Wizeass Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Some background on me… The first part of this year has been terrible. I lost the two most important people in my life (one death, one breakup) and mentally felt like I went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson circa 1985. It's taken a while but I feel like I'm truly done grieving and have embarked on the process of rebuilding. I'm on a mission to come out the other side of this a better man. On that journey, I came across "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. Does anyone have any experience with this book? After reading it I was shocked to discover I possessed almost all of the characteristics for "Nice Guy Syndrome". Here are some: - Self-worth tied to approval from others, particularly women - Hides perceived flaws and mistakes, often through manipulation - Puts other people's needs and wants before their own - Feels disconnected from other men, lacks male friendships - Co-creates dysfunctional relationships - Fears conflict - Represses emotions, tries to stay on a constant even keel - Does not like to draw attention to ones self - Lives a transactional existence, resents others for not reciprocating I'm looking for some feedback from people familiar with the book as to whether or not it was helpful to them. Did the steps to break free of "Nice Guy Syndrome" work for you? Does it stick? Do you now feel like a better, more well-rounded person? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
heartoutside Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Its a good read. I bought it about 5 years ago after a real bad breakup (i also found this site). I have to say it does a great job of opening your eyes and I probably re-read it every year or so. I actually just started reading it again because I found myself starting to go off track. I think every person will take something different from the book, but in the end the important thing is does it open your eyes (which it seems to have already done) and what are going to do about it. Goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I have not read it but now that you mention it, I am interested in reading it, even though I'm female, I like these type self help books and they are always enlightening. I hope other males will chime in with better feedback. There are many threads out there that deal with this topic, by the way, you should do a little searching to learn more that way as well. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
Grich283 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Thanks for the reading tip. I'll have to check it out. Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I'm actually reading it right now...I hate to admit it, but i do see myself in it...I recommend it Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 It's on the coffee table, along with 'The Myth of Male Power' and 'Man's Search for Meaning'. TBH, I really didn't match up well with the criteria offered, though reading did give me some points of reflection on those which did match up. IMO, psychological counseling helped more with my specific subset of perspectives. I also read the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person', which lent some insight into sensory perceptions I have long wondered about. All that happened back when I was going through the divorce process a couple of years ago. IMO, a confluence of events molded an outcome, one I'm comfortable with now. Life goes on. Perhaps I'll donate the book to our local library. Link to post Share on other sites
StringsAndSticks Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Honestly, you shouldn't even waste your time with this book. It was recommended to me, so I read it, and it was horrible. All it is, is a manual on how to be a selfish dick. I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's just the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
strongnrelaxed Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Honestly, you shouldn't even waste your time with this book. It was recommended to me, so I read it, and it was horrible. All it is, is a manual on how to be a selfish dick. I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's just the truth. Spoken like a true "nice guy" OP. This book is not a panacea. But it should give you some real good ideas on how to become more grounded as a man. I never read the book, but I visited the website forum and interacted there for a while. Over time, I realized that I was not like mos of those men and moved on. But I got a lot out of listening to them. It also woke me up to how bad things are for men out there. What an eye opener. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wizeass Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 All it is, is a manual on how to be a selfish dick. Are you sure we're talking about the same book here? I didn't get that impression at all. What I took away from it was how to better learn to tend to your own needs so you aren't putting that stress on those around you. It's on the coffee table, along with 'The Myth of Male Power' and 'Man's Search for Meaning'. I also read the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person', which lent some insight into sensory perceptions I have long wondered about. I'll check those out. Always looking to expand my horizons. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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