JustGettingBy Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 In the past few weeks, I've had an extremely large number of people (co-workers, friends, family and random people from the street) mention frequently that I seem either "off", or ask "is something wrong?" and a few even go as far as to say I "look p***ed off". Not sure why the sudden increase in this, and I don't go around looking for a fight/sympathy, etc. so idk what's putting off this vibe. Any ideas on how to give off a better one? Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorW Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Just a question but do you suffer from anxiety, nervousness or have been under stress? Those are the first things that comes to mind but I could be wrong of course. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustGettingBy Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Just a question but do you suffer from anxiety, nervousness or have been under stress? Those are the first things that comes to mind but I could be wrong of course. I suffer from a lot of symptoms of anxiety, but probably not enough to warrant a diagnosis. Nothing particular when it comes to nervousness. As for stress, I'm on the breaking point as to finding a full-time job in my field (4 interviews since the start of June, have yet to hear back from the two last week), and my current jobs are combining for 40 hours, almost all of which are nights and weekends, so that might be a factor. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Your inner feelings are showing themselves externally is what's going on. To address it, you'd have to look at what's going on inside. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Yes, I wonder have you had anything on your mind? Have you been finding yourself deep in thought? Hows life going on a whole, never been better or are you stressed? Our faces often show our inner thoughts even if we do not intend them too. For me, I know I give off a “good vibe” if I am thinking about happy, or especially funny things. For one, I think I am pretty god damn funny and crack myself up constantly (yes I am crazy like that). I just see things and people in my daily life that I find humorous, and my inner conversation shows on my face. Which in turn I have found people find me very approachable when I am in that sort of mood. Heheheh ahhh I am laughing to myself just thinking about it – so I ride a commuter train every day. It’s the kind of place you see the same people all the time, yet people are rarely friendly and chat. Any way, I have all sorts of regulars that I see all the time, and I give them little nicknames in my head (some of which crack me up!!) Oh there goes Mitt Romney, man his suit is on point today. Look at blueberry go! She is really having to run to make that one. Damn, Mr. cheek bones he knows he’s hot stuff… And my running commentary means I am smiling, maybe even let out a giggle – its contagious. Other people make eye contact with me and smile back. My good mood adds a twinkle to my eye. So…. What running commentary has been going through your head? Is it over whelmed with bills and stress, or are you noticing how glorious and sunny the day is, or just the funny little things in life around us? (edited to add - saw you just answered - its the stress. I am sure it shows all over your face) 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TaylorW Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 I suffer from a lot of symptoms of anxiety, but probably not enough to warrant a diagnosis. Nothing particular when it comes to nervousness. As for stress, I'm on the breaking point as to finding a full-time job in my field (4 interviews since the start of June, have yet to hear back from the two last week), and my current jobs are combining for 40 hours, almost all of which are nights and weekends, so that might be a factor. Yeah I thought so, I have also some anxiety and when I'm under stress I get those comments from people too sometimes. What helped me is doing some sports, mindfulness, learning to be alone without distraction so I can calm down and I'm starting to learn about progressive muscle relaxation apparently that's also good. Link to post Share on other sites
InvisiBlonde Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 I, too, have been trying lately to be aware of how I come across. One thing that always cracks me up and thereby makes me smile no matter how miserable or stressed out I feel is asking myself if I am wearing an RBF. I only heard of that maybe three years ago (I don't get out much), and I thought it was hilarious! To this day, every time I think of it, I laugh out loud. It's made it easy and fun to be mindful of how I'm feeling. I know you'll get a great job soon. Patchworking hours like that is a nightmare (BTDT), but the upside is that a regular 9 to 5 feels like a vacation! Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 (edited) I suffer from a lot of symptoms of anxiety, but probably not enough to warrant a diagnosis. Nothing particular when it comes to nervousness. As for stress, I'm on the breaking point as to finding a full-time job in my field (4 interviews since the start of June, have yet to hear back from the two last week), and my current jobs are combining for 40 hours, almost all of which are nights and weekends, so that might be a factor. So it seems pretty straight forward - you look off because you are off. Solution - Well the job is obviously contributing here - so you need to take time to work on things that will help with anxiety, stress. There are plenty of things you can do for this. Exercise, meditation, massage, reading, take regular walks in nature - but one of the simplest, cheapest and least effort things you can do is start a ritual of nightly Epsom salts baths. Epsom salts are basically just magnesium - they cost nearly nothing but are proven as highly effective at combating stress and anxiety. Magnesium becomes depleted when we are stressed and it acts as a natural calmer of the nervous system. Light a candle, play some relaxing music and spend 10-20mins in the tub at night (your body absorbs magnesium most effectively through the skin). Works well before bed as magnesium also helps you to get a deep restorative sleep - something people struggle with when stressed. Try it 3-4 times a week - believe me you will feel the difference. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13952/why-everyone-should-try-an-epsom-salt-bath.html Edited July 13, 2017 by Justanaverageguy Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 l've noticed even slight facial expressions, with me anyway , can change the way people are around me. You might just be looking a bit more serious than usual lately. try just softening your face just a bit. It doesn't have to be a stupid grin but just as long as it''s not all serious. Makes all the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
BryanSmiley Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 l've noticed even slight facial expressions, with me anyway , can change the way people are around me. You might just be looking a bit more serious than usual lately. try just softening your face just a bit. It doesn't have to be a stupid grin but just as long as it''s not all serious. Makes all the difference. There's a lot to be said here, I was watching a video a friend took of us at a festival the other day. I was in good spirits most of the time. But in this clip boy did my facial expression look accidentally - stern/moody. I've had it commented on before that I looked serious when focusing on something or deep in thought. Well, given stress, lack of sleep being tired, and deep in thought - I definitely find myself trying to loosen up but it is easier said than done as-well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 People say that because they want you to say something to them (preferably something warm). You don't even have to smile when you say something warm and then they'll feel better. Alternatively, you can just smile more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustGettingBy Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 Thanks to all of those who replied. I'll be sure to try some of these (walks, reading, warm smiles) have been trying others (exercise, mediation) and will see where it takes me. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 the vibe you give off can often be attributed to exactly what you are thinking..... so if you think good thoughts ....you give off a good vibe....if you think of things that make you happy and make you smile...you give off a good vibe.....when go out i try not to think of my trials and troubles i try to think of the people around me...my friends my family things that make me smile...the ones i love the most......its probably why even though i do live with depression....i am considered...bubbly by my family and by people i pass in the street...they are attracted to me.....if they need help i am the person most likely to be asked for it.....and random people do approach me for conversation.........in my room ...by myself...the bubbles subside ....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 You need to blow off the tension and worry stategically so it doesn't pollute other parts of your life. As others have suggested, exercise is a good way to do it. Either vigorous exercise or even just a lot of stretching/body relaxation will help. Water aerobics is great for releasing tension and making you feel great and it's real easy, but it is true it's mostly a lot of old ladies in the classes. I always found neck and face exercises helpful for relaxing. A daily thing I used to do after work is play some aggressive music real loud on my way home and kind of shout it out, like scream therapy. Haha. Just get it out. Of course, being around pets is usually very calming, or going to do something that makes you feel primal and zenlike. For me, that requires river rafting or at least being on the water. But everyone has their thing. Just don't neglect those aspects of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 Your "vibe" is the vibration of your thoughts. Every thought gives off a measureable biochemical impulse. What we think... we become. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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