Zero Motivation

[Inflikted]

"Motivation" has always been a huge issue for me. And the reason is because I've settled into the mindset that I'll simply never have what I truly want in life. And what I truly want, of course, is a life with people in it. Companionship.

 

To me, I can't motivate myself, because I feel like I already know, with no uncertainty, that I'll never have what I truly want in life. In my mind, what's the point of doing anything? Why should I care about finding a good job and making a good living? It's not like I'll have people to share my good fortune with anyway. Why should I bother thinking about moving out of my parents' home? It's not like I have anyone to provide for, or anyone to impress, and it's probably much cheaper to continue with this living situation than to do anything else. Why should I have any interest in pursuing "professional help" that I can't afford? It wouldn't change anything for me, anyway.

 

Heck, I'm still spiraling out of control with my eating habits (not that I was ever "healthy" or "athletic" to begin with, but I was at least "average"), eating tons of junk food left and right. I can feel my clothes getting a little tighter, I feel like I'm getting heavier and more sluggish, and on the inside, I feel "sick". But I just don't care... What difference does it really make? Yeah, maybe I'll cause myself to become ill in the future. Yeah, I'm probably shaving several years off of my life. But who cares? It's not like any of that will matter to anyone.

 

I'm sure some people would say I'm just making excuses to continue living the way I do, but... I mean, how can I not feel this way? I'm wholly convinced that I'll never have what I really want, and thus, I can't bring myself to feel any motivation to help myself in any kind of meaningful way. At this point, I'm just going through the motions, waiting until I die.

 

I have no one. Been alone all my life. The world is entirely indifferent to me. Every time I think I've met someone I might have a connection with, I turn out to be wrong. Everyone I've tried to be "social" with has been uninterested. What good is a life spent in complete solitude? What I want most, I'll never have. So how do I find the motivation to do anything at all? I feel like I'm just a shell of a person, going through the motions, watching life pass me by, waiting for death.

[lucy_in_disguise]

It's a catch 22. Most people are put off by negativity, and you have it in droves. You can continue living as you are, turning belief into self-fulfilling prophecy. Or you can muster some strength to make a change.

 

Your choice.

 

You're right that what you choose matters to no one but you.

[topaMAXX]

It sounds like you don't know what you want in life. If you did, then you would easily have the motivation to get it.

 

What you need to do right now is challenge yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone. It'll hurt, but it'll be worth it. Even better if you don't feel like doing it, but do it anyway.

 

Good luck!

[Inflikted]

It sounds like you don't know what you want in life. If you did, then you would easily have the motivation to get it.

 

What you need to do right now is challenge yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone. It'll hurt, but it'll be worth it. Even better if you don't feel like doing it, but do it anyway.

 

Good luck!

 

But I DO know what I want in life; I want a normal social life, a normal "love" life, I want to have friends, I want to fall in love, I want to have people in my life. I don't want to be alone, isolated, alienated from the rest of the world like I've been my entire life. And I HAVE tried to have these things in my life. Many times. There was a time where I had confidence, I had motivation, I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone in efforts to connect with people and establish bonds with people. But every single person I've reached out to for friendship or otherwise has "rejected" me.

 

I don't express these sentiments as an individual that's ALWAYS felt no sense of motivation or connection with the world. I've always been alone, yes, but it's only fairly recently (within the last 2-3 years) where all my motivation has been completely drained and depleted out of me. From what I've seen and experienced up to that point, I firmly believe that I will never have people in my life. And with that firm belief in place, I have no will to push forward in life, because in my mind, I've already "lost", and everything I do from here on out is a waste of time.

 

As far as "knowing what I want in life" goes, I mean, sure, I have other little goals in life, like career, but to me, all of it just feels so hollow and meaningless if I never have anyone to share my life with.

[lino]

You should be looking after your health and career for no one but yourself.

 

I know what being single long-term is like and that the will to do it can be tough to muster but women can and will leave you for the stupidest and smallest of reasons. Your career and health won't, provided you're always taking care of them.

 

Do those things for yourself mate.

[Inflikted]

You should be looking after your health and career for no one but yourself.

 

I know what being single long-term is like and that the will to do it can be tough to muster but women can and will leave you for the stupidest and smallest of reasons. Your career and health won't, provided you're always taking care of them.

 

Do those things for yourself mate.

 

I understand what you're saying, but I still don't know how to draw on any motivation for those things.

 

To me, a life spent completely disconnected and without people in it, is simply not a life worth living. While some may argue that my line of thinking is misguided, in my mind, if I can't have friends to share my life with, if I can't have a nice girl in my life to share love with, I don't see a point in doing anything with my life.

 

I guess if you look at things from a different perspective, this line of thinking stems from the notion that nobody in the world wants anything to do with me, nobody in the world cares about me or values me or wants me in their life in any capacity. So why should I feel those things for myself, then? Why should I care about me, why should I value me? Nobody else does.

[yorkie]

infilkted i know how you feel and i also feel like that but you have to battle your depression only you cant change your life to what you eat and what you do as in meet people and have friends but at the moment no one is gonna knock on your door like you are now! and you know deep inside! you want to get fit and i beleive you do but i agree motivating yourself is hard you just got to do it like your life depends on it!

[Elias33]

You may have come to the right conclusions about life. But it is not about being right about that. Even if logic supports what your findings are about you, your life, and your future, it will not help you accomplish all the things you hope to accomplish.

 

You have to learn to take a different approach, a different look upon things that happen to you. Because a negative (realistic?) outlook may be supported by logic, it does not help you achieve your goal. Think beyond what you perceive as your reality, dream if you have to. A negative mind almost never attracts the positive, even if you think you are right.

[Elias33]

I understand what you're saying, but I still don't know how to draw on any motivation for those things.

 

To me, a life spent completely disconnected and without people in it, is simply not a life worth living. While some may argue that my line of thinking is misguided, in my mind, if I can't have friends to share my life with, if I can't have a nice girl in my life to share love with, I don't see a point in doing anything with my life.

 

I guess if you look at things from a different perspective, this line of thinking stems from the notion that nobody in the world wants anything to do with me, nobody in the world cares about me or values me or wants me in their life in any capacity. So why should I feel those things for myself, then? Why should I care about me, why should I value me? Nobody else does.

 

Because that is where it starts, it start with you, yourself. That is how it works.

[Bigcitydreamer]

What makes you so special that you are forced to live a life of solitude? Why is it that you can't make a friend? Is there something you are leaving out or not telling us because I find it very hard to believe that you can't meet a single person to be friends with if you tried.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I've been here so I understand. It's a like falling down the rabbit hole and if you're not careful, you'll remain there too long it will only get harder to escape.

 

The first thing you will have to understand is that you CANNOT tie your happiness and motivation to another person. Happiness lies within and only YOU have the power to create it or kill it. I know that sounds like a tacky bumper sticker but it really is TRUE!

 

If you're not happy with yourself, how will someone else be? It's like the saying from the movie A Field of Dreams, "build it and they will come". The "it" referring to yourself - build a better version of YOU and you will automatically attract people that mirror your inner beauty.

 

How exactly do you do that from where you're sitting? It sounds like you need some medical intervention, at least to start you off. If you're not already on anti-depressants, I would visit your doctor and see if you qualify for some meds. This isn't something to ashamed of and isn't something you want to be on forever but it might help get your head out of the fog long enough to help you see the light.

 

Another suggestion I strongly recommend is if you can afford it or have insurance that covers it, consider some psyho-therapy. There is no shame in this either and in fact, I think everyone could do with some therapy in their lives. If they did, perhaps the world would be a much better place

 

Regardless of these two big steps, I would source out some good books on the market that deal with transformation or motivation. I can certainly recommend a few that I've found to be very useful in my own journey.

 

Maybe enroll in a class that interests you. This is a great way to get out of your head and break some of the bad habits you've created and into something that means something to you. It also puts you in contact with like-minded people where friendships might bloom from.

 

Bottom line is that that there is no way you will succeed unless you put in the work. Period. You can't just wish it or wave a magic wand. Happiness doesn't come from being with someone or the people around us, it comes from within. Stop wasting so much time feeling sorry for yourself and look at this time as YOU time. Take advantage of this hiccup in your life to work on yourself even if it's baby steps. One foot in front of the other is still moving in the right direction.

 

Good luck.

[ltjg45]

I know that feeling, OP. I'm fact. I dare say I am in your shoes right now, having no desire to go after my dreams.

 

Well, not really.

 

The issue is that the dreams I want to aim for is not available so there is little reason for me to work toward them.

 

The women I want is outside of my income range. The jobs I desire is blocked by a default school loan that will take 2 more months to pay off.

 

So I know how you feel.

 

All I can tell you is if you see a woman you are attracted to and she is looking at you for a few seconds, just talk to her as if she is another customer. If she is accepting of your advances, then ask her for her numbers and mention that you want to date her and go from there.

 

That is what I would do if I wanted to date a woman

Unfortunately, I am confident enough to say that I won't meet one worth bothering in my current situation so I have nothing to worry about.

 

Good luck. If you are in the U.S., you are going to need it. The dating game out there is harsh and unforgiving.

[Inflikted]

Because that is where it starts, it start with you, yourself. That is how it works.

 

Perhaps, but again, I haven't always held a negative, defeated, pessimistic outlook on things. I spent the majority of my life trying to "keep my head up" and be the best person I could be, but reality wore me down over the last few years. I feel completely drained, and I can't find the will to keep trying to pretend that things could be good for me if I "try harder".

 

What makes you so special that you are forced to live a life of solitude? Why is it that you can't make a friend? Is there something you are leaving out or not telling us because I find it very hard to believe that you can't meet a single person to be friends with if you tried.

 

*shrug* If there's anything I'm "leaving out", it's not intentional, it would be more due to me not realizing it's a factor. As far as why I have no social life, I have no idea, honestly. I'll admit, by nature, I'm a very introverted, reserved kind of person, and it can take me a while to open up to people, but once I start to open up more, I try to connect with people as best I can. I just get the sense that I can't do it very well. I get the sense that people just don't really care much what I have to say, or what I think.

 

The first thing you will have to understand is that you CANNOT tie your happiness and motivation to another person. Happiness lies within and only YOU have the power to create it or kill it. I know that sounds like a tacky bumper sticker but it really is TRUE!

 

If you're not happy with yourself, how will someone else be? It's like the saying from the movie A Field of Dreams, "build it and they will come". The "it" referring to yourself - build a better version of YOU and you will automatically attract people that mirror your inner beauty.

 

No, I know. I can see why it might sound that way, but I do understand that it's not healthy to base your happiness on external forces. Thing is, while that may be true, humans are generally considered "social creatures". It's in our nature to want to feel companionship. For most people, having a social life, dating, etc., it's not so unreasonable; for me, doing any of that just seems nigh impossible.

 

I'm not exactly wishing for dozens of friends, to be the "life of the party", the "center of attention", to bed several women, or anything like that. If I could just have a few close friends to spend time with, if I could just meet one really awesome girl to date, I'd be fine with that.

 

If I'm being honest, I'm pretty content with my life as is, aside from the lack of any kind of social aspect. I'm finishing my education up soon, and I have a pretty solid idea of what kind of career I want to work at. I have enough hobbies and whatnot (even if they're not things that get me out in the world, meeting people) to keep me distracted for periods of time. But the "hole" that exists for a social life has been growing more and more over time, to a point where I feel overwhelmed by it. It used to be that I didn't really pay it any mind. I'd occasionally ponder on how it would be nice to have a social life, but then I'd just shrug and go about my business without another thought. As time went on, as I continued to fail at connecting with people, as I noticed more and more people around me connecting with each other, it's just started to wear me down. A mild "hunger" for companionship has grown over time into pretty much starvation.

 

Really, I wouldn't change anything about the way I spend my life right now except having people in it, and being able to spend time with those people on a regular basis. Beyond that, I don't really hate my life, it's just that the one hole I've never been able to fill has grown and grown so much over the years that it's taken over everything, to me.

 

As for therapy and/ or medication, my insurance doesn't cover any of that, and unfortunately, I don't have the money to pay for it, myself. I'm barely scraping by as it is, right now.

[melell]

Yeah I kind of think this is all your responsibility. You are in the same boat as most other people...

 

There is no one that motivates me, there is no one that picks out my meals, that goes to the gym for me, that gets me housing, that got my career, that makes me friends, that makes me happy- it is all up to me.

 

It would be so easy for me to give up, give in to being pessimistic and cynical- but I know that it would/has made me feel like ****. Trying, even if you know you won't reach romanticized ideals and whatnot, is better than copping out, because trying really does make life better- even if just a little better.

 

I see where you are coming from though, it is almost an apathy, I know the feeling. You need to try and make your life as good as you can, every little bit of happiness will help.

 

I don't want to undermine how you are feeling, but there are people that have it a lot, lot worse than you, some kind of gratitude training wouldn't be a bad thing.

[Hope Shimmers]

"Motivation" has always been a huge issue for me. And the reason is because I've settled into the mindset that I'll simply never have what I truly want in life. And what I truly want, of course, is a life with people in it. Companionship.

 

To me, I can't motivate myself, because I feel like I already know, with no uncertainty, that I'll never have what I truly want in life. In my mind, what's the point of doing anything? Why should I care about finding a good job and making a good living? It's not like I'll have people to share my good fortune with anyway. Why should I bother thinking about moving out of my parents' home? It's not like I have anyone to provide for, or anyone to impress, and it's probably much cheaper to continue with this living situation than to do anything else. Why should I have any interest in pursuing "professional help" that I can't afford? It wouldn't change anything for me, anyway.

 

Heck, I'm still spiraling out of control with my eating habits (not that I was ever "healthy" or "athletic" to begin with, but I was at least "average"), eating tons of junk food left and right. I can feel my clothes getting a little tighter, I feel like I'm getting heavier and more sluggish, and on the inside, I feel "sick". But I just don't care... What difference does it really make? Yeah, maybe I'll cause myself to become ill in the future. Yeah, I'm probably shaving several years off of my life. But who cares? It's not like any of that will matter to anyone.

 

I'm sure some people would say I'm just making excuses to continue living the way I do, but... I mean, how can I not feel this way? I'm wholly convinced that I'll never have what I really want, and thus, I can't bring myself to feel any motivation to help myself in any kind of meaningful way. At this point, I'm just going through the motions, waiting until I die.

 

I have no one. Been alone all my life. The world is entirely indifferent to me. Every time I think I've met someone I might have a connection with, I turn out to be wrong. Everyone I've tried to be "social" with has been uninterested. What good is a life spent in complete solitude? What I want most, I'll never have. So how do I find the motivation to do anything at all? I feel like I'm just a shell of a person, going through the motions, watching life pass me by, waiting for death.

 

Your problem is that you are looking for someone else to 'motivate' you - to give you validation, when that needs to come from you.

 

That is what others are attracted to, so that is the first step in making friends and significant others. Stop blaming others and look within yourself if you want to change it. People are attracted to others who are comfortable with themselves, self-confident, healthy, who take care of themselves and prioritize themselves. Do you do that? No... so until you make that your #1 priority, you will continue to be in this endless hole.

 

You are in complete control as to whether you want to change things. It's up to you if that's the kind of life you want. Trust me, if you want a relationship, no potential partner is going to look at someone who hasn't made an effort to make a life for themself - take care of themself - love themself. You want to be 'saved' by someone, but YOU are the only person who can save you.

 

Your future is totally up to you and it's all within your own power - decide what attitude you want to have towards it and what future you want for yourself, then work at it. Do it for you, though.

 

I hope you change your thinking, or this will be the definition of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't change it, only you are to blame...

[learning_slowly]

Maybe everybody is being a bit harsh? We all have tough times and deal with it in different ways. Some people find mentors without trying, but yes I agree with them, you are in a situation where you have to do it on your own.

 

The best thing todo could be some volunteer work. It will show you that you are capable and can help others less fortunate than yoursèlf. Then you can realise you will be able to help yourself.

[snappytomcat]

your breaking my heart reading this.

please don't you know you are worthy,but you need to realize this before anyone else can.

get up go for a walk get some fresh air,you have to work on yourself,before you can find someone to share a life with,cause negativity no one wants to be around,its a downer being with someone whos negative,my mom was so negative,that she turned everyone away,but life starts with you,taking care of yourself,other people like to be around coonfident people,and who take care of themselves.

go to a gym,start eating right

good luck to you

[lino]

I understand what you're saying, but I still don't know how to draw on any motivation for those things.

 

To me, a life spent completely disconnected and without people in it, is simply not a life worth living. While some may argue that my line of thinking is misguided, in my mind, if I can't have friends to share my life with, if I can't have a nice girl in my life to share love with, I don't see a point in doing anything with my life.

 

I guess if you look at things from a different perspective, this line of thinking stems from the notion that nobody in the world wants anything to do with me, nobody in the world cares about me or values me or wants me in their life in any capacity. So why should I feel those things for myself, then? Why should I care about me, why should I value me? Nobody else does.

 

I can see where you're coming from.

 

I won't tell you the 'be happy with yourself first before others can' stuff because it means zero to me.I've seen stacks of miserable but desirable guys with women lining up for them.

 

People who spout that line have never spent much time alone and don't know what genuine, long term, involuntary loneliness is.

 

As someone who didn't get into his first genuine relationship till his late 20s I know what it's like to envision a future without anyone to share it with.Thinking about that is very depressing and can cut down even the most upbeat of people.

 

What I will tell you is that at the very least, you need to look after your health and form close and genuine friendships for yourself and yourself only.

Like I said, women will leave you for the most minute and stupidest reasons and if you're in good health and surrounded by real mates, you'll be better equipped to cope.

 

If you want some help with motivation towards healthier eating habits and exercise, feel free to PM me.I can help with that.

[Inflikted]

Your problem is that you are looking for someone else to 'motivate' you - to give you validation, when that needs to come from you.

 

Again, I disagree with this. Like I said before, it's less about looking for validation, and more about a "hole" inside of me that started small and has grown bigger and bigger over the years. Furthermore, I'm not blaming anyone else for any of this. I suppose I could see how you could draw that inference from how I described my interactions with people, but I'm not blaming others for their disinterest in me, I'm actually blaming myself; more than that, I'm inferring that there's something so inherently wrong with me, so irredeemably "bad" that I'm just not worth anything to anyone.

 

And again, your argument would infer that I've been spending much of my life doing this, seeking validation from others, when that has not been the case. I spent most of my life "marching to the beat of my own drum" and simply not caring. But that void has been growing in me, more and more, and it's come to a point where it's just consuming me, completely.

 

your breaking my heart reading this.

please don't you know you are worthy,but you need to realize this before anyone else can.

 

And I used to believe that. I used to tell myself that things would get better, that if I just kept living a life that I could be happy with, that eventually, people would like me for who I am, and all that jazz. And after several years, I just can't find it in me to believe that anymore.

 

How can I? How can I, when I'm 25, and can't make a friend, can't get a date? At this point, time is running out for me. I might as well already say goodbye to the idea of dating, as that window of opportunity is more or less closed; from what I've seen, women tend to not have any interest in going out with a 25 year old guy who's never even been on a proper date, let alone in a relationship, and rightfully so. At best, I can *maybe* still hold out hope for finding friends, but even that's a long shot, at this point.

[Hope Shimmers]

Again, I disagree with this. Like I said before, it's less about looking for validation, and more about a "hole" inside of me that started small and has grown bigger and bigger over the years. Furthermore, I'm not blaming anyone else for any of this. I suppose I could see how you could draw that inference from how I described my interactions with people, but I'm not blaming others for their disinterest in me, I'm actually blaming myself; more than that, I'm inferring that there's something so inherently wrong with me, so irredeemably "bad" that I'm just not worth anything to anyone.

 

And again, your argument would infer that I've been spending much of my life doing this, seeking validation from others, when that has not been the case. I spent most of my life "marching to the beat of my own drum" and simply not caring. But that void has been growing in me, more and more, and it's come to a point where it's just consuming me, completely.

 

Okay, let me rephrase.

 

You are in fact blaming (or at least putting the responsibility to) others for this. This is what you said. "I'm not exactly wishing for dozens of friends, to be the "life of the party", the "center of attention", to bed several women, or anything like that. If I could just have a few close friends to spend time with, if I could just meet one really awesome girl to date, I'd be fine with that." You are putting the responsibility for your happiness on others' reactions to you. YOU are the only one who can change those reactions.

 

That is up to YOU. You are the one who said in your initial post that you have stopped caring and are letting yourself go, and are not working to become happy with yourself such that someone else would love to be around you. Who would want to be around someone who hates themself?

 

You need to stop worrying about meeting other people and focus first on becoming happy with you. Yes, happy with you when you are all alone with no one. Just like I did. Do things that make you a better person and make you feel better about yourself (work, exercise, education, whatever it may be). People easily sense others who are confident in themselves and happy with themselves and have full lives, and those are the people they want to be around. The rest will happen naturally.

 

Don't expect someone to magically want to be with you or value you when you don't even value yourself. The first step is to value YOU. Wish you could see that.

[Inflikted]

Yes, but like I've been saying, I haven't always been this way... The whole "letting myself go" thing has really only been the last 4-6 months. The intense loneliness and sadness has only been festering for about the last two years. Prior to that, I was happy and content with myself and my life. And yet, looking back, it didn't matter how happy and content with myself I was. I was still completely alone and disconnected from everyone, I still couldn't make friends, I still couldn't date. It just didn't really bother me back then as much as it does now.

 

It's not that I don't understand what you're saying, but again, that logic only really applies if I've been a negative pessimistic sad person my entire life. That is not the case... If being a happy, upbeat person is the key to inviting people into your life, then why did I spend the first 23-ish years of my life completely alone and devoid of even the slightest human companionship?

 

I just can't have faith in that line of thinking anymore. Being "happy with yourself" didn't do a thing for me for the vast majority of my life. I just can't convince myself to believe that if I just keep doing that, then I could still find what I'm looking for. From my perspective, it's not about whether or not I "value" myself, it seems as though there's just something about me, on a fundamental level, that repels people completely, and I can't figure out what it is. And that upsets me.

[uglygirl9]

Oh, shut up everyone here. The replies seriously make me want to vomit. He says he has been positive all his life, and when he seeks advice for his depression (at least, it sounds like one) of a few months people scold him for not being positive. Really? Is that the only thing your simple, narrow minds can come up with? But of course, it's easy to blame somebody for everything other people neglected from behind a computer screen. Even though he may be exaggerating his situation a bit, or is an introverted, socially anxious, shy person, the fact remains that apparently no person has ever bothered to get to know him. I think that's sad. And it says more about the people around him than about him.

People believe you can change everything around you by just 'being positive' should do the world a favor and never get a job in mental health care, as a matter of fact they shouldn't even take the time to give their 'advice' on forums as loveshack as it obviously isn't an attempt to truly understand the person they are claiming to 'help', instead it is an ignorant way of acknowledging their own naive worldview and forcing it upon others. OP, please do not listen to these selfish, narcissistic bastards who can't convince me that human company means nothing to them (and if they do...well I won't even go there).

[Strength in Healing]

Your intelligence could be intimidating. It's clear to me based on your grammar and vocabulary that you are above the common person...

 

Listen to me, if I were you, I would just go to the gym. Look up ketogenic diet. I guarantee you you will lose 5-6 lbs every 2 weeks... maybe more.

 

I can help you with a workout plan.

 

Do you smile to other people? Do you laugh? Or do you find you just cannot connect with them, and you make that your reality?

 

No one is fundamentally repulsive. There are personality traits that push people away, but it's a simple matter of finding it and working on getting rid of it.

[Inflikted]

Listen to me, if I were you, I would just go to the gym. Look up ketogenic diet. I guarantee you you will lose 5-6 lbs every 2 weeks... maybe more.

 

I can help you with a workout plan.

 

See, not to come off poorly, here, but I have a lot of reservations about the specifics. What I mean is, I really don't want to go to a gym, because I'm too self-conscious to work out in front of other people. But I also have concerns about "going for a jog", or whatever, because I live in a not-so-safe neighborhood (heck, a few years ago, a postal worker was shot dead in a random act of gang violence just a block or two from where I live). And my home, itself, is much too small to accommodate any kind of proper workout routines. So, I've been pondering on these options for a while, now, but none are particularly appealing to me.

 

Do you smile to other people? Do you laugh? Or do you find you just cannot connect with them, and you make that your reality?

 

I try to be nice and "warm" towards people, yes. I won't lie, I'm a very introverted, reserved, quiet person, mainly to people I don't know very well; I have a lot of trouble initiating conversations and contact with people in general (despite years of "practice"). But I try to be as approachable and kind as I can, as opposed to being cold, angry, and/ or uninterested.

[endlessabyss]

I think people blaming it all on OP is inconsiderate.

 

Friendship is a two way avenue. If OP is initiating discourse with people he is doing his part. The second part is out of his control, which is society accepting him. He can't force himself of people, and he shouldn't have too. I'm sure he brings something unique to the table, just as much as the affluent of society.

 

The sad reality is that friendships are based on a "what can you do for me?" mentality. Can you bring me status? Can you get me women? Do you have nice things I can take advantage of? If you don't have something to offer, people won't want to be friends with you.

 

I can relate to OP in some way, because I have faced this situation over the last several years of my life.

 

I honestly believe that there is nothing wrong with OP, it is everyone else. The reason he seems so pessimistic is because his experiences have shaped his reality. Nothing wrong with that.

 

We all have different destinies in life, different fates that we must accept. Some are meant to be alone, some are not.

 

The sooner you accept your lot in life, the less stressful it becomes. Stop resisting.