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So tired of not being good enough at work. Or life, in general.


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Sigh. I'm so frustrated with my job. I'm just constantly stuck being a cashier. Every single time we hire someone new, the new person gets trained for the front end stuff, works front end for a month or so, then doesn't have to cashier anymore except as backup.

 

I've been making it known to the managers for years now that I'd like to stop being "just" a cashier, but it just doesn't matter. They keep hiring new people and then the new people just jump right over me, and I'm stuck as the permanent cashier. I don't get it.

 

The reason for this rant is because we literally just hired someone new, and today I overheard one of the managers specifically telling him that they'll try to get him off cashiering pretty quickly. That just riled me up so much.

 

I don't understand. I don't know if they just don't care what I want, or if I'm just not good enough to do anything more. But it just makes me feel so completely worthless. Being a cashier is something teenagers do to make some spending money. Here I am, 26 years old, still doing a job that is expendable and easily replaceable.

 

The sad thing is, it's not even worth it to quit. Aside from the fact that finding any kind of consistent job is very tough, chances are, I'll just get stuck in the same situation but somewhere else. I'd just end up working at some other retail job, getting stuck at the bottom of the totem pole because apparently that's all I'm worth.

 

I'm so... sad, and angry, and frustrated, and so many other things. It's not even just a work thing, it's just the story of my life. Just useless and good for nothing.

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There must be a reason why they "overlook" you.

Do the newer employees have a better education?

Does the manager dislike you?

Maybe they think you're ok with your position, because you've not addressed the issue properly?

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I don't have a clue. The people we hire in are typically people in their early 20s that are no more "educated" or "experienced" than I am. Yet everyone just leapfrogs right over me. Then, on the rare occasions they do get stuck having to cashier, they whine and complain about it, and act like it's torture for them, and management is more than willing to try to make them happy.

 

I don't think management dislikes me. Heck, early on this year, we had a major change in management, and I was happy because I thought things would finally start changing for me, but the new managers just fell into the same habits as the old ones. The managers aren't unpleasant or spiteful or anything like that. I don't dislike them or have problems with any of them specifically. I just feel like what I want doesn't matter at all compared to what the rest of the people we frequently hire wants, for some reason that I can't wrap my head around.

 

I'll admit, I try not to "rock the boat" too much, and I tend to try to pick my moments to speak up for myself in a nicer, more mature way, but it just feels like nobody is ever really listening when I speak up. I get brushed off, or I get fed excuses, or whatever.

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You're probably too accommodating then. Apparently you work for people who don't appreciate the way you speak up in a mature way. You should rock the boat more and complain more. That's obviously the way to get promoted in your professional environment. Even if that's not your style, I recommend that you express your dissatisfaction more clearly and more frequently. If it works for the other employees it should work for you, too.

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So sorry to hear that, OP.

 

Do you have any qualifications after high school? If you don't, or if your qualifications aren't helping, perhaps you could consider quitting and taking out a student loan to obtain a certification or a degree in a marketable area? Of course, you'd have to do your research on employability and demand first, but if you do then it could be worth it.

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So sorry to hear that, OP.

 

Do you have any qualifications after high school? If you don't, or if your qualifications aren't helping, perhaps you could consider quitting and taking out a student loan to obtain a certification or a degree in a marketable area? Of course, you'd have to do your research on employability and demand first, but if you do then it could be worth it.

 

I finished my education early this year. Been looking for an entry level position in my industry of choice ever since, but I've had no luck.

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I finished my education early this year. Been looking for an entry level position in my industry of choice ever since, but I've had no luck.

 

Why do you think that is the case? Are there just few openings, which might mean that your industry of choice isn't very marketable? Or are there openings but they require specific skills or experience that you don't have? Or could it be your locale and you might have to consider moving?

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How old are you?

 

How old are the people getting promoted over you?

 

What is their experience with the position(s) they are getting promoted to?

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Why do you think that is the case? Are there just few openings, which might mean that your industry of choice isn't very marketable? Or are there openings but they require specific skills or experience that you don't have? Or could it be your locale and you might have to consider moving?

 

There don't appear to be many opportunities around here, and the few that pop up don't respond to my applications. I'm sure I lack a preferable amount of experience, but I can't get experience if I'm not finding work. I'm sure I might be able to find something if I were willing to relocate, but I just don't think I'm up for that kind of thing.

 

How old are you?

 

How old are the people getting promoted over you?

 

What is their experience with the position(s) they are getting promoted to?

 

I'm 26, we tend to hire people in the 21-24 range most frequently, and they're about the same level experience as me, often a bit less. There's not really "promotions" in terms of pay raises or anything like that, it's just about what section of the store you work at. But everybody we hire seems to refuse to be a cashier and for whatever reason, that's just okay.

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You probably complain the least out of all the employees for the current duty you are doing. When I was supervisor, there were certain roles that I knew most people would not like, so I would always go with the people I knew would not "complain" as much, or rather, wouldn't give a hard time about it. May not be fair, but when you have a hundred other things to take care of, the last thing you want to do is add more on your plate by having to deal with a disgruntle employee. You should voice your concerns more to management, that you want other duties than just the cashiers, and keep voicing it, in a professional manner. Eventually they should start to change, I know I would when I had employees requesting for different roles or more advance positions, part being it showed me they wanted to move forward.

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Thing is, it's not a "competitive" type of place where there are promotions and titled positions, and whatnot. It's a fairly small store; there's the part-timers, the full-timers, and the managers. Everyone within a particular one of those groups is essentially on the same level as anyone else in the same group.

 

I'm a part-timer, and everyone else that keeps getting hired and jumping right over me is also a part-timer. There are no "positions" per se, and as per corporate, everyone is simply a "sales associate". Which reminds me, one of the great ways I've gotten brushed off before is being told "You're not a 'cashier', you're a 'sales associate'; we don't have 'cashiers', just 'sales associates'". But when 99.99% of my shifts are spent entirely on register, I'm absolutely a "cashier".

 

A few months ago, when one of the newer managers started working at our store, she specifically said to me, "We might start having you work on the floor more, would that be something you'd be comfortable with?", and I basically said "Yes, absolutely, as a matter of fact, I'd MUCH prefer doing that than cashiering". But, nothing ever materialized out of that.

 

It just doesn't seem to matter what I want. I'm not sure if they don't "listen" to me, or if they just don't care. But it's so frustrating, and I feel so much resentment when I see and hear my coworkers throwing their little hissy fits about having to occasionally be on register for a night.

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Is there one manager you feel closer to than others? Pull that one aside & ask if that person can help you figure out why this keeps happening. Ask what management wants from you that will enable you to advance.

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Is there one manager you feel closer to than others? Pull that one aside & ask if that person can help you figure out why this keeps happening. Ask what management wants from you that will enable you to advance.

 

Not in particular, no. Like I said, every time I actually talk to any of them about it, I get excuses or I get some kind of brush off answer. I've been told that our budget doesn't currently allow us enough freedom to hire in other front end people, I've been told "We'll be hiring some new people pretty soon, once we get them trained on the front end stuff, we'll see what we can do for you", etc. But in the end, it's all just meaningless words, because it just doesn't matter. At this point, I know exactly what to expect when I try to talk to any of them about it.

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OP, work status rarely comes down to actual skill. It's usually about who you know and what your attitude is like. FYI, positive attitude doesn't usually matter. As someone else said, sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the oil. It's just the world we're living in.

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Unfortunately, these days it seems a like you have to kiss a$$ in order to get anywhere in life. It sounds like you have done your diligence by speaking with management on moving up to another position. Try not to get too discouraged and continue applying elsewhere. It looks like you are at a dead end with this job. A lot of people are in your boat right now. I know my husband had a difficult time finding entry-level work. Keep at it and you will find something.

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I just wish I could actually do something. I feel so powerless. Can't find a new job, can't get my current job to care about me at all... To some extent, I've been having these frustrations for a number of years, now, except I hadn't finished my education just yet. It's like, how much more of this am I going to have to go through before I can finally move on to something better in my life? At this rate, the store I work at will probably shut down before I'm actually able to find something better for myself...

 

And it just leaves me with such a low sense of self-worth. As much as I wish I had a social life, I guess it's probably better that I don't, because I'd be so embarrassed to have friends or a girlfriend, and have them know that I'm "just a cashier" that can't even afford to move out of his parents' house, at 26 years old... I don't even like keeping in touch with extended family, because it's just so embarrassing.

 

I'm dreading Christmas, even, because I'll be seeing some family, and apparently meeting my 18 year old niece's new boyfriend, who supposedly is doing really well for himself, has a good job, has his own apartment, etc. And here I am, 26 years old, living with my parents, and "just a cashier".

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Hey man, just wanted to ask:

 

Do you have any pipe dreams or aspirations in life?

 

I always ask in threads like these, I understand the feeling of powerlessness and not knowing what to do.

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SycamoreCircle

I'll tell you this, OP, you leapfrog over more than 3/4ths of this country in grammar and spelling. Honestly, I can't believe some people even went to school. Why don't you consider getting a certificate in teaching English to foreigners?

 

I know how you feel, though. I was in a job that I took great pride in where I was consistently overlooked for promotion. I think ultimately management took my having fun at work and joking as he just doesn't take his job seriously. I think for some managers you have to act like an automaton to register as a worker.

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I'll tell you this, OP, you leapfrog over more than 3/4ths of this country in grammar and spelling. Honestly, I can't believe some people even went to school. Why don't you consider getting a certificate in teaching English to foreigners?

 

Heh, I don't really have the "people" skills for something like that.

 

I know how you feel, though. I was in a job that I took great pride in where I was consistently overlooked for promotion. I think ultimately management took my having fun at work and joking as he just doesn't take his job seriously. I think for some managers you have to act like an automaton to register as a worker.

 

Yeah. I dunno. I try my best to be whatever I need to be, at work. I can be an "automaton" for getting things done at work, but I try to be "fun" and "personable" with my coworkers when it seems appropriate. It just never seems to matter at all, though.

 

Hey man, just wanted to ask:

 

Do you have any pipe dreams or aspirations in life?

 

I always ask in threads like these, I understand the feeling of powerlessness and not knowing what to do.

 

I have aspirations and life goals, though they're not overly specific. My main life goals are to have a job I enjoy (or at least, take some kind of personal satisfaction in doing), having a social circle, and having a lady to share my life with. But, I'm almost certain I'll never have a "romantic" relationship, and I'll probably never really have friends for the same reasons. Having a career is pretty much the only thing I can really shoot for, at this point, but even that's looking like a wash to me, at this point.

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I have aspirations and life goals, though they're not overly specific. My main life goals are to have a job I enjoy (or at least, take some kind of personal satisfaction in doing), having a social circle, and having a lady to share my life with. But, I'm almost certain I'll never have a "romantic" relationship, and I'll probably never really have friends for the same reasons. Having a career is pretty much the only thing I can really shoot for, at this point, but even that's looking like a wash to me, at this point.

 

I gather you have some level of social anxiety. Maybe meetups that are centered around that would be useful for you overall. I find that forcing myself to be around people helped me become more social and it was easier from there. Sometimes it's difficult, but if you can find ways to relax yourself in any scenario, you'll be fine. You can search for self-help stuff on torrent websites to help you out - not necessarily Tony Robbins or sh*t like that, but things that specifically focus on social skills, dealing with anxiety and ANY other skill you want to learn!

 

Being autistic came with it's own social deficiencies so I did a lot of the above and it helped. Learning an instrument would be good for you, very therapeutic and can actually bring you around other musicians. A creative hobby is good for exercising emotions, surprisingly so. I wouldn't rule out a romantic relationship - perhaps put it on the backburner while you sort yourself out but keep yourself open.

 

 

As for your career? That's something that requires big bollocks. If you're timid or passive, sometimes that allows people in a work/business capacity to steamroll you - thus you never progress. My advice would be to know what you want and enjoy. You're employed right now, but nothing is stopping you from applying for other jobs in other fields while you are currently employed! You can even go back to school and focus on a particular skill/trade/career path. A short course of around 12 weeks might be good. To give you a feel for a new subject and see if it's something you can do going forward. Having a plan, a direction can really galvanize you.

 

For me, it was piano teaching. It's not my endgame, but it's my current long term goal of building a foundation for myself. Since then, everything I've been doing has been gearing up for the day I begin piano teaching, earning well over minimum wage per hour. It's tough - I just got fired from my job 2 weeks ago! - but I'm not relenting, and I'm more confident and harder working than ever in order to be ready and tide myself over.

 

So in short, you have to explore and find out what you want to do. I know, you're in a position at the moment where you feel as though you don't enjoy anything or want to do anything, I can understand. I fell out of love with music not long ago and didn't know what I was gonna do. I felt just as lost! But you gotta try different things, even if you don't feel like it, even if it scares the f*ck out of you. Perseverance, at this time, is you're closest ally.

 

Do you have things in mind you wanna do for a career?

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I gather you have some level of social anxiety. Maybe meetups that are centered around that would be useful for you overall. I find that forcing myself to be around people helped me become more social and it was easier from there.

 

It's not so much "social anxiety", and more that I just don't really like people in general. Which I'm not happy about; I WANT to like people, and I've tried, but I just... don't. I can't imagine I'll ever be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone, platonic or otherwise, given this information.

 

Do you have things in mind you wanna do for a career?

 

I like editing videos together, and producing other similar digital content. That's where I aim to make a career out of.

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Have you actually applied for the promoted position? Or are you just saying you'd like the job, but not actually applying for it?

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And it just leaves me with such a low sense of self-worth. As much as I wish I had a social life, I guess it's probably better that I don't, because I'd be so embarrassed to have friends or a girlfriend, and have them know that I'm "just a cashier" that can't even afford to move out of his parents' house, at 26 years old... I don't even like keeping in touch with extended family, because it's just so embarrassing.

 

I think it's better to not have friends or a girlfriend than to have them if they are going to judge you because of your job or money. I think you care too much about what others think about you and you don't focus on your needs. And I feel this has been this way for so long. You know what you have to do.

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It's not so much "social anxiety", and more that I just don't really like people in general. Which I'm not happy about; I WANT to like people, and I've tried, but I just... don't.

 

Does this come across when you cashier?

 

If you want to promote above that, to something like a supervisor or management, you're going to have to develop some soft skills, people skills.

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It's not so much "social anxiety", and more that I just don't really like people in general. Which I'm not happy about; I WANT to like people, and I've tried, but I just... don't. I can't imagine I'll ever be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone, platonic or otherwise, given this information.

 

Have you ever been able to examine why? There's always a trigger point.....

 

I like editing videos together, and producing other similar digital content. That's where I aim to make a career out of.

 

OK, well you could be looking to build up a portfolio in that field if you can. And learn some other co-morbid skills aswell if you have the time (tried filming?). If that's what you like doing, you should try to build towards that career path.

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