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Depression and anxiety ? too scared to go to doctor


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Over the last 2 and a half years ive been feeling different. My problems all started coming to the surface when I spent a year as an aupair abroad. The family didnt really treat me well and would give me a lot of guilt. I began to selfharm then. It was a way of not feeling the pain emotionally. I havnt self harmed in 1 and a half years now. Since I left the aupair job things got better.

 

I must add I have been pretty much a shy person all my life, but can open up to people i am close to. I find a lot of the time i stress over simple little things, like speaking to people or even birthdays and how messy the household is.

 

Recently Ive been feeling down. My life is pretty perfect and I dont really understand why I cant be happy. I find it very hard to motivate myself to do things. Even simple things, like taking out the trash or doing the dishes. I often come home from work and just sleep, because I cant make myself do anything else, even something fun , like read a book or playing a game.

 

Im doing an apprentiship at the moment, and even though I like the job, I think it stresses me out a bit too much. I constantly worry about it and find it hard waking up in the morning to go to work. Its like I physically dont want to go.

 

Also I have so far had 2 panic attacks in my life and tend to get emotional very quickly about little things.

 

I dont know if I have depression or anxiety , but I certainly dont feel okay. If anybody could tell me what I should do or have any advice to make things better , that would be great.

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Yep, you sure sound like you've got anxiety at least, perhaps also depression as well.

 

This is highly treatable. Do you have a doctor? Start there. Tell them what's been going on. Some will want to just throw medication at you, but if I were you, I wouldn't start there. See about getting a therapist or counselor. Talk therapy can be very beneficial, and they can tell you if they think it'd be a good idea for you to see a psychiatrist and be put on medication.

 

Just know, this is a very common but very real problem. You don't have to suffer, but in order to get better, you're gonna have to let people in, even if they're just mental health professionals.

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Over the last 2 and a half years ive been feeling different. My problems all started coming to the surface when I spent a year as an aupair abroad. The family didnt really treat me well and would give me a lot of guilt. I began to selfharm then. It was a way of not feeling the pain emotionally. I havnt self harmed in 1 and a half years now. Since I left the aupair job things got better.

 

I must add I have been pretty much a shy person all my life, but can open up to people i am close to. I find a lot of the time i stress over simple little things, like speaking to people or even birthdays and how messy the household is.

 

Recently Ive been feeling down. My life is pretty perfect and I dont really understand why I cant be happy. I find it very hard to motivate myself to do things. Even simple things, like taking out the trash or doing the dishes. I often come home from work and just sleep, because I cant make myself do anything else, even something fun , like read a book or playing a game.

 

Im doing an apprentiship at the moment, and even though I like the job, I think it stresses me out a bit too much. I constantly worry about it and find it hard waking up in the morning to go to work. Its like I physically dont want to go.

 

Also I have so far had 2 panic attacks in my life and tend to get emotional very quickly about little things.

 

I dont know if I have depression or anxiety , but I certainly dont feel okay. If anybody could tell me what I should do or have any advice to make things better , that would be great.

 

Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. I find it interesting that you were self-harming while you were an au pair. That is an extreme reaction to the situation. People who self-harm are dealing with some significant internal chaos. It sounds to me that you were triggered by something in that experience.

 

Without knowing your history, I am suspecting some possibilities but I would not ask you to delve into those things on the boards.

 

What is clear is that you are struggling with something(s). You need to learn some self-soothing techniques at least. If you can afford it, make an appointment with a CBT (cognitive behaviorial therapy) therapist. A good therapist can give you those kinds of tools early for management of symptoms until they/you can get into the nitty gritty and prescribe appropriate medications if necessary.

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What you are experiencing is not a rare or unusual problem.

 

One out of every five doctor visits are about anxiety, depression, or stress.

 

If you go to your doctor, the only thing on their mind is the desire to help you.

 

They won't make you take drugs against your will, and they won't tell you that you're nuts.

 

They spend all day, every day, trying to help people.

 

Reach out.

 

Life can be better.

Edited by Satu
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You probably have melancholic depression co-morbid with anxiety. I can tell you this, if you just try and push through it on your own you will probably end up with panic disorder which can be rapid onset and severe enough to stop you from attending work. This is what happened to me and here's my experience of it.

 

Seeing a Dr about the depression was just about the most useless thing I ever did. All it did was give me a prescription for anti-depressants which did nothing to help my condition whatsoever. I started anti-depressants about 6 months before the onset of full blown panic disorder. So you can see how effective that was.

 

When I got panic disorder (it suddenly started up without warning or any real triggers within the space of a week or two). I was presenting to the ER enough times in a month that they had to refer me onto a mental health unit. I was given free of charge therapy for panic disorder by a qualified mental health nurse. She stepped me through a recognised therapy based loosely on CBT, called Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. That did me the world of good. ;) Without that I would never have been able to return to work. You can check out Acceptance & Commitment Therapy by reading The Happiness Trap which is a step by step program in it.

 

The apathy to life is depression. The constant negative thoughts and disaster thinking is anxiety. Together they are just about the worst friends you could have. Get a handle on it now before it blows up in your face. This isn't going to resolve itself or go away and you are pretty much exactly where I was right before I got panic disorder which caused me to take 3 months off work because I could barely leave my house without going into a state of panic.

 

Personally I found meds to be unhelpful, other people have different experiences with those. Best to try them first before discarding the idea. Don't expect a GP to accurately diagnose you or offer you anything more useful than a prescription. You need a mental health professional.

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First off, get a full physical done including blood work. Vitamins and mineras that are low levels can bring on anxiety. Also it can be hormonal, what kind of foods you eat, do you drink enough water etc. Stress and environmental reasons too can bring anxiety on.

 

My suggestion is exercise, which includes brisk walking and yoga. Learn how to deep breathe and take 20 minutes to just sit and be mindful. (you tube has great guided meditations)

 

Read up on anxiety, buy books (been there, done that, try this by sam obitz) and look into counseling. CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) is a great type of therapy to help you learn and control what anxiety you have and face it head on, learn how to cope with it in a healthy way.

 

Talk about it with your friends and family so they are aware of what you are going through and can be there for support.

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