands sister. It is impossible to cut her from my life because I have to see her a couple times a week.

 

This girl speaks kind words, giving words, however, she acts unkindly, and selfishly. Her words never match her actions. This I think makes it hard for people to recognize how she truly is, especially at the beginning.

 

I do however know a few people that see right through her, and they also think shes a bad person.

 

I dont want to go into details on the things she does, but she doesnt like me, which makes it more difficult for me. She manipulates people with her words, and my husband doesn't see anything bad about her. To him she is kind.

 

So I am stuck having this person in my life that completely drains me. I can only imagine how bad it is for me to have her in my life and i dont know what to do.

 

I try to ignore her but its not enough. I see her but dont speak much to her. I do not want to say anything to her that later she will twist and use against me. So i stay quiet and I hate it.

 

My husband knows I dont like her. He thinks Im the problem because shes smart enough never to talk bad about me to him. When i tell him about something bad she did to me, he doesn't believe me and says im overreacting. So i stopped talking to him about her too.

 

I am constantly contemplating divorce because of this situation. Every day more.(especially that my husband does not have my back).

 

Any advice? There must be a way....

[d0nnivain]

Ignore her. Set her up in your mind that she is inconsequential, that nothing she does or says impacts you. Plaster a smile on your face when you are forced to interact with her, keep it as brief as possible but basically learn not to care.

[kazen]

The best way to deal with bad people is to not to let them know you are aware of their true intentions, play dumb and keep them thinking you think they are a kind person so they will keep trying to act kind. At the same time don't fall for any of their tricks and always keep your distance as much as possible. But I think you mention she knows you don't like her? That's a problem. At this point, you have to make her belief you are ok with her being around, just small chit chat. I would consider moving further away so she doesn't come by that often if that is possible.

 

That's the negative aspect of marriage, you gotta put up with the in-laws.

[whichwayisup]

Detach from her and make yourself not care what she says or does. You have no control over that. You know the type of person she is and I'm betting your husband does too but he loves his sister and doesn't want to face the fact she's just not a nice genuine person. You don't have to be friends with her or confide in her about anything. Just keep conversations light and carefree.

 

Don't divorce your husband over this.

[Fair]

Your husbands feelings about this are rather a betrayal... no one's partner ought to side with someone else, family or not. You're married, you have a union... when one of you doesn't feel that way, how is it a positive thing for your marriage? The sister could very well end up being a catalyst for divorce, here...

[Chilli]

Ex;s sister was similar , probably worse. Even at 42 she was still 10 fold more trouble to the whole family and her parents , than a teenager.

Crazy.

l was lucky bc ex knew it all with her.

Anyway they all got lucky in the end and she dropped dead at 43.

Cross ya fingers.

[preraph]

That's what bad people do. They lie and gaslight and try to make you the evil one. But now, listen, this is his sister and he KNOWS how she is but is just used to it, unfortunately. This is his bad and I wouldn't stay there if he wouldn't take my side. I do not believe at all that he thinks she is innocent having grown up with her. So there's some reason it's easier for him to dis you than her.

[stixx]

All my life I have surrounded myself by "good" people. Meaning: honest, kind, selfless, thoughtful etc... people with Good hearts. and generally, i think people are good.

 

Now however, I am exposed to a "bad" person. and by bad, i mean, their core isn't kind. This person appears fine on the outside, but their nature is selfish, dishonest, intentionally mean and basically taking pleasure out of someone else's suffering.

 

Normally, I could distance myself from a person like this but this person is my husbands sister. It is impossible to cut her from my life because I have to see her a couple times a week.

 

This girl speaks kind words, giving words, however, she acts unkindly, and selfishly. Her words never match her actions. This I think makes it hard for people to recognize how she truly is, especially at the beginning.

 

I do however know a few people that see right through her, and they also think shes a bad person.

 

I dont want to go into details on the things she does, but she doesnt like me, which makes it more difficult for me. She manipulates people with her words, and my husband doesn't see anything bad about her. To him she is kind.

 

So I am stuck having this person in my life that completely drains me. I can only imagine how bad it is for me to have her in my life and i dont know what to do.

 

I try to ignore her but its not enough. I see her but dont speak much to her. I do not want to say anything to her that later she will twist and use against me. So i stay quiet and I hate it.

 

My husband knows I dont like her. He thinks Im the problem because shes smart enough never to talk bad about me to him. When i tell him about something bad she did to me, he doesn't believe me and says im overreacting. So i stopped talking to him about her too.

 

I am constantly contemplating divorce because of this situation. Every day more.(especially that my husband does not have my back).

 

Any advice? There must be a way....

 

Some people are like vampires in life. They exhaust and drain anyone they are in contact with.

 

I dated a woman that drained me within a couple hours. I dumped her fast as can be. You can always tell the soul sucking negative vampires of life that you associate with. You feel drained being with them over a cup of lousy coffee at Starbucks..

 

Bye-bye.