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Feel so lonely and depressed about life, I just want out of this........


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Old 24th April 2005, 8:30 PM   #1
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Feel so lonely and depressed about life, I just want out of this........

Well lately I've been feeling very lonely and depressed about my life. I just found out my ex-gf had been cheating on me for almost our entire relationship. Now this was my first very serious relationship, and to think that it was all basically a lie just hurts so much. On top of that, by being with this girl, I pretty much lost a lot of friends and now no longer hang out with the same circle of people. I find I have a lot of acquantinces but not many real friends. I just hate being alone and by myself all the time, because that is when I sit and think about everything and I get down and depressed. I'm also very depressed about ever finding someone else again, my confidence is completely shot and I just don't think I'll ever find another woman who saw me the way my ex did. Add school, getting a job, finding a place to live, and this is all becoming way too much stress on me. I just want out, and I need some help. Nobody knows about my problems because I'm too afraid to tell anyone, even my parents. I hold it all in because I'm so scared. I just want some good luck and fortune to come my way because damnit I deserve some right now.
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Old 24th April 2005, 9:03 PM   #2
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Re: Feel so lonely and depressed about life, I just want out of this........

Quote:
Originally posted by sanne
I just want some good luck and fortune to come my way because damnit I deserve some right now.


i will cross my fingers for you. i've been there, and i hope things get better for you.

i was at a point where i felt like you did, and i even tried to take my life. obviously i didn't succeed, and things only got better after that.

don't be like me. be stronger than i was, and just go with the flow. you can't do much more than that, unless you're comfortable with talking to someone who can help you, like a counselor or psychiatrist. that wasn't what helped me, but i did try it a few times. maybe it would benefit you just to get some stuff out.

*hugs*
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Old 24th April 2005, 9:08 PM   #3
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"I just don't think I'll ever find another woman who saw me the way my ex did"

Sanne, can you explain to me why you would want to find another woman who saw you the way your ex did......all of your posts have indicated that your ex thought very little of you......snap out of it and realize that it is better to know now than to have invested lots more time and lots more heart into it. WAKE UP!
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Old 24th April 2005, 9:13 PM   #4
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Re: Feel so lonely and depressed about life, I just want out of this........

Quote:
I just found out my ex-gf had been cheating on me for almost our entire relationship. Now this was my first very serious relationship, and to think that it was all basically a lie just hurts so much.
There will be things in life that will hurt you. Others before you have felt this and others after you will feel this. In order for you to grow and understand the world you live in you must experience life and that includes pain and suffering. While this will not decrease the amount of pain you feel it should help you to understand that with each passing day you change and grow stronger. With each passing day it allows you to understand more about yourself and what you want from life. And with each passing day you prepare for your role in this life.

Quote:
On top of that, by being with this girl, I pretty much lost a lot of friends and now no longer hang out with the same circle of people. I find I have a lot of acquantinces but not many real friends. I just hate being alone and by myself all the time, because that is when I sit and think about everything and I get down and depressed.
Friends aren't just going to suddenly appear at your door. If you want to create more friendships and closer bonds to the people you know then you need to seek them out. You said you have acquaintances, then why don't you initiate contact and plan time to go out? You won't know if there is a good friend in the mix until you try. It's possible that you've kept people at a distance due to this relationship and you'll have to be the one to make the first step at finding friends.

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I'm also very depressed about ever finding someone else again, my confidence is completely shot and I just don't think I'll ever find another woman who saw me the way my ex did.
The way she saw you? The woman that cheated on you during your entire relationship is the standard for future girlfriends? Be realistic - your girlfriend isn't the great woman you're trying to make her out to be. She obviously didn't perceive you in a way no one else could or else she wouldn't have cheated on you. I understand depression and it takes time to get over a relationship, but by no means should you turn her into something she wasn't. You're more likely to find someone that truly sees you for who you are than someone that saw you the way she saw you. Set your standards higher, not lower.

Quote:
Add school, getting a job, finding a place to live, and this is all becoming way too much stress on me. I just want out, and I need some help. Nobody knows about my problems because I'm too afraid to tell anyone, even my parents. I hold it all in because I'm so scared.
Take one thing at a time. Set a list of priorities and work through them. Make a list and work from that list. This should help distract you so you're not sitting around allowing depression to take hold. You should keep busy - you need to keep busy so that one day you wake up and realize, "damn - my life is pretty good and I don't even miss her."


Quote:
I just want some good luck and fortune to come my way because damnit I deserve some right now.
So make it happen. You're only going to receive what you put into life. If you're lethargic with life then life will be lethargic with you. There's no genie in a bottle to grant you three wishes - grant your own wishes. The more you overcome and the more you depend on yourself for your happiness the strong you'll become. The more you look to yourself for a purpose and completion the happier you'll be.
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Old 24th April 2005, 9:18 PM   #5
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I'm sorry you're feeling so down...It is hard to get over somebody that you really are inlove with. Pokey's advice is wonderful. Really read what she said there.

Quote:
Nobody knows about my problems because I'm too afraid to tell anyone, even my parents. I hold it all in because I'm so scared. I just want some good luck and fortune to come my way because damnit I deserve some right now.
This seems to be a problem with some men. Not being able to open up with somebody and really talk. If you aren't comfortable talking to your parents or finding a good friend to talk to, I suggest finding a councillor to talk to. It won't do any harm and I think it could help you cope abit better.

Venting is good, so keep it coming. We're all here to listen and give our thoughts to help you as well.

Life can be really hard alot of the time...It's how we learn and grow...I personally would not want only good and easy times! It's the rough stuff that makes us get stronger and wiser. The pain, the frustration, fears - all of it - The rollercoaster ride...You're gonna make it through OK, just don't isolate yourself through this Sanne.

Hang in there.
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Old 24th April 2005, 9:39 PM   #6
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I just want you to realize that you are not alone. All the people here have gone through what you are and are still going through it. It is a very hard thing to do and you need people to help you when you get down and depressed. We have all been depressed and felt life had delt us a cruel blow. You cannot let her win. You must be strong for you. You are very important to us ( your fellow community ).

We want you to realize that you will get better. I know you don't think so now but allow yourself the time to see if things won't improve. There will come a time that you will realize you will be OK. You will enjoy a day and then another and another. Before long you will start to be happy again.

I hope you allow this to happen. Talk to someone that will listen to you. Get out your pain. It is the only way to heal.

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Old 24th April 2005, 10:56 PM   #7
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well i'm contacting people that i haven't really talked to in a while and am finding out all sorts of new things. apparently most people were under the impression that she and i were just a fling, because that is what she was telling them. anyways it feels good to clear my name and to tell the truth to people, almost everyone is just floored at what she is saying. but almost everyone i've talked to has said the same thing, just forget it and live your life and move on. i feel a lot better already, thanks a lot guys.
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Old 26th April 2005, 1:39 AM   #8
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i feel a lot better now, stupid ex sent me three txt messages tonight saying how sorry she was and she wishes she knew how i was doing. i'm glad i had the courage not to respond to any of them. I can honestly say that for once i am serious about NC. I've thought about calling her and asking for some of my stuff back, but i have yet to pick up the phone and start dialing, my mind is just telling me not to do it.
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