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Feeling like this is all there is...


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I'm 26. I've only worked one job my entire life, a part time retail thing. Hoped originally that it would be a thing to do for a couple years while I worked through college, but it's going on seven years, now. Worse yet, I've been stuck being a cashier for most of it. I've brought it up numerous times over the years that I wanted to do more things and be more than that. But they never care. They don't let me do anything, and they keep hiring people and letting them do the things I want to do, despite them having less experience than me.

 

I finished school last spring, but finding an entry level position has been impossible, and I don't feel ready to relocate right now to look for jobs elsewhere.

 

I'm feeling super bummed because today, I overheard one of the managers talking about how they're looking to hire some new people to, once again, do the things I want to do. And I'm just hitting a point where I don't know how much more I can take.

 

I just want to quit my job. But I have nothing lined up. I don't even know what else I could do, aside for more retail, and not only do I detest retail, but I just don't want to get stuck in another situation like I'm in now.

 

And I'm starting to feel like this is all there is for me. That I'm just destined to be a cashier for the rest of my life...

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What was your major in school?

 

Video production. Honestly, I really don't have an interest or an affinity for anything else. Took me years just to find that one thing I feel like I can do well.

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ThaWholigan
Video production. Honestly, I really don't have an interest or an affinity for anything else. Took me years just to find that one thing I feel like I can do well.

Then do it. Take steps to do it. If you're afraid of failing, don't worry about that. The path we fear to travel leads to the treasures we seek the most. But don't tell yourself you'll always be a cashier. You can craft a life for yourself if you change the story you tell yourself. Try it - I always see you say the same things about yourself in every thread you post in. Instead of dwelling, try focusing on what you want ;)

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I just want to quit my job. But I have nothing lined up. I don't even know what else I could do, aside for more retail, and not only do I detest retail, but I just don't want to get stuck in another situation like I'm in now.

 

I think you should quit this job. For whatever reason, the people there do not want you to advance; it's time to go somewhere else where there is potential to advance, even if it is another retail job. You've wasted far too much time there. You should be able to find another retail job fairly quickly given your experience. Although it isn't ideal or your dream job, it is an income, which you need. Frankly, you should be working full time now also, not a part time job.

 

If you aren't willing to relocate to find a job in your field, you may be stuck working a retail job, or any other job you can get. (Assuming you have exhausted all entry level video production jobs within an hour of your location.) If you don't want to do retail, do something else. There are loads of different types of jobs out there and you obviously have access to the Internet.

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Then do it. Take steps to do it. If you're afraid of failing, don't worry about that. The path we fear to travel leads to the treasures we seek the most. But don't tell yourself you'll always be a cashier. You can craft a life for yourself if you change the story you tell yourself. Try it - I always see you say the same things about yourself in every thread you post in. Instead of dwelling, try focusing on what you want ;)

 

Well yes, I want to do that for a living. But I just feel like I've hit a wall. I was feeling so good when I finally figured out what I wanted to do and focused my education, but now, after having graduated, I just feel like I've hit a wall. I don't know what the next step is, I don't know how to get started with a proper career that I can make a living off of. I've spent the last 8-9 months looking for and applying to any positions I could find, and I've not even been able to secure an interview somewhere. I just feel like I'm going nowhere.

 

I think you should quit this job. For whatever reason, the people there do not want you to advance; it's time to go somewhere else where there is potential to advance, even if it is another retail job. You've wasted far too much time there. You should be able to find another retail job fairly quickly given your experience. Although it isn't ideal or your dream job, it is an income, which you need. Frankly, you should be working full time now also, not a part time job.

 

If you aren't willing to relocate to find a job in your field, you may be stuck working a retail job, or any other job you can get. (Assuming you have exhausted all entry level video production jobs within an hour of your location.) If you don't want to do retail, do something else. There are loads of different types of jobs out there and you obviously have access to the Internet.

 

Yes, I just... don't know what I could do. There's really no other jobs I feel I have an affinity towards or would be any good at, there's no other career types that I have an interest in.

 

I really don't want to be a retail "lifer". Not only am I super frustrated with where I'm at, specifically, but I just hate doing it, period. It's worn me down too much over the years, dealing with customers, and whatnot. I'd prefer to be working full time, but I don't think I have the energy in me to do retail full time, especially if it means being a full time cashier.

 

I realize most people don't "like" their jobs, and it's probably unrealistic for me to ever have a career I enjoy doing (aka, video production), but I just wish I could do something that I feel good about, something I take some personal pride in, something I feel I have the skills for. As much as I wish otherwise, though, it seems like I'm just not cut out for much of anything...

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ThaWholigan
Well yes, I want to do that for a living. But I just feel like I've hit a wall. I was feeling so good when I finally figured out what I wanted to do and focused my education, but now, after having graduated, I just feel like I've hit a wall. I don't know what the next step is, I don't know how to get started with a proper career that I can make a living off of. I've spent the last 8-9 months looking for and applying to any positions I could find, and I've not even been able to secure an interview somewhere. I just feel like I'm going nowhere.

 

No man, this is what I'm talking about. Whenever I've posted to you or anyone posts any suggestions to you, this is what you say. You're telling yourself you're going nowhere. Maybe it's depression, if it is you should probably get that examined.

 

I'm guessing your mother is part of the problem here, but you're a grown man now so you don't have to listen to her. Do what you need to do for yourself. I remember you saying you like video editing and didn't know how to get into it. Also remember you saying you struggle with people in general because you're not into the social thing. The latter - you might have to tackle that if you want to succeed at what you wanna do (networking is important). I'm guessing if you have a specific purpose for talking to people you will be more motivated.

 

So you edit videos. Multimedia. Can you build a portfolio for yourself? Youtube is a wonderful thing, you can put your projects there and sell yourself online. There are always options, even if you feel like everything is going nowhere. As long as you keep looking and don't be afraid to try something outside of the box - what do you have to lose at this point?

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So you edit videos. Multimedia. Can you build a portfolio for yourself? Youtube is a wonderful thing, you can put your projects there and sell yourself online. There are always options, even if you feel like everything is going nowhere. As long as you keep looking and don't be afraid to try something outside of the box - what do you have to lose at this point?

 

The thing is, I don't really have a way to do anything. I don't actually own a video camera (nor do I have the money to really afford one), and even if I did, I'm not much of an "idea" person to be able to come up with stuff to shoot and put together. I have somewhat of a "portfolio" online from the projects I worked on during school, but those were more directed. With those, it was "Go make this", and whatnot. There were specific goals of the school projects. But just on my own, I don't have any idea of stuff to make.

 

I've tried doing some videos of stuff that pertain to my interests, just for the sake of doing stuff, but it never really works out. For example, for a while, I was doing gaming videos; but those are kind of a dime a dozen, these days, and I could never get people actually watching my videos. I'm currently trying to get an original animated project off the ground, but it's taking a ton of work, and I honestly don't see it paying off for me one way or another, so that kills my motivation to chip away at the busy work behind it.

 

But other than that, I just really don't know what I could be doing.

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If that company doesn't value you, and doesn't want to invest in you, you will have to leave.

 

The only question is when.

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CrystalShine2011

Honestly, I know where you are at! My advice would be to search on job listing sites, get out there, update your resume! :)

 

There are MANY places hiring right now.

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Honestly, I know where you are at! My advice would be to search on job listing sites, get out there, update your resume! :)

 

There are MANY places hiring right now.

 

Perhaps, but when the only interest and affinity I have is for a very niche job category, what options do I really have? I'm not good/ skilled at anything aside from that, I don't have an affinity for anything aside from that.

 

The only "easy" jobs to get are retail/ service jobs, but that just puts me in the same situation but at a different location. What benefit is there to me quitting my current job, being without an income for an indefinite amount of time, only to find a job at a different retail/ service location, and become miserable all over again for the same reasons?

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Perhaps, but when the only interest and affinity I have is for a very niche job category, what options do I really have? I'm not good/ skilled at anything aside from that, I don't have an affinity for anything aside from that.

 

Well, it's time to be an adult. You may have to take a job you don't love. You may have to try out other jobs. How do you know you don't have an affinity for anything else and will hate everything else unless you try? I mean, you're already miserable. How much worse can it really be?

 

Again, this feels like more excuses from you. If you want to go into video production, then apply for video production jobs or even other entry level jobs in that field to get your foot in the door. If you have to move, then move. A lot of people move for jobs.

 

The only "easy" jobs to get are retail/ service jobs, but that just puts me in the same situation but at a different location.

 

But it may not be the same situation. You will be in a different environment, with different coworkers. Your bosses there may be open to you moving up. It could be an entirely different experience.

 

What benefit is there to me quitting my current job, being without an income for an indefinite amount of time, only to find a job at a different retail/ service location, and become miserable all over again for the same reasons?

 

You don't quit your current job until you have another job lined up. That way there is no break in income.

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Well, it's time to be an adult. You may have to take a job you don't love. You may have to try out other jobs. How do you know you don't have an affinity for anything else and will hate everything else unless you try? I mean, you're already miserable. How much worse can it really be?

 

I understand that jobs aren't necessarily something you're meant to "love". My concern is simply that I don't have either the skills or the personality to really do anything. How can I expect to find any kind of job when I bring nothing to the table? I don't even know how to properly "sell" myself to anyone.

 

What if I manage to find a job doing whatever, end up not being good at it, and getting fired? Then I'm out of a job, with no real leads, and nowhere to go.

 

Those are the concerns I have. Like I said, I get that it's naive and unrealistic to expect to ever "like" what you do for a living, but I'm less concerned about that and more concerned with the fact that I'm just not really good at anything.

 

Again, this feels like more excuses from you. If you want to go into video production, then apply for video production jobs or even other entry level jobs in that field to get your foot in the door. If you have to move, then move. A lot of people move for jobs.

 

Well, that's what I have been doing for the last eight or nine months, is looking for and applying to any job opportunities I can find in that general field. I haven't even been able to get an interview anywhere, at this point.

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ThaWholigan
I understand that jobs aren't necessarily something you're meant to "love". My concern is simply that I don't have either the skills or the personality to really do anything. How can I expect to find any kind of job when I bring nothing to the table? I don't even know how to properly "sell" myself to anyone.

 

What if I manage to find a job doing whatever, end up not being good at it, and getting fired? Then I'm out of a job, with no real leads, and nowhere to go.

 

Those are the concerns I have. Like I said, I get that it's naive and unrealistic to expect to ever "like" what you do for a living, but I'm less concerned about that and more concerned with the fact that I'm just not really good at anything.

 

 

 

Well, that's what I have been doing for the last eight or nine months, is looking for and applying to any job opportunities I can find in that general field. I haven't even been able to get an interview anywhere, at this point.

Doing projects outside of work and having a portfolio would help.

 

If you wanna do that though, as you claim you struggle with creativity, your best bet is tackling your social anxiety and actually doing projects with people. Meet-up with animators or artists, or producers, cameramen, directors etc. Network with people in and around your field. Journalists, youtube bloggers etc.

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I understand that jobs aren't necessarily something you're meant to "love". My concern is simply that I don't have either the skills or the personality to really do anything. How can I expect to find any kind of job when I bring nothing to the table? I don't even know how to properly "sell" myself to anyone.

 

You don't have skills or personality to work a retail or service job? I think you do, since you've been doing that for the past seven years. You just don't want that kind of job. Well, okay fine. Keep working a job you hate.

 

You also have a degree. Have you looked into temp agencies for possible admin work or other entry level work outside of your field? Again, your options are not only service or retail outside of video production.

 

As has been mentioned before, therapy would help you with your self esteem issues.

What if I manage to find a job doing whatever, end up not being good at it, and getting fired? Then I'm out of a job, with no real leads, and nowhere to go.

 

What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow? I mean, anything can happen in life. You seem unwilling to take any kind of risk. If you get fired, you find another job. You need to get out of your comfort zone.

 

Well, that's what I have been doing for the last eight or nine months, is looking for and applying to any job opportunities I can find in that general field. I haven't even been able to get an interview anywhere, at this point.

 

How many jobs have you actually applied for? Have you applied to other entry level jobs in that field that aren't video production?

 

Pick three major cities for video production in your country and expand your job search to those cities and see if you can get an interview. State that you are planning to move to that location.

 

But I know you won't. So, to summarize all of your threads:

 

You don't want to go to therapy.

 

You don't want to quit your current job.

 

You don't want to find a new job unless it's in video production.

 

You don't want to move out of your parents' house.

 

You don't want to move for better job opportunities.

 

You don't want to put together a portfolio.

 

You don't want to figure out a way to buy your own video camera.

 

What are you willing to do to change your life? You post essentially the same threads over and over, get lots of suggestions...and dig for reasons why none of those suggestions are feasible. So, is there anything you are willing to do to try to find some happiness in your life? If you don't change anything you are going to be in this exact same position one year from now. Do you want that?

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If you wanna do that though, as you claim you struggle with creativity, your best bet is tackling your social anxiety and actually doing projects with people. Meet-up with animators or artists, or producers, cameramen, directors etc. Network with people in and around your field. Journalists, youtube bloggers etc.

 

I don't really know what "networking" entails, though. I don't know how to find said people to network with. I don't know how to initiate contact with them. I don't know what to say to them. I don't know how to maintain that "relationship". As far as networking with people online, I don't know how to contact people and get them to actually respond to me and not just ignore me.

 

You don't have skills or personality to work a retail or service job? I think you do, since you've been doing that for the past seven years. You just don't want that kind of job. Well, okay fine. Keep working a job you hate.

 

I wasn't including my current job in that statement. I consider the work I do now to be something that any high school level kid could do. It's a stupidly easy job that takes little to no skill to do, but it also yields little to no "rewards", either.

 

What I'm saying is that I don't have the skill and I'm not competent enough to do something that, well, actually requires skill and competence.

 

How many jobs have you actually applied for? Have you applied to other entry level jobs in that field that aren't video production?

 

I've lost track of how many jobs I've applied to. At the beginning, I was trying to keep track of it, but it got away from me, and I just started applying without making note of it anymore. I've tried to apply to other similar field jobs, yes, but I typically don't feel my skill set matches what the job entails, and I have difficulty tailoring my resume and cover letter to them (and I can't imagine how I'd have a successful interview when I don't really have the skills they're looking for).

 

You don't want to go to therapy.

 

You don't want to quit your current job.

 

You don't want to find a new job unless it's in video production.

 

You don't want to move out of your parents' house.

 

You don't want to move for better job opportunities.

 

You don't want to put together a portfolio.

 

You don't want to figure out a way to buy your own video camera.

 

What are you willing to do to change your life? You post essentially the same threads over and over, get lots of suggestions...and dig for reasons why none of those suggestions are feasible. So, is there anything you are willing to do to try to find some happiness in your life? If you don't change anything you are going to be in this exact same position one year from now. Do you want that?

 

I... don't know. The truth is, all of it just overwhelms me. I can never just break things down bit by bit and simplify things, my mind just runs wild on all the infinite possibilities, and again, it all overwhelms me and makes me retract within myself.

 

Anyway, not ALL of those things you wrote are accurate. I didn't say I don't want another job unless it's video production; that's what I REALLY want to do, but what I said was that I want out of retail/ service, but I have no skills or competence in anything else. I also never said I don't want to put a portfolio together; I DO have something of a "portfolio", it's just made up entirely of things I worked on during school, over a year ago, and I've not had anything to add to it since graduating.

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Anyway, not ALL of those things you wrote are accurate. I didn't say I don't want another job unless it's video production; that's what I REALLY want to do, but what I said was that I want out of retail/ service, but I have no skills or competence in anything else. I also never said I don't want to put a portfolio together; I DO have something of a "portfolio", it's just made up entirely of things I worked on during school, over a year ago, and I've not had anything to add to it since graduating.

 

Okay, so we have a starting point.

 

I don't believe that you have no skills or competence in any other jobs. I mean, really? Come on.

 

And maybe you could take some of The Wholigan's advice regarding your portfolio?

 

Or are you just going to say "I don't know how to do that?" Start with Google....that's a great resource! And Meetup....and other things...have you done any of that? No? You are going to have to interact with others if you want to get out of your shell. Are you willing to do that?

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I don't believe that you have no skills or competence in any other jobs. I mean, really? Come on.

 

I don't, though.

 

And maybe you could take some of The Wholigan's advice regarding your portfolio?

 

Or are you just going to say "I don't know how to do that?" Start with Google....that's a great resource! And Meetup....and other things...have you done any of that?

 

If you're referring to the bit about networking, yes, I understand how important that is. And again, I don't know how to do any of that. I don't feel that's an "excuse", because I'm not purposely going out of my way to avoid doing it. I just legitimately don't know how.

 

Yes, I've done some quick searches here and there on the Internet over the last several months to find people or groups to network with, but it's not really THAT easy to find people/ groups to network with. Again, I don't know WHO to network with, I don't know how to properly initiate contact, I don't know how to maintain regular contact... That's not me "making excuses" and purposely not doing these things, that's me legitimately not having the understanding of how to do these things.

 

You are going to have to interact with others if you want to get out of your shell. Are you willing to do that?

 

I'm not unwilling to interact with others, but in my experience, it never goes well. I don't know what it is. Perhaps I don't know how to "sell" myself well enough, perhaps I'm not interesting or unique enough, but whatever the case may be, I'm very easily forgotten and overlooked. Even when I do "meet" people, I very quickly become the person that just flies right under their radar, the person that they seemingly forget even exists if I'm not around.

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