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Are some people better off while single?


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I was wondering if there's any "scientific" proof of certain kinds of people being better off while single, as opposed to in a relationship?

 

I ask because I feel I am like that. When I am in a relationship I lose myself in my partner and when I am single, I feel alive and empowered! I value my independence above anything else. I realize being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you lose it, but it seems in my experience, I have... I don't feel as "free" as when I am single.

 

Is it just something that can be resolved with therapy/maturing or is it an actual state of mind?

 

What do you guys think?

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I always feel empowered when single. I've only had one relationship where I didn't feel like part of a homogenised mass.

 

This may have been down to myself not setting adequate boundaries.

 

I felt I'd lost something of myself within the relationship.

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Maybe!

 

A good relationship will give you a balance - the ability to be an individual, but to also appreciate the support, love, and fun that comes with a solid relationship. :)

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I'm a fan of the concept "getting to know yourself before getting a relationship"

 

Too many people in our society today are afraid of being alone. There is a lot of social pressure on people (like myself) that decide to remain single for a while. They are regarded as "weird."

 

Nevertheless, I feel comfortable, I am happy and I grow as a person a lot at this moment....whereas when I would have a relationship, I would not be able to spend as much time on myself as I do now.

 

I can totally get some people deciding to be alone forever as well, and truly believe that it's a flaw in society to pressure everyone into (at least thinking) that one should thrive through a relationship at all times.

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I don't know. Maybe. I have been single my whole life and, sometimes I do want to try and be in a relationship. But I guess my independence and individuality has already rooted itself in my mind and heart. Not to mention my on-going trust issues and severe cynical views in terms of relationships.

 

Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes.

Do I want to be engulfed on that blissful feeling? Yes, but I am scared. LOL.

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I said this before as well. IMO some of us are meant to be single. I am one of them. It it what it is. Take time and dont rush it. Me, I am done.

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thecrucible

I think that it is more natural for people to pair up. I don't judge people who aren't. I'm single myself. If I feel trapped in a relationship, it's not the right one. I'm still hoping to find that true authentic relationship which won't be perfect but will feel pretty awesome.

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I understand where you're coming from. I also feel more alive when I'm single, but it's not always a good thing. The highs are really high and the lows are really low. I feel like I'm flatlining when I'm in a relationship, like the sense of stability bores me. I chalk it up to just not finding the right person yet but who knows.

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I stayed single deliberately for a number of years while I worked on myself. I feel happier when I am in a relationship, but I enjoyed my time alone. I still give myself lots of alone time. My partner knew that about me from the very start, and he respects that.

 

So yeah, I think some people are better off single, whether it is temporary or long-term. It depends on the person and the situation. It is better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship, that's for sure.

Edited by SpiralOut
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I think the 'downsides' you mention can be avoided with a compatible partner and making sure to take personal time to enjoy hobbies and friends outside the relationship.

 

I've never truly experienced the downsides you mention, but one downside I HAVE experienced is geographical restriction. If you're single, you can live pretty much... anywhere. In a R, unless you want it to be an indefinite LDR, you need to try to live and work in the same place. Of course, I find the upsides of being in a happy LTR to be MORE than worth that tradeoff (which is why I'm in one). But it's the only downside I've never managed to truly find an answer to.

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