LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

How do you find living alone ?


Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being Start off with a great foundation! The place to ponder the journey towards improving yourself!

Like Tree113Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 24th July 2017, 2:32 AM   #46
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 5,415
It sorta sounds from your last post as if you've isolated yourself in a great place which is peaceful and beautiful - yet actually not great for someone who isn't a lover of space and time alone.
GemmaUK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2017, 3:44 AM   #47
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,460
l do love my space and ex and l always lived on small acreage but here yeah it can be a little isolating alone. l'm literally the last house of the town.
Acreage on 2 sides yet l can still walk into town. Beautiful living but it would be nicer with two for sure.
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th July 2017, 11:30 PM   #48
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,460
One thing don't think l'll ever get use to and tbh l hope l don't have too.
Switching stuff off and locking up at night, going up to bed and then just being there , on my own, only one in the house.
Strangest feeling and l still have trouble with it most nights.
Can't imagine so many people must've been doing that forever.
Also can't imagine wealthy people living alone in monster houses and doing that.
Even if l was wealthy l'd still need a small cosey house.

Another thing that hits me a lot because l'm renovating , is there's no one to share the excitement with when you finally finish something like the deck l'm doing or make some small addition like the cool new shower head l've just put on.
Choosing colors is a pain in the ass too , l'm not too good with house interiors.
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th July 2017, 2:18 PM   #49
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 76
I've been following this thread as I searched for this exact question.

It is definitely an adjustment. I sometimes like it but sometimes it feels empty.

I think what helps me is that I remind myself that it is not permanent. I won't be alone forever so I should enjoy being single to the best of my ability while in this state. It is related to living in the now. Something I am struggling to learn.

Only comment I can give on sharing renovating joy, at least you get to make all your own decisions!
In my case he got to chose the flooring in the kitchen which is ok but not my first or second choice. And now every time I go into the kitchen I am reminded and annoyed... just saying...
Chilli likes this.
lonelyplanetmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th July 2017, 4:24 AM   #50
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 801
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilli View Post
Do you live alone , l have been 4yrs now since my divorce.
My daughter was staying quite a bit but of late not very much, bf and friends , teen , you know.
My gf was 2/3 LDR so she was only here part of the time and since we've split l'm mostly on my own.
lt's so strange to me , l've only lived alone here and there in early 20s,then l lived with a gf and later l got married and we were together 19yrs.
l've only just bought my first house after financially and mentally recovering after divorce and it's pretty bizarre being here alone.

lt has a spare room and l've thought of sharing but l'd rather have the place free for when my daughter comes and goes and not crazy about sharing a house again now with basically a stranger.
It was only ever a gf or w in the past .

How do you do it , what do you think of it . Seems such a bizarre existence to me now days now.
wake up alone , come home alone , do work on the house and no one to show it to , making a meal , you name it , it's all very weird.
l've always needed my space and even that caused problems when l was married because l probably needed more alone time than a married person should , but holy hell , not this much.

Strange , l've known people that have always lived along , 40s , 50s , the odd unsuccessful relationship here and there bit basically mostly alone.
New town ,don't really know anyone , well two mates here but both happily married but , l'm not really the friend type anyway, not in a hanging out sense or too much of them
my brothers half hour over and we both drop in on each other but it's only a few hours here and there.
But in al honesty , l've always been a couples person , l've nearly always been in a couple since about 16 mostly actually come to think of it , with just the odd gap here or there and then later l got married.

l don;t really know wth to do with myself tbh , everything just seems a hollow victory with no one to do anything or share anything with.

Just how is it people live alone , l dunno ,suppose it's what they get use too.
l hope it's not for too much longer though myself but at the same time l also fear maybe my lucks finally ran out and the karma bus has come for me.
I moved out of home in my early twenties into sharehousing, did that for several years and then shifted out on my own. I'm an only child so am used to my own company for indefinite periods. Yes I do get lonely, but also don't like having to put up with other people's needs, compromising etc. I can do what I want whenever I want. I can decorate my house the way I like. I can cook whatever I like.I can play my music as loud as I like. I'm a musician so need the space to make noise. One of my housemates used to get frequent migraines so in the end I had to cart my drum kit back to my parents' house and practise there. I remember reading in another thread that you have lots of siblings. Perhaps this is a reason why you crave company at home.
Chilli likes this.
__________________
"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." - Carl Jung
truthtripper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th July 2017, 9:30 AM   #51
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,460
Yeah right , you'd def' need the space as a muso wouldn't you.
l was an artist for a long time and l worked best with art sh@t sprawled all over the house, floors,everywhere, a lotta loud music and l preferred working all nighters rather than day.
So l was one pain in the ass to live with let me tell ya, Hardly used the studio, the house worked best. But w was a night shift nurse so it kinda worked out.

Strangely enough, l don't like loads of friends or people around me, except in say a partying/club or whatever sitch, then l love crowds.
Done my own thing all my life, need my space far more than most.
But this is the first time really,when l haven't had a gf or then married later and l must admit , that's the stuff l find hard about this.
Although back when l was an artist l often thought an artist really needs to live on their own. Shame l'm not still doing that haha.

ps ,Hi Lonely , hey, maybe it's time to recover that kitchen floor. Funny,l'm no good with flooring , could use your tips haha

Last edited by Chilli; 30th July 2017 at 9:34 AM..
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th July 2017, 11:06 AM   #52
Established Member
 
Eternal Sunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,079
I have always loved living alone. Even when I was in relationships, I looked forward to non-date nights so that I can watch what I want, spread out in my big comfy bed or stay up till 3am doing whatever.

Having said that, I have always lived in inner city apartments, in lively neighbourhoods. The key for me is having friends and doing something with them at least 1x a week. I also have lots of social interaction at work daily.

I see my home as a place of peace and comfort where I can relax completely and recharge. I could happily live alone for the rest of my life.
__________________
"I understand who you want me to be but, I am going to show you who I actually am"
Eternal Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th July 2017, 11:43 AM   #53
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,460
Yeah right, good for you.
So do you think you'd ever get married or prefer not too.?

But yeah , one thing about my place, although l'm still not use to coming home to no one else in it but on the other hand too, that can be just beautiful can't it.
My place is real refuge like, in a way it's just the total chill , can be beautiful getting home.
Gotta get it a bit more comfy yet though but it's coming along.
Great bed, great couch , great sound system l can play as loud as l want, so slowly getting there,
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th July 2017, 7:22 PM   #54
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: California
Posts: 317
I remember shortly after I separated, getting ready to go out for a ten mile run. Before my long runs I'd always tell my then husband where I'd be running and about what time he could expect me back (so he knew to come looking for me if I wasn't back in case something happened). Well, with him no longer around I didn't know what to do. There was no one to tell, and that was the loneliest feeling ever. I think I wound up texting my mom that time, and for future runs I just left a note on my kitchen counter with my route and the time I left (for the police in case something happened to me on my run. I was a wee bit paranoid of getting hit by a car or attacked by a psycho.) But I still remember looking out through the window before my run that morning thinking, "I've got no one to look out for me." And it felt lonely and weird and sad.
Chilli likes this.
rushed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th July 2017, 8:59 PM   #55
Established Member
 
Blanco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 2,540
You all are nuts. Living alone is great, assuming you keep a healthy social life that prevents you from sitting in your apartment every night with a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

I'm convinced more relationships would last if the people didn't live together.
Blanco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st July 2017, 4:40 AM   #56
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 801
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilli View Post
Yeah right , you'd def' need the space as a muso wouldn't you.
l was an artist for a long time and l worked best with art sh@t sprawled all over the house, floors,everywhere, a lotta loud music and l preferred working all nighters rather than day.
So l was one pain in the ass to live with let me tell ya, Hardly used the studio, the house worked best. But w was a night shift nurse so it kinda worked out.

Strangely enough, l don't like loads of friends or people around me, except in say a partying/club or whatever sitch, then l love crowds.
Done my own thing all my life, need my space far more than most.
But this is the first time really,when l haven't had a gf or then married later and l must admit , that's the stuff l find hard about this.
Although back when l was an artist l often thought an artist really needs to live on their own. Shame l'm not still doing that haha.

ps ,Hi Lonely , hey, maybe it's time to recover that kitchen floor. Funny,l'm no good with flooring , could use your tips haha
Perhaps you should do some art stuff when the lonely feelings creep in.

I love nightclub crowds too. Too bad it can't be like that at home
Chilli likes this.

Last edited by truthtripper; 31st July 2017 at 4:43 AM..
truthtripper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st July 2017, 6:12 AM   #57
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 571
I lived under the same roof as my ex husband for 7 years, who is the only man I lived with, and with him I experienced true loneliness, that is sharing your life with someone who doesn't care whether you are alive or dead.

I have children so I don't live alone now but I already know I will be perfectly happy living alone once they fly the nest, because I was very content on my own before I was married, I like having my own space to recharge and do things in my own time in peace, and 'll never feel as lonely as I did when I was married.

Moral of the story: it's better to live alone than with bad company!
littleblackheart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st August 2017, 3:52 AM   #58
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 440
I live alone and have done for some time. For the most part, I love it. Everything is where I left it, the only mess to clean up belongs to me (or the bunny), I can make my own decisions and I know exactly what food is in the house. I had a great day on Sunday gardening. It looks lovely now and I did that by myself, for myself, with the flowers I wanted.

I am going through a lonely patch right now though. The hardest part is the nights alone. Seeing my friends and knowing they are going home to a warm house with their partners. But that's not really a living alone thing so much as a single thing. I spend every night alone and that can get really tough and lonely. Also, coming home and knowing there is no-one to talk to can sometimes be hard. Cooking for only myself alone. I spend a lot of time alone because I live alone and work alone for the most part. I sometimes worry this is making me less tolerant of people. I also wonder if I'll ever be comfortable living with someone....
Chilli likes this.
Tribble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st August 2017, 5:41 AM   #59
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,460
Yeah , think l'm getting spoilt.
It's winter here, nights are cold, who can be bothered going out .
Day off , wk off actually,daughter and l went up the coast yesterday , today was sunny and l planned on just staying home and working on my new deck.
gf , ex now , was saying ahve you finished the deck yet, been at it for mths, nope, getting there.
WTF, Why not ?
ahh, so many jobs started l bounce about.
You finish one at a time.
Hmm, that's not a bad idea , might try that.
So l've been going at the deck for a wk now and today l finally got most of the floor on. Very very cool.
She was onto something , this finishing jobs off thing is not a bad idea. Few days should be done.
So tonight l threw on some music and went out and walked about on my finally almost finished new deck and l must say , l'm impressed .
Later made some tea and jumped into bed , freezing by now outside , and thought well , this isn't actually too bad really , not to bad at all.

But it would've been nice to have someone here to show off my master piece new deck too.
rushed likes this.

Last edited by Chilli; 1st August 2017 at 5:43 AM..
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st August 2017, 5:46 AM   #60
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,460
Quote:
Originally Posted by littleblackheart View Post
I lived under the same roof as my ex husband for 7 years, who is the only man I lived with, and with him I experienced true loneliness, that is sharing your life with someone who doesn't care whether you are alive or dead.

I have children so I don't live alone now but I already know I will be perfectly happy living alone once they fly the nest, because I was very content on my own before I was married, I like having my own space to recharge and do things in my own time in peace, and 'll never feel as lonely as I did when I was married.

Moral of the story: it's better to live alone than with bad company!


Yeah ,l hear ya, our last few yrs were very similar.
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
find out from kids ex has new man living in house John83 Breaks and Breaking Up 11 15th February 2014 10:26 AM
Living together for 4 years to living 40min apart with no car. MrBucket Long-Distance Relationships 1 21st November 2012 4:14 PM
I am sooo embarrased!!! His mother walked in the living room to find us sprawled out Babykins General Relationship Discussion 9 30th July 2003 6:28 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:31 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.