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Stupid Jealousy Problems


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I have a very weird jealousy issue. I feel as though I get jealous over the most stupid things. Someone has more friends than me, jealous. Someone got invited to something, jealous. Someone is having more fun with a person than with me, jealous. I feel it is jealousy over extremely silly things.

 

I am always able to rationalize with myself and talk myself out of it. It is not so strong that it ruins any relationships for me or that I can't be logical about things. I just hate having to feel this jealousy.

 

And I have difficulty understanding why I feel this way. I ask myself is it because I feel that I am lacking in something that other people have? Is it that I am not so well known in a big social group so I feel jealous when other people do? Am I not secure enough in myself? I would like to think that I am.

 

What would be the best way to deal with this sort of jealousy?

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You already seem to be dealing with it. You said yourself you talk yourself out of it. As you mature, you should experience less of it especially as you learn to appreciate the things you do have.

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Like most of the emotional complexes each individual grapples with the source for them typically comes either from conditioning during childhood or a more recent trauma (or series of them).

 

That you recognize the jealous reactions within yourself and are already addressing them is a very good sign. The more often you catch it and tone it down, the less often and intense it will be.

 

Advice I've received through therapy and spirituality both say essentially the same thing: When you feel a powerful emotion coming on, learn how to not react to it - both physically and mentally. Scan over your body and feel for where that powerful emotion has a sensation in the body. Usually it's in the throat, heart or belly (or a combination, but it could be anywhere). Then just sit there are feel that out. Don't think about it, don't think into it, don't think about anything else. Just feel the sensation. Eventually it will pass.

 

The less often you react to those sensations, the less often they will arise, and when they do, the less powerful they will feel (proportional to the stimulus that triggered it).

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Thank you for the advice and suggestions. I tried doing what you said when I felt jealous and it was good to distract my attention from the jealousy itself to the sensations caused by it. Not saying that it was wham bham problem solved but it is a good start.

 

Thanks!

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