Preventing hoarding

[SJS]

Have any of you dealt with hoarding personally? (NOT friends or family, but yourself). Other than therapy, do you have any books or websites that have helped you work against hoarding?

 

 

Hoarding has been a problem in my family so the topic itself actually is not new, but over this holiday season, at my husband's urging, I decided to get rid of some old items and noticed a few things that concerned me and I'm afraid of heading down that road. I know the obvious, like put items in their place, don't buy if you don't need, clean up a little every day, etc. TIA.

[d0nnivain]

I fear I could turn into one. My mother developed the problem later in life.

 

 

One of the things that helped me was I rented a big dumpster -- the real ones for construction sites & commercial building etc. Then I filled it up. It was hard & a few times my husband had to say "No. There really is no reason to keep this." But it did work.

 

 

I also try to adopt the philosophy that if you get a new thing, you have to get rid of an old thing. To balance the new clothes I got for Christmas I gave away 2 bags of clothes that no longer fit.

[serial muse]

I'm concerned about it too, a bit (my mother does have this problem, and I can see myself with similar impulses). One friend has done the "buy a thing, get rid of a thing" approach, which seems to work fairly well for her. In my case, my H is a check on any urges I might have to hoarding, since he's pretty draconian about acquiring things and tossing them, and wouldn't let it happen to his house (which I am simultaneously grateful for and resentful of, since I think he goes a bit too far in the opposite direction at times). I suppose the other thing that keeps me in line is the memory of my childhood home, the restrictions we had on guests or parties (out of embarrassment and sheer lack of space), and the ongoing frustration and sadness that it's still going on.

 

I'll have to ponder whether I've ever come across resources I found helpful...to be honest, nothing springs to mind on this. I'm not sure there are that many resources out there; it's a fairly new thing to be recognized as an emotional disorder (probably not even formally recognized). I have seen people relate it to OCD, and suggest that similar therapies might be helpful to people who are hoarders - but now I'm far out of my depth so perhaps someone more knowledgeable can weigh in.

 

Can you share what it was that you noticed about yourself that concerned you? (No need to share if you're uncomfortable, of course!)

[SJS]

Thanks for the replies and suggestions ladies. I like the "buy a thing get rid of thing" idea, and it's doable. My husband sounds like yours too, he can tolerate up to a point and will clean if I don't. I have some areas off limits to him though (closets) and they are horrible...like stacked literally floor to ceiling.

 

 

I know I keep things with the idea that I may need it someday knowing full well that it really won't be used (which is a common hoarder trait). I also tend to keep things just because *fill in the blank*...it was a gift, someone spent money on it so I can't throw it away, I don't want put it in a landfill, I can sell it rather than throw it away. I get too emotionally invested in things and tend to think they have feelings (which is what set this off...I know better, but still get panicky seeing things go). Honestly, if my husband wasn't around I think my house would be in big trouble! lol

[serial muse]

Thanks for the replies and suggestions ladies. I like the "buy a thing get rid of thing" idea, and it's doable. My husband sounds like yours too, he can tolerate up to a point and will clean if I don't. I have some areas off limits to him though (closets) and they are horrible...like stacked literally floor to ceiling.

 

 

I know I keep things with the idea that I may need it someday knowing full well that it really won't be used (which is a common hoarder trait). I also tend to keep things just because *fill in the blank*...it was a gift, someone spent money on it so I can't throw it away, I don't want put it in a landfill, I can sell it rather than throw it away. I get too emotionally invested in things and tend to think they have feelings (which is what set this off...I know better, but still get panicky seeing things go). Honestly, if my husband wasn't around I think my house would be in big trouble! lol

 

Oh my God, I know exactly how you feel. I give things feelings too. When I was little I refused to just throw away old deflated helium balloons because I was sad and it seemed heartless. My sister was just giving me crap the other day about how I held funerals for them.

 

We are currently dealing with trying to get my mother to move from the house where she has lived for 40 years, and have been throwing out all kinds of strategies to one another to help her finally divest herself of the things she has accumulated "just in case". It's a bit terrifying. She fights tooth and nail on any individual item, and it's hard because we don't want to produce that panic in her or infantilize her (and because I actually empathize, although I know it's for the best ultimately).

 

One strategy that has worked in small doses, at least, is something you might consider - giving things away to people. I'm not sure if charity would work - perhaps not a kind of faceless behemoth like Salvation Army but something smaller, or more specifically tailored to the items that you know you don't need but feel attached to? In my mom's case, giving things away to people (preferably family or friends, to her, but a charity in a pinch) helps her reconcile that anxiety over the emotional attachment - i.e. the item isn't getting "tossed" but going to a new home.

[aMguilts]

there are quite a few websites out there about being minimalistic

 

op i know exactly what you mean:rolleyes:

 

if its not useful or beautiful-its just clutter

Edited January 9, 2015 by aMguilts

[FitChick]

Sell on eBay or Craigslist or at a yard sale. The money will reinforce your getting rid of stuff. Instead of buying new stuff, either save for a big ticket item, trip or stick it in an investment account.

[gaius]

I have a thing where items can bring a rush of memories that don't otherwise come up, in a way they're like the keys to remembering periods of my life in detail. =/ So I generally try to keep everything I can.

 

I'm trying to transfer that stuff to pictures though. Take pictures of it, throw it out. Keep the pictures in a digital library that takes up less space. But it's hard to let go of a lot. Especially the stuff from when I dating one woman or another. I think I still have a Publix water jug that traveled with me through some great times in Florida, up to DC, and eventually back to Boston. It's hard to just throw my traveling companion in the trash. =/ We went through a lot together.