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My new roommate is extremely messy


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Thegreatestthing

I moved into a new house and my roommate is extremely nice person but her whole house is just a mess,the kitchen is not even useable it's so messy I've been eating out every night and I can't do that much longer,there's just mess everywhere I can't stand it,plus the room is gloomy and dark.

She also leaves the heating on from 9am to 1am in the morning,which I can't afford,I just hate it there but as I said she's really nice.

 

I've found a new place and the woman is really unfriendly but her her house is very tidy and in an area I want to live in,what should I do.

 

Or should I just wait for a place that's clean and has a nice person living there ???i need a place urgently so I can't really wait around.

 

Any advice.

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How about cleaning it?

I'm sure your room mate would appriciate the help...it might even motivate her to join in. Take it one area at a time. Starting in the Kitchen. Just tell her. "Sorry I can't afford to eat out anymore, I'm going to sort some of this stuff out in the kitchen so I can start making meals. OK"

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Move to the tidy place. You don't want the woman to be your friend, you want a sanitary place to live. You will have privacy since it sounds like she won't intrude. When you give notice to leave your friendly landlady, tell her you can't stand to live in a mess. If she's losing tenants, she may change her slovenly ways.

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I moved into a new house and my roommate is extremely nice person but her whole house is just a mess,the kitchen is not even useable it's so messy I've been eating out every night and I can't do that much longer,there's just mess everywhere I can't stand it,plus the room is gloomy and dark.

She also leaves the heating on from 9am to 1am in the morning,which I can't afford,I just hate it there but as I said she's really nice.

 

I've found a new place and the woman is really unfriendly but her her house is very tidy and in an area I want to live in,what should I do.

 

Or should I just wait for a place that's clean and has a nice person living there ???i need a place urgently so I can't really wait around.

 

Any advice.

 

Try talking to the friendly landlady - via text or email. Tell her your concerns about the conditions of the home and the extra expenses you are incurring from eating out and the bills. See what her responses are and where you can go from there. You might also snap a photo or two (with an accurate timestamp). This all may sound odd, but just in case you have to move and there are any questions down the road you want to make sure that she was put on notice about the conditions and your feelings about the situation.

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Messy people never change.

 

 

I wouldn't want to live with a mean person, but if by "unfriendly" you just mean that she's no-nonsense and kinda distant, without actually being rude or mean, that's not so bad. In that case move into the clean place.

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Confront your roommate on this. Politely yet firmly. Keep the intention about creating a living environment in which you both feel comfortable. This is collaborative effort about both of your needs, not just you stating your demands.

 

Make simple and clear house rules that you both agree to abide by. Put them up on the fridge.

 

Anytime she dips into a pattern of rule violation, remind her of the agreement.

 

If you can't agree on terms to begin with then your options really are limited to either asserting dominance, accepting the situation as is and cleaning up after her (submission), or finding another place to live.

 

My experience has been that very few people continue in disrespectful behaviour once they come around to realizing it. You're more likely to effect a change by approaching the situation with compassion and mutual interest in mind.

 

Take this as a valuable lesson in asserting your will. You are well within your rights to expect a tidy home.

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