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Feeling guilty for going to med school.


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Old 22nd April 2016, 11:42 PM   #1
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Feeling guilty for going to med school.

Hi all

I am having a huge dilemma which is causing me to have panic attacks. I am moving away from my small town to a big city for med school. It's a 5 hour plane ride

I am moving in 7 days. I am feeling absolutely guilty because I will be leaving my parents and my dog behind. I am nervous and so torn. I am second guessing if this is the right choice. If there's one thing I've learned from working in healthcare it's that time is very precious. But I also understand that I have to live my own life.

My parents and dog are both getting older and I just feel so guilty leaving them behind. I know med school will take a lot of me both physically and mentally. I told them that I will try my best to call them over the weekends time pending.

Can I get some advice? Words of wisdom? Anything?

Thanks
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Old 22nd April 2016, 11:51 PM   #2
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Congrats on getting into med school!

How old are your parents, btw?
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Old 23rd April 2016, 12:09 AM   #3
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Congrats on getting into med school!

How old are your parents, btw?
Thank you.

My parents are both 52. My dog is 7
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Old 23rd April 2016, 12:19 AM   #4
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Please, your parents are far from old, and your dog has a lot of years left in him too. And they will be so proud of you going to college for such a career. I understand that you'll be far away but it's not a life sentence, right?

It is a big change for you and it's understandable that you're ambivilant about it. But I hope that you'll be able to see what privilege and adventure this is for you.

So, if you decide to back out of this career path, what else would you prefer to do?
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Old 23rd April 2016, 1:40 AM   #5
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Don't feel guilty about your parents , I am sure they are proud of you. Some anxiety about med school is expected, but just know every other student feels the same way. You will adjust. It will be hard and challenging but 4yrs will fly by. You can look into doing away electives and rotations during your clinical years closer to your parents if you need to. You can look into residencies closer to your parents when the time comes. It's a great opportunity. You'll do just fine.
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Old 23rd April 2016, 1:59 AM   #6
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Your parents are 52? I thought you were going to say that they were 85! As someone who has many friends in that age bracket I find it disconcerting that young people think we're getting old.

I'm 48 and my hubby is 54. We wouldn't be at all concerned if she moved away to pursue her dreams. While we would certainly miss her, most of all we'd be proud as punch that she's giving life a red hot go.

I bet your folks are dead proud of you too. They will be even more proud when you have your chosen career.
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Old 23rd April 2016, 2:03 AM   #7
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EXCUSE ME - ?! I'm in my late 50's and I do not in any way shape or form consider myself as 'getting old' - not yet! Gimme another 20 years or so, and I might change my mind! A Bit!

My mother - who lives less than a mile from where I am - is 84. She has a part-time voluntary job working in a local Historical Gallery, and still practises Reflexology on folks for a modicum of pocket money.
I repeat, she's 84.
I help her with some stuff, but believe me, she's peppy, vibrant and independent.

All being well, your parents have at least another 25 years before they'd be in any need of your constant and diligent presence - and by then, you'll have been fully qualified for a number of years, and in a far better position to provide the necessary support.

People are living longer and healthier lives, more than ever before.

Have you voiced this concern to your parents? I hate to tell you, but it might cause them some amusement!
Hell, why the heck do you think they put you through an education? To be independent and successful!

As for your dog, it should have at least another few years to enjoy bouncing around...

I think your worries are actually more to do with how YOU will cope on your own, without them.

They're going to be just fine.
I think it's YOU you're worried about.
And if you're going to Med school, you need to examine your anxiety, its origin and deal with that head-on.
Nobody wants an anxiety-ridden medical student....

You're going to have plenty to do, and lots to occupy your mind, without carrying this excess burden.....
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Old 24th April 2016, 10:11 AM   #8
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Your parents are THRILLED. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about.


You are scared. A 7 hour plane ride is far. But it's not unsurmountable.


Med school is 4 years, not forever. You will see & talk to your family again.


Best wishes on your next adventure.
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Old 24th April 2016, 12:17 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pacman View Post
Hi all

I am having a huge dilemma which is causing me to have panic attacks. I am moving away from my small town to a big city for med school. It's a 5 hour plane ride

I am moving in 7 days. I am feeling absolutely guilty because I will be leaving my parents and my dog behind. I am nervous and so torn. I am second guessing if this is the right choice. If there's one thing I've learned from working in healthcare it's that time is very precious. But I also understand that I have to live my own life.

My parents and dog are both getting older and I just feel so guilty leaving them behind. I know med school will take a lot of me both physically and mentally. I told them that I will try my best to call them over the weekends time pending.

Can I get some advice? Words of wisdom? Anything?

Thanks
This is your life to live and I'm sure your parents are so proud of you for going to Med school, let alone seeing you thrive and leave the nest. Don't feel guilty, they must understand that the cord needs to be cut and allow you to live your life.

Don't forget, your parents have each other and also friends and possibly other family members so it's not like they will be hermits once you move.
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Old 24th April 2016, 12:19 PM   #10
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Thank you.

My parents are both 52. My dog is 7
Your folks are young! Hate to say it, sure they will miss you but this gives them the chance to be on their own and have 'alone' time and do things like travel etc.

Your guilt is unnecessary so please don't worry about them. As for your dog, he/she will be there when you visit.
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Old 24th April 2016, 5:49 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by bathtub-row View Post
Please, your parents are far from old, and your dog has a lot of years left in him too. And they will be so proud of you going to college for such a career. I understand that you'll be far away but it's not a life sentence, right?

It is a big change for you and it's understandable that you're ambivilant about it. But I hope that you'll be able to see what privilege and adventure this is for you.

So, if you decide to back out of this career path, what else would you prefer to do?
Thank you. That's the thing. If I decide to back out of this career, the only other thing I can see myself doing is doing vet school. But this will take another year for applications.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noluck View Post
Don't feel guilty about your parents , I am sure they are proud of you. Some anxiety about med school is expected, but just know every other student feels the same way. You will adjust. It will be hard and challenging but 4yrs will fly by. You can look into doing away electives and rotations during your clinical years closer to your parents if you need to. You can look into residencies closer to your parents when the time comes. It's a great opportunity. You'll do just fine.
Thank you. I did think about rotations and how I can try and doing them closer to home

Quote:
Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Your parents are 52? I thought you were going to say that they were 85! As someone who has many friends in that age bracket I find it disconcerting that young people think we're getting old.

I'm 48 and my hubby is 54. We wouldn't be at all concerned if she moved away to pursue her dreams. While we would certainly miss her, most of all we'd be proud as punch that she's giving life a red hot go.

I bet your folks are dead proud of you too. They will be even more proud when you have your chosen career.
I didn't mean old. But they are getting older. One thing that scared me was when I went over to my child hood friends house to hang out. To see how his parents aged really scared me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Your parents are THRILLED. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about.


You are scared. A 7 hour plane ride is far. But it's not unsurmountable.


Med school is 4 years, not forever. You will see & talk to your family again.


Best wishes on your next adventure.
Thank you. Med school is 4 years, then residency is another 3 years. Those 3 years I will not be able to visit my family/dog as much as I want to, if at all

Thank you all for the replies. I will get back to the others in a bit. I want to say that it's been helpful. I know my parents are proud of me but I also know how in an instance someones health can deteriorate.

I must say typing out my feelings has helped a lot. Loveshack has been helpng me since I was 16 years old dealing with high school relationships haha! Look at my problems now
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Old 28th April 2016, 3:05 AM   #12
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Please, your work hard to get there. Don't give up on your dreams now.
I understand your feelings, I hope your parents will be alright. you will figure a way to be together whenever possible. Do not panic, nothing in your control, but you have to hope for the best.

Of course you feel guilty, but think about the time you will get enough money to buy them a nice vacation house for when they get 60 or 70

you can visit them over summer.


if you didn't follow your dreams now, you will resent them later

once you find a good place, you can bring the dog
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Old 25th June 2016, 10:10 PM   #13
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OP, did you make it to med school in the big city? Best wishes.
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