I want to shut myself from people

[makeithappen]

Hello all,

 

I am so fed up of people's meanness towards me, and the fact that when I complaint about it to my friends, people don't care.

I want to stop interacting with people. I am so angry that my feelings are injured on a daily basis. I seem to get people with this attitude more than my friends. They are more respected. I don't know why I keep being nice when I get all this abuse/putting down/riduculing from others.

I have lost all confidence in human interactions. I am so put off. It hurts me so much when people are mean to me, that I cannot even respond. I am in shock and I just want to cry.

Why are people so mean? It affects me so much, I cannot brush it off.

[OwMyEyeball]

Sorry that you're feeling hurt

 

Can you give some examples of how others are treating you poorly?

 

Do you live in a large urban center or a small community?

 

That will help to give more perspective on the issues you're having.

[d0nnivain]

Some times it's a function of what you put out there to the universe. When you are miserable, you interpret everything negatively even stuff that is really neutral.

 

If you want people to be nicer, sometimes you have to change yourself which can be hard to do when you are feeling attacked.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Gosh, don't know how or what happened... All I can say it takes a special person to isolate ones self and be happy.

 

I never found another like that and only thought I was odd. Jesting about myself, so don't take it personally.

 

I learned to live within my bubble, as it can go in and out of the world around me. Unfortunately nobody can get past it, unless invited. That can be trouble at finding trust, as many expect you to trust them in some way.

 

I hope you can see the draw backs of just being so isolated, and that this is an isolated occurrence. No pun intended.

 

Though, I do try to keep myself from being so, within my own limits. I guess that I have a good sense of humor, I can laugh my troubles away. So if your going to make it on your own, you better find some humor in it, or you will end up even more depressed.

[me85]

Gosh, don't know how or what happened... All I can say it takes a special person to isolate ones self and be happy.

 

I never found another like that and only thought I was odd. Jesting about myself, so don't take it personally.

 

I learned to live within my bubble, as it can go in and out of the world around me. Unfortunately nobody can get past it, unless invited. That can be trouble at finding trust, as many expect you to trust them in some way.

 

I hope you can see the draw backs of just being so isolated, and that this is an isolated occurrence. No pun intended.

 

Though, I do try to keep myself from being so, within my own limits. I guess that I have a good sense of humor, I can laugh my troubles away. So if your going to make it on your own, you better find some humor in it, or you will end up even more depressed.

 

Nope, you're not the odd one out! I'm the same way. I've lived happily in a bubble for over a year now. I go out and do things from time to time but I'm more than comfortable with being alone. It suits me just fine. It took isolation for me to heal properly. I mean, I wasn't totally isolated from people...I have a job, I work, I'm social...but it's just work, grocery shopping, home with my dog, video games and social networking. And anything else that didn't involve going out. LOL

 

I'm such a loner! I'm at the point in my life where I won't settle for anything less than I deserve...including friends, family, lovers...all of it. This is my private party and no one without an invitation gets in.

 

You and I are special people because we can be happy alone. I don't know ANYBODY who can survive on their own without needing someone else in some way. Me? I no need anyone except myself, my dog (he's hilarious) and my grand ole pals here at LS! hehe

 

 

So MakeItHappen...do whatever you need to do in order to be happy in life. But don't forget about the people that love and care for you who are good to you.

[makeithappen]

Sorry that you're feeling hurt

 

Can you give some examples of how others are treating you poorly?

 

Do you live in a large urban center or a small community?

 

That will help to give more perspective on the issues you're having.

 

 

 

Unless I am talking to just one person, i feel ignored, dismissed and ridiculed in a group.

 

People don't care enough about how I am. When I am hurt, it is brushed off as being nothing.

 

I live in a dorm, at uni.

 

 

 

I have so much love to give, but people act so harshly towards me, or ven disinterested.

[makeithappen]

Nope, you're not the odd one out! I'm the same way. I've lived happily in a bubble for over a year now. I go out and do things from time to time but I'm more than comfortable with being alone. It suits me just fine. It took isolation for me to heal properly. I mean, I wasn't totally isolated from people...I have a job, I work, I'm social...but it's just work, grocery shopping, home with my dog, video games and social networking. And anything else that didn't involve going out. LOL

 

I'm such a loner! I'm at the point in my life where I won't settle for anything less than I deserve...including friends, family, lovers...all of it. This is my private party and no one without an invitation gets in.

 

You and I are special people because we can be happy alone. I don't know ANYBODY who can survive on their own without needing someone else in some way. Me? I no need anyone except myself, my dog (he's hilarious) and my grand ole pals here at LS! hehe

 

 

So MakeItHappen...do whatever you need to do in order to be happy in life. But don't forget about the people that love and care for you who are good to you.

 

 

 

There are none. Today, it occurred to me that I have no deep relationship with anyone. I just know people superficially. I just shared my emotional problems and the phase I am going through with some of them, and they showed no willingness to reach out.

 

 

 

I have no partner, I am estranged from my family, and I have no proper friends.

[makeithappen]

Gosh, don't know how or what happened... All I can say it takes a special person to isolate ones self and be happy.

 

I never found another like that and only thought I was odd. Jesting about myself, so don't take it personally.

 

I learned to live within my bubble, as it can go in and out of the world around me. Unfortunately nobody can get past it, unless invited. That can be trouble at finding trust, as many expect you to trust them in some way.

 

I hope you can see the draw backs of just being so isolated, and that this is an isolated occurrence. No pun intended.

 

Though, I do try to keep myself from being so, within my own limits. I guess that I have a good sense of humor, I can laugh my troubles away. So if your going to make it on your own, you better find some humor in it, or you will end up even more depressed.

 

 

 

It's not odd. I am just very hurt by people's lack of interest/care and respect towards me.

I am fed up of the same scenarios. I give up.

[makeithappen]

Some times it's a function of what you put out there to the universe. When you are miserable, you interpret everything negatively even stuff that is really neutral.

 

If you want people to be nicer, sometimes you have to change yourself which can be hard to do when you are feeling attacked.

 

 

 

 

Today, I tried to smile a lot at people, be nice, I even offered presents to my colleagues as I came back from holidays. But these same people showed no interest in me. I then shared with them how hurt I felt at how another colleague treated me, and they brushed it off as being nothing!

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Nope, you're not the odd one out! I'm the same way. I've lived happily in a bubble for over a year now. I go out and do things from time to time but I'm more than comfortable with being alone. It suits me just fine. It took isolation for me to heal properly. I mean, I wasn't totally isolated from people...I have a job, I work, I'm social...but it's just work, grocery shopping, home with my dog, video games and social networking. And anything else that didn't involve going out. LOL

 

I'm such a loner! I'm at the point in my life where I won't settle for anything less than I deserve...including friends, family, lovers...all of it. This is my private party and no one without an invitation gets in.

 

You and I are special people because we can be happy alone. I don't know ANYBODY who can survive on their own without needing someone else in some way. Me? I no need anyone except myself, my dog (he's hilarious) and my grand ole pals here at LS! hehe

 

 

So MakeItHappen...do whatever you need to do in order to be happy in life. But don't forget about the people that love and care for you who are good to you.

 

Ah, well then what are the odds of bumping into each other in person. HA!

 

Well ditto... though nobody knew I was such a loner. Meaning I did get out and about. Took me till I was 30 to even think about having a relationship.

 

One thing I do know that works for loners... I never have been disappointed with myself as a relationship goes. It is the other person that has issues. HA!

 

Well, I did find a proper woman not too long ago... one who brought me out of my bubble and sees me as I am right down to the nitty gritty.

 

It goes to show you, even when you isolate yourself, you are always found by someone.

 

As a wee secret... It is not me that is mad, it is the world around me. As I am perfectly normal until someone comes along and says otherwise.

[me85]

You're young. Your life will improve month by month. Social life is a huge part of school but why not forget about socializing for now and just focus on your grades? Whenever you are placed in a group for study, projects or whatever then just keep your focus on the study or project...or whatever. lol

 

I'm sorry you feel ignored. It's hard growing up but you won't always be ignored. I promise. You may have to change a couple of things about yourself. For instance, if you're shy, then speak up! If you're a pushover then don't be anymore! If you don't take up for yourself, then start! If you're mean or rude then be nice and polite instead...and so on and so forth.

 

Chin up! Not all people are going to ignore you. You may just need a new group of friends. As you get older you'll have lots of friends. You'll change friends often.

[makeithappen]

You're young. Your life will improve month by month. Social life is a huge part of school but why not forget about socializing for now and just focus on your grades? Whenever you are placed in a group for study, projects or whatever then just keep your focus on the study or project...or whatever. lol

 

I'm sorry you feel ignored. It's hard growing up but you won't always be ignored. I promise. You may have to change a couple of things about yourself. For instance, if you're shy, then speak up! If you're a pushover then don't be anymore! If you don't take up for yourself, then start! If you're mean or rude then be nice and polite instead...and so on and so forth.

 

Chin up! Not all people are going to ignore you. You may just need a new group of friends. As you get older you'll have lots of friends. You'll change friends often.

 

 

 

I hope it is true. Since I am estranged from my family, I try to find kind people. I act friendly and approachable, but then people break my heart! I am so bleeding inside. I love human interaction, and be with people, but I always get a slap on the face.

[me85]

Ah, well then what are the odds of bumping into each other in person. HA!

 

Well ditto... though nobody knew I was such a loner. Meaning I did get out and about. Took me till I was 30 to even think about having a relationship.

 

One thing I do know that works for loners... I never have been disappointed with myself as a relationship goes. It is the other person that has issues. HA!

 

Well, I did find a proper woman not too long ago... one who brought me out of my bubble and sees me as I am right down to the nitty gritty.

 

It goes to show you, even when you isolate yourself, you are always found by someone.

 

As a wee secret... It is not me that is mad, it is the world around me. As I am perfectly normal until someone comes along and says otherwise.

 

LOL you're really funny!

 

I know! It is the other person who has the issues, not us. No one ever really considered me a loner either really because I'm very outgoing. It's bizarre. I am both extraverted and introverted. I'm not shy, I have no filter. I'm honest. I'm humorous. I'm scatter brained as f&@k. lol I'm good in a crowd. In fact, I'm great. Center of attention but also back row/back corner. I just look at is as God made everything when he made me. (=

[me85]

I hope it is true. Since I am estranged from my family, I try to find kind people. I act friendly and approachable, but then people break my heart! I am so bleeding inside. I love human interaction, and be with people, but I always get a slap on the face.

 

I'm really sorry you are so sad. I understand. I'm estranged from family as well. I'm all I've got but you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Being on my own all my life has made me so tough. I feel like I can face anything. I've gotten through so much on my own, when the friends I hung around didn't give a **** or the family or even boyfriends...I show my scars proudly and whenever I look at them I feel like wonder woman! lol Don't get me wrong, I'm only human so of course every now and then I have sad moments too, but not all that often as I used to. Strength comes from time and experience. You'll get there.

 

You have to stop depending on others to make you happy. You have to stop putting so much value into what they think. How they treat you is a reflection of them sweetie, not you. Get new friends. The ones you're upset over obviously aren't true friends. So what are you losing by losing them, huh? Not much.

[makeithappen]

I'm really sorry you are so sad. I understand. I'm estranged from family as well. I'm all I've got but you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Being on my own all my life has made me so tough. I feel like I can face anything. I've gotten through so much on my own, when the friends I hung around didn't give a **** or the family or even boyfriends...I show my scars proudly and whenever I look at them I feel like wonder woman! lol Don't get me wrong, I'm only human so of course every now and then I have sad moments too, but not all that often as I used to. Strength comes from time and experience. You'll get there.

 

You have to stop depending on others to make you happy. You have to stop putting so much value into what they think. How they treat you is a reflection of them sweetie, not you. Get new friends. The ones you're upset over obviously aren't true friends. So what are you losing by losing them, huh? Not much.

 

 

 

 

But I need to feel loved. I have been denied this feeling al my life. It feels like I won't be loved truly. It's scary and that's why I am upset.

[me85]

But I need to feel loved. I have been denied this feeling al my life. It feels like I won't be loved truly. It's scary and that's why I am upset.

 

Yes, we all want to feel loved. But you only feel like you won't ever be. It's a feeling not a fact. Remember what I'm telling you. You feel feelings not facts. You need to consider the facts...fact #1 You're young and have many years ahead of you to encounter feelings of love. Both for and from people. fact#2 Education is important. Try to focus on your studies. fact#3 WOMEN ARE HORMONAL. Understand that your body is changing as you mature. fact#4 Loving yourself is more important than feeling loved by others. So love yourself first and foremost. You don't need a reason to. JUST DO IT. fact#5 Your life is going to change. There is a lot you're going to go through. fact#6 You're only as sad/crazy/lonely, etc...as you want to be.

Edited September 16, 2014 by me85

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

But I need to feel loved. I have been denied this feeling al my life. It feels like I won't be loved truly. It's scary and that's why I am upset.

 

I dont expect you to wait 30+ years to find love, especially someone that truly understands you.

 

I did, and I did not let it bother me, because I always believed some day a mature woman will see everything she wants is right here inside me.

 

Believe that and allow someone to see you, without any expectations. If they are interested and you find them as interesting. You can then trust them to be closer. Many women have no clue to what they want and need, so they go with the easiest to obtain wants. Though many men are the same, just have the power to change things to fit their wants easier.

 

Unless the woman is drop dead gorgeous.

[SpiralOut]

But I need to feel loved. I have been denied this feeling al my life. It feels like I won't be loved truly. It's scary and that's why I am upset.

 

I think your feelings are getting hurt because you want these people to fill the hole in your life and it's not working. Even if it did work, that's not fair to them or to yourself. It makes your life unstable - if they move away or the friendship ends for whatever reason, you'll be unhappy again.

 

 

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. I think these people just aren't the right fit for you, but if you keep looking you will find good friends eventually. In the meantime, work on loving yourself. Do nice things for yourself. Stand up for yourself more often. The way that we treat ourselves makes a difference in the type of people we attract.

[thekid36]

Hello all,

 

I am so fed up of people's meanness towards me, and the fact that when I complaint about it to my friends, people don't care.

I want to stop interacting with people. I am so angry that my feelings are injured on a daily basis. I seem to get people with this attitude more than my friends. They are more respected. I don't know why I keep being nice when I get all this abuse/putting down/riduculing from others.

I have lost all confidence in human interactions. I am so put off. It hurts me so much when people are mean to me, that I cannot even respond. I am in shock and I just want to cry.

Why are people so mean? It affects me so much, I cannot brush it off.

 

People are so mean because most in this world totally suck. Sorry to be blunt but it is also the truth. The world has become so fast that most are all in it for themselves. I used to get very frustrated and sad as well about this. The negative environment I was living in did not help. I just realized one day that there are good people out here. Just a little more challenging to find them at times is all. Which makes it all the more important and meaningful when we are lucky enough to come across them. Just try to stay a little more positive. Try not to force things when it comes to interactions and just be yourself. Being sort of sensitive is not a bad thing. No need to find a whole bunch of people within your life. Quality beats quantity all the time.

[JDPT]

There are none. Today, it occurred to me that I have no deep relationship with anyone. I just know people superficially. I just shared my emotional problems and the phase I am going through with some of them, and they showed no willingness to reach out.

 

 

 

I have no partner, I am estranged from my family, and I have no proper friends.

 

Sometimes our expectancies of others are so high that if we are not reciprocated as expected specially in times of need can lead to devastating outcomes which is what you are currently feeling. Accountability is key here, clearly we will always like to have someone who can listen to us and provide us with sound advice but that's not always the case, so what do we do to change this and perhaps build a much stronger network of friends?

 

 

I think you need to first start working on the core of your problems and see what it is that you are really looking for in life and what it is that's currently bothering you, AND what are you willing to do to change your current situation.

 

 

Expose yourself, go out without expecting to meet your next best friend or the love of your life, simply go out have fun make connections and know that when you feel mistreated is not about YOU, it's about others and their past experiences in interactive with the world.

[carhill]

Hello all,

 

I am so fed up of people's meanness towards me, and the fact that when I complaint about it to my friends, people don't care.

 

Yep, that's pretty common, in general. The world can be a pretty harsh place sometimes. If your complaints are rare, and heartfelt, and friends dismiss you, they aren't friends, so stop referring to them as friends and simply disconnect them.

I want to stop interacting with people.

 

That's OK if you don't mind being alone. There are a lot of folks who make similar choices. Do what's healthiest for you and be open to changing your mind. Nothing in life is cast in stone.

I am so angry that my feelings are injured on a daily basis. I seem to get people with this attitude more than my friends

You can't control the actions/behaviors of others; all you can control is how you process the stimulus and the results of the emotions you feel.

They are more respected.

That's your perception but it's impossible to know what's in their mind and respect is very subjective.

I don't know why I keep being nice when I get all this abuse/putting down/riduculing from others.

I would surmise because it's a fundamental feature of your personality, just like for some their base personality is to be other than nice/friendly/helpful/empathetic. It's hard to sway you from that basic nature.

I have lost all confidence in human interactions. I am so put off. It hurts me so much when people are mean to me, that I cannot even respond. I am in shock and I just want to cry.

It's OK to feel that way. However, you have choices. Accept the feelings and make choices which benefit you. I've found, as I've aged, I simply reject the milieu and disconnect without comment, leaving them hanging and talking to the air. For the few who have asked 'why', I've answered that I'll be happy to engage with anyone who is willing to listen, if only for a moment, so not noting that moment, I move on to other things. People are a lot more irrelevant, in general, to me now than when I was younger. Their lives and deaths mean a lot less. IMO, that's healthy because they were unhealthily prioritized by some basic psychological issues of my own I had to address. Things are more balanced now.

Why are people so mean? It affects me so much, I cannot brush it off.

 

Why is a mystery you'll likely carry to your grave. I doubt I'll ever figure it out and I've been on the planet awhile. That said, you can choose how much it 'affects you' and can feel good about those choices. In the final analysis, you're in complete control, even if you might feel hurt and powerless at the moment. Find that inner place which brings you peace and all this 'stuff' out in the world will become nothing more than background noise. Good luck!

[makeithappen]

Sometimes our expectancies of others are so high that if we are not reciprocated as expected specially in times of need can lead to devastating outcomes which is what you are currently feeling. Accountability is key here, clearly we will always like to have someone who can listen to us and provide us with sound advice but that's not always the case, so what do we do to change this and perhaps build a much stronger network of friends?

 

 

I think you need to first start working on the core of your problems and see what it is that you are really looking for in life and what it is that's currently bothering you, AND what are you willing to do to change your current situation.

 

 

Expose yourself, go out without expecting to meet your next best friend or the love of your life, simply go out have fun make connections and know that when you feel mistreated is not about YOU, it's about others and their past experiences in interactive with the world.

 

 

In all honesty, I feel like my voice is not heard. When I voice my opinion or suggest something, it is dismissed or not treated seriously, or ignored. I just want people to 'see' me and take interest in me. I want to be taken seriously and be respected. Not just be part of the decor.

 

So far, I am still waiting for my first appointment with my university's counseling team (they are more reachable when term starts, so hopefully I should get an appointment for next week).

 

I am also distancing myself emotionally and physically from some people (especially my research supervisor and my peers who I am disappointed with)

 

I have signed up to go on week-end trips with a student tour agency (they offer good discounts, and maybe discovering other cities/environments will make me think less about people). Even if I will be with other people, I won't have the obligation to interact with them, as they will be complete strangers to me, and I will be busy appreciating the environment.

 

 

I am also trying to be more open about how I feel. I told a man I felt offended by what he said, and although he apologised and then made efforts to talk, I just could not 're-connect' with him. He tried making conversation, but I ignored him (I know it looks like verbal abuse, but really I was still re-living his words in my head). In the end, he gave up and stopped talking to me. I did not care as I will probably never see him. I know, I should accept apologies, but to me, his careless/insensitive demeanor suggested that this is a trait in him. I did not want to expose myself to more insensitive comments (especially when it is about making me feel stupid/or questioning my intellect).

[Emilia]

In all honesty, I feel like my voice is not heard. When I voice my opinion or suggest something, it is dismissed or not treated seriously, or ignored. I just want people to 'see' me and take interest in me. I want to be taken seriously and be respected. Not just be part of the decor.

 

So far, I am still waiting for my first appointment with my university's counseling team (they are more reachable when term starts, so hopefully I should get an appointment for next week).

 

I am also distancing myself emotionally and physically from some people (especially my research supervisor and my peers who I am disappointed with)

 

I have signed up to go on week-end trips with a student tour agency (they offer good discounts, and maybe discovering other cities/environments will make me think less about people). Even if I will be with other people, I won't have the obligation to interact with them, as they will be complete strangers to me, and I will be busy appreciating the environment.

 

 

I am also trying to be more open about how I feel. I told a man I felt offended by what he said, and although he apologised and then made efforts to talk, I just could not 're-connect' with him. He tried making conversation, but I ignored him (I know it looks like verbal abuse, but really I was still re-living his words in my head). In the end, he gave up and stopped talking to me. I did not care as I will probably never see him. I know, I should accept apologies, but to me, his careless/insensitive demeanor suggested that this is a trait in him. I did not want to expose myself to more insensitive comments (especially when it is about making me feel stupid/or questioning my intellect).

I think it would greatly benefit you if you sought a psychologist. The way you relate to people (you feel constantly hurt, dismissed, slighted and you break up your interpersonal relationships) and the fact that you are alienated from your family suggests that there are emotional regulation issues that a psychologist could help you with.

 

It would help you a great deal if you got advice on how to take out the anxiety and negative feelings from your dealings with others.

 

I would go to a psychologist rather than a uni counsillor, they might not be best equipped to deal with this.