Monm82 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I just joined facebook. I thought I would catch up with old friends and classmates from way back. Seeing all these people I knew with their own lives and families. It made me feel like such a loser. I have pretty much no social life. Can anyone relate to this? Opinions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notserene Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 It's common to feel this way when looking at other people's Facebook profiles since everyone tries to make themselves look fabulous. In fact there are studies that link time spent on social media with depression. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I don't know any who's real life is nearly as good as their projected FB image, in fact I think it's just the opposite....the happier people try to get you to think they are, the more miserable they are in real life. It is basically a personal PR/marketing tool of self-edited content. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Remember the old Christmas letters people used to get, filled with wonderful bragging about how Fabulous their lives were? Now, thanks to FB you can enjoy that envious feeling 365 days per year! Every brags on FB. Take it all with a grain of salt, preferably around the rim of a margarita. You will be fine. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
melodicintention Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I feel the opposite. I'm still pursuing and living my dreams and everyone else gave up on theirs. I've lost interest in FB seeing all the kiddie poop posts. Realize that people typically only post the good in their lives, thereby rendering a false view of their actual lives disposition. Facebook tends to ruin more friendships than it fosters anyways, at least in my experience. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Everything isn't always as it appears. Trust me. FB is just a glorified highlight wheel of people's lives. I always question people who feel the need to plaster their entire lives on social media feeds. Like someone already said, take it with a grain of salt. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Remember the old Christmas letters people used to get, filled with wonderful bragging about how Fabulous their lives were? Now, thanks to FB you can enjoy that envious feeling 365 days per year! Every brags on FB. Take it all with a grain of salt, preferably around the rim of a margarita. You will be fine. Oh God, those letters. I have an aunt who still sends those out and it's basically "LOOK AT HOW AWESOME MY CHILDREN ARE THEY DO THINGS LOOK". Anyway, people love making their lives look perfect and amazing. Don't even pay attention to it, most people tend to exaggerate themselves a great deal. I have maybe 50 pictures from the 8 years I've had facebook and have had the same profile picture for 3 years. I just do not care. For myself, it's just a way to communicate with long distance friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Brigid Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Remember the old Christmas letters people used to get, filled with wonderful bragging about how Fabulous their lives were? Now, thanks to FB you can enjoy that envious feeling 365 days per year! Every brags on FB. Take it all with a grain of salt, preferably around the rim of a margarita. You will be fine. I briefly had a Facebook account a couple of years back and ripped it down. It's too freaking depressing. If you're the kind of person who is a bit sensitive and doesn't roll with the punches then Facebook isn't right for you. If you're the type that loves socializing and can't get enough of group activities then Facebook is probably lots of fun. I'm not a big fan of group activities. Link to post Share on other sites
Moonborn Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I think the only sensible use for Facebook is using it to keep in touch with people who really count for you but are far away and to help stay updated on social event/news etc.. If somebody I have as friend keeps posting stuff about how wonderful his/her life is, to the point that it bothers me, I simply unfollow him/her. It really is as simple as that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DeluxeYou Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Delete your account as fast as you can! And enjoy life. My 2 cents... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Moonborn Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Delete your account as fast as you can! And enjoy life. My 2 cents... Until not too much time ago I would have agreed with you, but I have found that by not having facebook at all you risk being left behind when it comes to meetings and such. Just to say one, there recently was a conference at my university which I would have missed if I didn't have facebook, since they advertised it there. It's a tool. Like all tools it can do damage if it's not used properly, but it can do some good if you use it right. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyLady13 Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Monm82, you said you pretty much have no social life. Did you feel that way before Facebook? Or did you just feel that way compared to everyone else after? Facebook for me is necessary because it's such a helpful business tool these days (connecting like minds to each other is great for business) but I ignore my personal page like a plague!! I have to have a personal account for the business account to exist but if I could ditch the personal page right now, I would. People put their best foot forward on Facebook and things do seem just so perfect at first but reality is completely different. I wouldn't compare myself to anything you see on Facebook but if it woke you up to the idea your social life might need some work, sounds like it was a good thing for you in that regard because you evaluated your life and think part of it needs improvement. Just don't try to accomplish a social life that compares to what you think you're seeing on Facebook. Get a social life together that's more realistic and good for you as a person. Whatever level will make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 It's a good thing in some aspects, gigs, the chat facility etc, but the crap that gets on there from people you know really gets on my nerves. I don't post anything on it but use it only for the above reasons. It's a personal propaganda medium and causes so much grief for some people and I agree, if you have low self esteem or mental health issues it can turn into a total landmine and exacerbate your low feeling...that's when I de activate for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Monm82 Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 People put their best foot forward on Facebook and things do seem just so perfect at first but reality is completely different. I wouldn't compare myself to anything you see on Facebook but if it woke you up to the idea your social life might need some work, sounds like it was a good thing for you in that regard because you evaluated your life and think part of it needs improvement. Just don't try to accomplish a social life that compares to what you think you're seeing on Facebook. Get a social life together that's more realistic and good for you as a person. Whatever level will make you happy. Very good points. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
DeluxeYou Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 Until not too much time ago I would have agreed with you, but I have found that by not having facebook at all you risk being left behind when it comes to meetings and such. Just to say one, there recently was a conference at my university which I would have missed if I didn't have facebook, since they advertised it there. It's a tool. Like all tools it can do damage if it's not used properly, but it can do some good if you use it right. When the negatives outweigh the benefits, you know the option that's left...bail out! Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I've considered making a separate account on FB for just friends/acquaintances, people I meet out in the world just for the social BS, something light that I could use just to stay connected to those people. Because I don't know why people want to mix all their worlds into FB...hookups/people they just met/slept with other night, ex-bf's/gf's, potential romantic interests, "friends", co-workers, family and then posting sh** everyone can see, like if grandma really wants to see all that (I guess people have restrictions on certain content but that's too much work for me) Otherwise for now, I just use FB for family. I'm not really interested in others people's lives to be quite honest...them posting pictures of their wedding, babies, animals, themselves half-naked, there's also only so many partying pictures and duck faces one can take too, that 50 other guys are "liking" a...so for myself, not the most interesting thing in the world, I check FB for 10 seconds to make sure everyone is still alive then I'm off of it. If I want to see how someone is really doing I call them/see them when possible. As far as taking it as a serious reflection of their true lives............HA!. Some people are really concerned with how people view their lives and want to be a source of envy, others look at people's lives through tiny pictures and moments and perceive them to have this awesome life because they're unhappy or depressed in their own. Just don't be one of those depressive people on FB, that shares your relationships history and the drama of your life and relationships. Everyone knows you'll be with a new person come next year this time anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I have no problem with all my worlds colliding because I got nothing to hide and I don't post anything too personal anyway. I always have a feeling that people that are too concerned about protecting their identity/privacy have some skeletons in the closet... I have a lot of coworkers on there but it doesn't concern me. I don't take a sick day even when I am sick, let alone when I am not. I have also noticed that with OLD, I am more attracted to guys that are completely transparent. I equate too much "privacy" with shadiness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I just deleted a bunch of people on FB because I got fed up with the excessive bragging. They were people I will probably never see again anyway; not only do I not see them in person anymore, but we don't chat online either. If I feel annoyed with an actual friend, I won't delete them, but most of my actual friends don't brag like that anyway. They are genuinely happy people. You can always "hide" people's newsfeeds, but I found with a couple of people their status updates were getting through the filters. Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 I just joined facebook. I thought I would catch up with old friends and classmates from way back. Seeing all these people I knew with their own lives and families. It made me feel like such a loser. I have pretty much no social life. Can anyone relate to this? Opinions? Ok! First of all yes. When I first joined I found myself comparing my life to others. That's not a good idea nor is it healthy. Many old insecurities arose and I simply had to take the time to sit with it, then let it go. It's your past and this is your present. Live for the moment & forget about years ago. If it causes you more inner conflict then not, deactivate or delete. Fb really is a playground for show offs. Not a fan. Mea :-) Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 (edited) I'm happy where I'm currently at in my life and am pretty successful and together at this age and also do have a social life, so no, looking at FB doesn't make me feel like a loser, because I'm not. As someone else said, I often feel very fortunate when I see some FB posts where it seems like all some folks are doing is posting petty statuses, embarrassing themselves with it, on their third baby at 23 and I'm like nope don't envy them one bit. If FB is making you feel like a loser with no social life maybe you should think about whether this is true and if you want to change that. I do think people most times put the best forward but that doesn't mean their life is a lie. It is common sense you'll put the good, and if you feel lonely or like a loser because of other people's good, you should think about why. I have friends doing amazing things that I see on FB. I'm happy for them! Just on my timeline today: a photographer friend has had some of his photos featured in a popular bridal magazine, another is on honeymoon in Thailand with her husband, and both just graduated, she is now an MD and he just got his MBA, another is on her way to Ireland with her new baby to meet her husband's family, another was asked to a world peace conference in Korea...shoot...my friends are pretty dope for the most part lol. It inspires me in my own pursuits and if and when I feel like "Damn...I'm not doing as much as I could" based on their profile it just fuels me to put my own stuff in perspective and pursue my own stuff. I don't think that's a bad thing. You shouldn't covet other people's lives as everyone has their own problems but if you have a life you aren't happy with or proud of and if FB makes you feel like that it is worth it to consider if maybe you could be doing more in reality or if it's just an insecurity and you're fine. Edited August 12, 2014 by MissBee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MisUnderstood1 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I don't have FB and don't care much for it. I would love to join in the future tho, just not right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 i don't have a FB either. i don't want to read about others' lives and i don't need people to read about mine, i want to be outside living life. except when i'm on LS, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 It appears to be cool to hate Facebook, but why not use it how it best benefits you? Get rid the bad and embrace the good. Consider every tool in your live to be a hammer. You can hate a hammer if you slam it in your forehead. Or, you use the hammer to build things, to create. Do this with everything in your life, the internet, Facebook, or anything else that we deem as harmful. Also, Facebook may help you to be happy for people, to remove your ego, and to just enjoy other peoples fortunes. It's really a quite helpful transformation. You can't grow as a person with feelings of negativity, jealousy, or disgust. Don't mean to lecture you. Just offering a different outlook. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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