Weird school eff up

[Johnsmith1003]

Here's my dilemma, in a nutshell.

 

Back in spring '10 I started taking online courses at a private school. Up until now I've been doing pretty good and getting good grades. This spring, though, I withdrew from my classes for purposes not related to school (raising a newborn, etc). What I didn't know was that by withdrawing, the school pays back my 'lost' financial aid and in turn I must pay them back before returning (I have 6 classes left until I attain my BFA). I owe them nearly $5k. I didn't have that, naturally, and no way to get it quick. I started panicking. "I NEED that bachelors one way or another," I told myself. Well here I am, 4 months later and confused. I made up excuses to not go back and finish because "I don't like that type of job anymore" or "I don't like the idea of sitting in a chair for my job" to "my tastes changed" but in reality what I realize to be the only deterrent was my inability to DO that career. Just listen (it sounds stupid). I've gotten As, Bs and Cs, even a D once. But oddly, I can't recall anything I've learned. I can't open the couple programs or books and be able to remember anything. I feel a huge three year blank of nothingness. It might be attributed to my absent minded, neurotic personality I'm only now controlling. I feel if I finish this degree now, I'll remember nothing, and be the least qualified in my field to do anything with it. Now, with that being said, I have a couple options I wanted the people at LS to help me with. Either 1. I go back to school this semester, do my GE (it'll take 3 semesters) then move on to a CSU where they offer a similar degree (another 3 semesters) and by the time I graduate at 27 I'll have the bachelors in that (and if I choose to eventually pay off the $5k and finish, I can get my bachelors for that other thing). What I know is the classes I take at CSU profoundly overlaps those I took for this degree so it may be a chance for me to finally understand the inter workings of it and ultimately have an ironclad understanding of it all or 2. I don't go back, buy 7 books and read read read read read and read to educate myself what I evidently just skipped through, then pay off that debt and have 1 bachelors in the field. I apologize if this sounds convoluted or confusing. I'll try to answer anyone's questions.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Johnsmith1003