Georgia2014 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Today I went on a first date that did not work out. This is the 4th first date in two months. I just feel like I will never find the right guy. I hardly ever get messages on OLD sites. I have up profile pictures and have written about me in my profile. Men view my profile but they hardly ever message or respond. It's getting to the point to where I am seeing I will never meet the right guy. That I will be single forever. I have been really depressed about this lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Today I went on a first date that did not work out. This is the 4th first date in two months. I just feel like I will never find the right guy. I hardly ever get messages on OLD sites. I have up profile pictures and have written about me in my profile. Men view my profile but they hardly ever message or respond. It's getting to the point to where I am seeing I will never meet the right guy. That I will be single forever. I have been really depressed about this lately. It takes lots of first dates to find one with a connection. Unfortunately. OLD is not for the faint of heart (and I'm not saying you are by any means... but it really can be brutal). What I've found is that the best men appear in my life when I am not looking. How about consciously taking a break and using the time to pursue some new interests or just focus on yourself and friends/family? Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it has worked for me. Alternatively, are you confident that your profile represents you as much as possible? Hang in there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Georgia2014 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 It takes lots of first dates to find one with a connection. Unfortunately. OLD is not for the faint of heart (and I'm not saying you are by any means... but it really can be brutal). What I've found is that the best men appear in my life when I am not looking. How about consciously taking a break and using the time to pursue some new interests or just focus on yourself and friends/family? Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it has worked for me. Alternatively, are you confident that your profile represents you as much as possible? Hang in there... So far every relationship I've been in has been from OLD. I have nothing but time for myself and to focus on myself. I've done that so much I am tired of it. I have also been doing hobbies I didn't have time to do in my last relationship. But thank you for trying to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I noticed two things that I think are positive. One is that you are out there at least trying. Some people don't even get that far. Second is that you haven't accepted the notion that you will be single forever. That is to say that the thought of being single forever elicits sadness and discouragement. One could say that being comfortable with yourself and embracing singledom can be empowering. However, I think acquiescence is the flip-side of that coin. I know people who believe that they will be single forever and shrug. They have accepted it and lived with it to the extent that it rarely bothers them. But you? You've been plugging away in the face of adversity. The thought of being alone depresses you, and so you won't give up. You'll continue to compile stories that will be funny years from now when you look back. You'll really enjoy that first bite of wedding cake, even though that stuff is way too sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Georgia, I'm not going to waste your headspace by waffling on about, have you tried new hobbies, clubs etc...you've chosen the OLD route. How old are you? What do you look like? Do you list positive attributes and hobbies on your profile? Are you multi facetted or a simple kind of easy to please person? Just trying to build a profile here. As said before, I commend you for keeping on keeping on with the dating, a lot of people would be discouraged, so maybe a start line in your OLD profile would say, " positive person, glass half full, eternal optimist and closet romantic"??? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 If every relationship you have ever had has been from OLD & you have gone on 4 dates in the past two month with no results, perhaps it's time you faced the reality that OLD doesn't work. Take the suggestions from your other threads about meeting people IRL in other ways. You are never going to find what you want on a computer. Every thread has the same underlying theme yet none of them include follow up that you have tried doing anything other than OLD & posting the same lament over & over on here. If you want different results you have to change what you are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Georgia2014 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 If every relationship you have ever had has been from OLD & you have gone on 4 dates in the past two month with no results, perhaps it's time you faced the reality that OLD doesn't work. Take the suggestions from your other threads about meeting people IRL in other ways. You are never going to find what you want on a computer. Every thread has the same underlying theme yet none of them include follow up that you have tried doing anything other than OLD & posting the same lament over & over on here. If you want different results you have to change what you are doing. There is no way I can meet some IRL. I live in a small town that does not have many activities. Even if I could meet someone IRL I would be too shy to approach them. If they approached me it wouldn't be as difficult to talk to them. The reason for that is if they approach me then that means the guy is attracted to me or at least interested in me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Even if I could meet someone IRL I would be too shy to approach them. If they approached me it wouldn't be as difficult to talk to them. The reason for that is if they approach me then that means the guy is attracted to me or at least interested in me. Are you to shy to give lingering glances? A smile? A wink? Biting your lip while smiling? Link to post Share on other sites
bluej244 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Stop stressing yourself out. Focus on what and who you have right now. Someone will come into your life in times you thought he wouldn't. You can't just believe how magical it is. If you keep on searching they might fly and hide. Just wait for the right time. If it hasn't come yet, it is not yet the right time. He'll come, eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 There is no way I can meet some IRL. I live in a small town that does not have many activities. Even if I could meet someone IRL I would be too shy to approach them. If they approached me it wouldn't be as difficult to talk to them. The reason for that is if they approach me then that means the guy is attracted to me or at least interested in me. What are you doing to overcome your shyness? It can be done. Join a group like ToastMasters. It's designed to teach people how to speak in public but can help with shyness in general. If you have the money check out the Dale Carnegie classes. They may be harder to come by in a small town. You can also practice. Start small. For one week smile at 1 stranger per day. You don't have to do anything else. As you get more comfortable doing that, spend the next week saying hi to strangers. Nothing more. Just hi. Keep that up for a while. Work your way up to saying something like "Nice day isn't it?" or "Gee I wish it would stop raining." The point is to get you used to talking to strangers so you learn that it can be a positive experience & the world doesn't have to swallow you whole because you opened your mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
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