Trying to improve my conversation skills

[Moonwalker1982]

Or maybe they can be called communicative skills.

 

 

So i recently moved to a new neighborhood and they have this great big park where i walk with my dog, multiple times a day. I also come across plenty of women and i always great them, i am a friendly guy, haha. So last sunday i was sitting on the bench and my dog was sniffing around and this rather nice looking young lady walks past me and stops and lets her dog and my dog become acquainted with eachother and we started talking about the dogs..you know, the usual...''nice dog, how old is he/she, name?'' and that was about it. She was really friendly and it was a nice talk but it could have been so much more. I've always sucked at this and i hope i can improve with this aspect of life. No problem starting a conversation with a lady but keeping the conversation going is what i am bad at, soon i run out of things to talk and if she does too...that's about it. My problem is that afterwards i start to think about it a little and all these ideas for conversation topics come to mind...things like...''hey i recently moved here, so i am new here. What's your opinion on this neighborhood? Nice weather huh? This is a great park isn't it?'' especially the first subject in my opinion is most likely to spark a longer conversation but i hate it that i always think of these things when the person has already left.

 

I could use some advice on how to improve on this or you know, interesting subjects to talk about. And it won't necessarily be only for this lady but just women in general.

[Offspring]

I think if you want to meet someone in an environment like a park, it's important to take a gradual approach. Eg, one comment per time you see them, or it may come across as creepy. Remember, dating is not at the front of their minds, as they are there to walk their dogs, but having said that, people meet in all sorts of situations, and i'd play a bit of push-pull if i were you: friendly, acknowledge one time, act aloof the next. You've got to give them room to become interested in you.

 

Getting to know somebody in a dating atmosphere is completely different. (I read on another thread), if you are interested in getting to know someone: " hey, there is this great Italian restaurant around the corner, would you like to join me there for a meal on Thursday night?".

 

I'm no expert on conversational skills (hey, i know it seems that way! Joke.), but a few opening questions like how's your day been, what did you get up to on weekend? What do you think of (insert idea here) XXX issue?

[Bialy]

I think meeting new people casually in a dog park setting is a cool idea. Especially since you're new to the neighborhood.

 

If someone stops by to greet your dog -- after the usual "How old is she/what's her name" questions, you can ask/say things like:

 

"I just moved to the area recently from XYZ and so far my dog is loving it..."

 

"Are there any good trails nearby for dog walking? I'm new to the area."

 

Mention the weather or something you saw recently in the neighborhood.

 

Anything about the neighborhood is always a good conversation starter.

[salparadise]

Don't talk about the weather! That's the lamest topic imaginable unless you're in the middle of a hurricane or something.

 

Ask her how she feels... about any number of things. Restaurants, veterinarians, fruit stands, anything having to do with lifestyle choices. Look for clues as to what she may be interested in (what's printed on her t-shirt, bumper sticker, etc.) and try to cross the line from mundane minutiae to things that matter to her. When you figure that out ask open-ended questions and let her do three-fourths of the talking.

[Bialy]

OK, you're right!!! Weather is lame. I guess it depends on HOW he discusses it. Like if he were to say, "It's a shame it rained so much yesterday - I had plans to go to some-such place to listen to music or grab a bite to eat."

 

Then that might lead her to say, "Nice. I've been there before. The food is good." Stuff like that.

[Offspring]

If someone stops by to greet your dog -- after the usual "How old is she/what's her name" questions, you can ask/say things like:

 

"I just moved to the area recently from XYZ and so far my dog is loving it..."

 

"Are there any good trails nearby for dog walking? I'm new to the area.

 

Good idea.

[quankanne]

my friend from Kentucky has a joke about the difference between Southerner and Yankee conversation styles: Yankees are very direct, "just the facts, ma'am," while Southerners start off just about every conversation with "how's your mama and them?"

 

but there's a bit of truth to it ... if you want to engage someone in conversation, ask/comment on things you find interesting. If her dog has a cute shirt or collar on, let her know you like it ... which leads to asking where she found it, whether or not it's hard to buy stuff for your dog if it's not the "season" (something I thought was strange ... I can never find shirts for mine unless it's summer or spring, but sometimes, I just want a lightweight T-shirt so that she'll be lightly protected in what passes for wintertime in Texas ... see how that plays into weather? *wink*)

 

ask her about places she's found where both she and pup enjoy walking, and compare notes -- good suggestions are never a bad idea -- you can ask about low cost shot clinics (cheaper than taking them in to see the vet, that's for sure), if she's having to be more cautious about being around water outside because of worry from Zika virus, etc.

 

really, anything can be used as a conversation starter ... the trick is to have a few questions in mind (stuff you're curious about) so that conversation flows. However, as a journalist, this stuff comes somewhat easily, because I'm like a nice, but somewhat nosy relative ...

 

good luck, and don't get bummed out if it takes awhile to get the hang of the art of conversation

[NTV]

alot of it just learned by trial and error. what is too strong, what is too weak, where is the middle ground.

 

 

but if you just moved there, I'd suggest looking to meet friends first, and relationship companions second. maybe a meetup?

[JDPT]

what I normally do is I transition into things very quickly to stimulate their brain.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Or maybe they can be called communicative skills.

 

 

So i recently moved to a new neighborhood and they have this great big park where i walk with my dog, multiple times a day. I also come across plenty of women and i always great them, i am a friendly guy, haha. So last sunday i was sitting on the bench and my dog was sniffing around and this rather nice looking young lady walks past me and stops and lets her dog and my dog become acquainted with eachother and we started talking about the dogs..you know, the usual...''nice dog, how old is he/she, name?'' and that was about it. She was really friendly and it was a nice talk but it could have been so much more. I've always sucked at this and i hope i can improve with this aspect of life. No problem starting a conversation with a lady but keeping the conversation going is what i am bad at, soon i run out of things to talk and if she does too...that's about it. My problem is that afterwards i start to think about it a little and all these ideas for conversation topics come to mind...things like...''hey i recently moved here, so i am new here. What's your opinion on this neighborhood? Nice weather huh? This is a great park isn't it?'' especially the first subject in my opinion is most likely to spark a longer conversation but i hate it that i always think of these things when the person has already left.

 

I could use some advice on how to improve on this or you know, interesting subjects to talk about. And it won't necessarily be only for this lady but just women in general.

 

If there's anything I've noticed for a while is that a man's social skills and conversation skills impact his ability to get dates and form relationships with women and get laid more than the other way around

[basil67]

Don't forget that conversation is a two way street. If both are interested in talking, then both should hold up the conversation. If she's not holding up her end, then there's no interest.