Redguitar35 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I used to be a really good public speaker. When I was in high school, I was a club leader which involved giving crowds of 100 people motivational speeches every week. I used to be able to do that with no problem. I got a lot of female attention. Now I'm starting to struggle with it.. I get cold feet and my mind runs out of things to say. Don't know what's the matter with me. Im losing confidence in life in general. I feel like my essence is being drained by something. Im beginning to become conflict avoidant. If a conflict occurs at this crappy job I have I try to de-escalate instead of fire back. I can't get women's attention anymore. I used to be a confident person, and now I'm becoming a wimp. I'm becoming a nonconfident, ineffectual person, and I'm not sure why. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 It's called maturity. Don't know what age you are but life goes a bit like this... Teens - you know everything, anything and no-one can tell you anything 20's - You're invincible and immortal. Your life is spread out before you, you can't wait to get started and see only big and wonderful things for yourself in the absence of evidence to the contrary 30's - You've been through the mill in career and relationships often enough to get a sense that reality is closing in. Slowly that feeling of invincibility and wide eyed optimism is being replaced by the sense that you might not achieve everything you thought you would after all. Life begins to feel like a slog and a little bit pointless but you've still got optimism and time on your side. 40's - You've got a greater sense of self just in time to begin noticing the decline in your physique that really ramps up about now. Most people say hello to their mid life crisis which is the point at which you now know, you won't achieve everything you thought you would despite optimism and best efforts. Some people react to this by getting fired up and trying to recapture their optimism and sense of invincibility. Someone people let a small part of themselves die here and others still reinvent themselves with a more realistic world view and move into acceptance. 50's You are now beyond giving a toss what your boss, coworkers, friends and relatives think about you and your life. You know that life is for living, you are who you are and you move into a firm understanding of that. The rest I don't know because I'm not there yet. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 When it comes to speaking skills, Toastmaster's helped me tremendously. Improving your speaking skills may help you regain confidence in other areas also. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Aww…I’m sorry about this. Would it help for you to see a counselor? Please take care! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 It's called maturity. Don't know what age you are but life goes a bit like this... Teens - you know everything, anything and no-one can tell you anything 20's - You're invincible and immortal. Your life is spread out before you, you can't wait to get started and see only big and wonderful things for yourself in the absence of evidence to the contrary 30's - You've been through the mill in career and relationships often enough to get a sense that reality is closing in. Slowly that feeling of invincibility and wide eyed optimism is being replaced by the sense that you might not achieve everything you thought you would after all. Life begins to feel like a slog and a little bit pointless but you've still got optimism and time on your side. 40's - You've got a greater sense of self just in time to begin noticing the decline in your physique that really ramps up about now. Most people say hello to their mid life crisis which is the point at which you now know, you won't achieve everything you thought you would despite optimism and best efforts. Some people react to this by getting fired up and trying to recapture their optimism and sense of invincibility. Someone people let a small part of themselves die here and others still reinvent themselves with a more realistic world view and move into acceptance. 50's You are now beyond giving a toss what your boss, coworkers, friends and relatives think about you and your life. You know that life is for living, you are who you are and you move into a firm understanding of that. The rest I don't know because I'm not there yet. I don't feel this is a case of growing up. I think people can be confident at any age. For some reason, I've lost all my assertiveness and courage and I'm not functioning at high level. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Aww…I’m sorry about this. Would it help for you to see a counselor? Please take care! I would definitely see a counselor if I could afford/find a quality one. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Perhaps you are in denial about something which you need to face. I think denial, not being able to face painful truths, is often the culprit that stops people from succeeding in life. I would also say, find a therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
Nowty V Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 I'm becoming a nonconfident, ineffectual person, and I'm not sure why. I would say, it is because that is what you are telling yourself. Your conscious mind is impressing the message upon your subconscious mind, your subconscious mind is acting on the information and making it so. You need an incantation or prayer. Something along the lines: I am confident, I am effective, I am dynamic, My memory is clear, I am erudite, I am an orator, I speak with ease and confidence, my voice carries clear, I will always know what to say at every moment of time and point of space. The infinite intelligence that gave me this power leads and guides me Repeat something like this five times, three times a day, and just before sleep. Impress the message upon your subconscious mind. repeat it in your mind when you have spare moments. After a few weeks things should improve. What you think - you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I am confident, I am effective, I am dynamic, My memory is clear, I am erudite, I am an orator, I speak with ease and confidence, my voice carries clear, I will always know what to say at every moment of time and point of space. The infinite intelligence that gave me this power leads and guides me Positive affirmations don't work for everyone. Imo, it's lying to yourself that everything's fine when it's not, avoiding facing the cause of the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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