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What do you do when you feel bad about being single?


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My day was going fine, until I saw couples out in public...and it made me want to go on a dating site to find causal sex.

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ColdandLonelyinAK

Don't feel bad. Being single can be really fun! I had forgotten how great it can be to get all dressed up in your newest outfit, put your heels on, go out and get your flirt on.

 

Being single has also given me the willpower to go back and finish my degree. I guarantee I wouldn't have wanted to do it if I were still being weighed down by my ex. It's all about discovering YOU again.

 

Hang in there. :)

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I make a cup of tea or pour a glass of wine, put my slippers on and give my kids a cuddle. Still feel lonely but you've got to make the best of it.

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Clarence_Boddicker

Realize that for most people casual sex is unfulfilling.

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sportygirl89

Get busy! I've been single for two years. I'd rather be single and independent then the few needy girls who always have to be in a relationship. I'm taking summer classes now. Also trying my best to lose some weight and go to gym 2x a day. Find hobbies and hang out with friends.

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As for me, when I feel bad about being single, I read a good book. And... I'm not lonely anymore :). Because I start living in the world of this book with its heroes :). By the end of the book, my feeling bad about being single is usually gone. Of course, it is not a constructive approach. To be constructive, you'd better find your next great love on a dating site, just as aloneinaz said.

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My day was going fine, until I saw couples out in public...and it made me want to go on a dating site to find causal sex.

My solution, historically, was embracing the positives of being single and choosing to surround myself with couples as friends and live life. The couples had their joys and I had mine; perhaps the joys were different, as were the challenges, but we all have our own path in life.

 

Back when I was young, heh, this weekend was the annual Memorial Day party at my place and I'd get the pool heated up and the patio set up and have 20-30 people over for a swim party and BBQ and all of them were married people and most had children. In the early days, back before I started pot luck, there was only one other single person at the parties, actually widowed, my mom, who helped with the cooking.

 

That's what I did when single, along with sports, travel, volunteer work and immersion in business pursuits. There's always something to do. I do remember a couple years in my 30's where I was a depressed and social interactions had waned so I trained as a docent as a local zoo and dealt with the depression by doing something to take my mind off of it.

 

Your solutions will be your own.

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SycamoreCircle

I sleep. Just try to ease my mind. I usually wake up thinking about something else.

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My day was going fine, until I saw couples out in public...and it made me want to go on a dating site to find causal sex.

i'm proud of being single. i know a few married men who would love to be in my position

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When I was single I dealt with it by exercising like crazy. I did several races last year and biked over 1000 km that summer. Also I did tons of gardening, which filled up my spare time and relieved stress. Then, I wanted to get back into reading so I joined a book club and went to that each week and read several books a month. I looked at the relationships I did have with family and friends and worked on improving those. I did a bit of online dating too. After my last horrific relationship, I was very picky, so I focused on my hobbies and treated the online dating as a "why the hell not" sort of thing. Most of the dates didn't work out but I saw it as good practice.

 

 

Being single is a great opportunity to work on things that you may not have the time or energy for when you're in a relationship.

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My day was going fine, until I saw couples out in public...and it made me want to go on a dating site to find causal sex.

 

Well you could join a dating site and find some casual sex :)

 

It doesn't bother me seeing couples personally. A lot of times it actually makes me glad to be single, especially if they are having an argument about who caused the baby to start crying or something similar.

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Michelle ma Belle

Those are conflicting statements I think.

 

Do you want a relationship that forfeits your singlehood or do you want casual sex and random hookups?

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Hopeful714

What do I do? I think of all the people (and there are many) who are in horrible abusive, drama filled, unsatisfying relationships and thank my lucky stars that I remained single.

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scooby-philly

@joseb - hilarious - when I was single I never thought about that but if I find myself single ever again I'll try and remember that (watching people argue and being glad I'm single)

 

I used to be jealous when I was in my 20's as I didn't date a lot and was socially awkward and very self-conscious and shamed. Now, I don't think it would bother me. However, to your point - you need to find out what works for you - that's why would should enjoy being single. Try something else every time you feel bad - cook, sleep, read, travel, exercise, party, learn, etc. This is the time to get to know you for a damn change. If you find yourself doing something repeatedly then you've found something that can be a cornerstone for you moving forward.

 

And quite honestly - there's nothing wrong with casual sex. We act so moral and so superior - but we're animals too. As long as your safe and also clear and they are as well. I wouldn't focus on it, but allow it to happen so to speak.

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erm...for any situation you don't like, figure out how to change it. if you can't live with it and embrace it...the late great Maya Angelou had a point.

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Cameron2000

You gotta take the bad with the good with any path in life. Being single means you don't get some of the benefits that married people have. Being married means you don't get some of the benefits that single people have. Unfortunately we can't have our cake and eat it too. Life doesn't work that way.

 

What do I do when I feel lonely sometimes as a single man? Simple. I watch an episode or two of divorce court and I feel better. When I see what some folks go through in divorce court it makes me appreciate the position I am in today. I don't have to worry about any alimony or child support payments. I appreciate having no financial obligations to anybody whatsoever. I have more financial freedom. That means more options on what to do with my money.

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