SpiralOut Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 (edited) How do you forgive someone who didn't treat you well? This is something I've always struggled with. I'm thinking of an exfriend/exroommate who didn't treat me like a friend, more of a sounding board. Part of it was my own fault for not standing up for myself more. I do feel as though she took advantage of my shyness/passiveness, though, by just dumping all her problems on me constantly. And she always had excuses for why she wasn't able to spend any time with me as an actual friend. I remember she was dating someone at the time and he kept questioning her on why didn't she invite me to do things and she always had some excuse to give him. In certain ways, he was more thoughtful towards me than she was, almost like he felt bad for me that I had such a lousy friend. She did some things that go against my morals. For example the way she treated one of her best friends (whom she is no longer friends with). And just her attitude towards people in general seems really arrogant and negative. But now she has all these things in her life; a husband who is obviously crazy about her (different guy from the other one), a house, car, great career. I guess in some ways I am jealous she has all this. At the same time not really because even while she was going on facebook telling everyone how happy she was and posting pictures of herself smiling, she would then go find me in the kitchen and complain to me about everything. Her job is in the media, so I will see her name or her pictures every once in a while. I have completely cut her out of my life and never think of her unless something comes up to remind me, then I become curious to see if she might have changed since I knew her. And seeing how successful she is makes me sort of angry. Why is it that someone with such a lousy attitude manages to get ahead? Her attitude hasn't even changed based on what I saw this week; she wrote some insults about some people she doesn't like. She called them immature and defensive, which strikes me as ironic. I want to be able to forgive her completely and feel happy that she is doing well with her life. In a way I almost want her to suffer, not just for how she treated me but for being who she is. It's hard to forgive when I feel that way. I just struggle so much in my own life and it's kinda like, why do the *******s always get ahead? It doesn't seem fair. Edited August 3, 2012 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
durentu Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 (edited) forgiveness is not forgetting and it's like a muscle. If your forgiveness muscle had atrophied, then you need to work on it. It's similar to the courage muscle. Edited August 4, 2012 by durentu Link to post Share on other sites
Jazz09 Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 i think you should work harder and build up a great career for you. but stop comparing yourself to her. i faced a quite similar situation. i wanted her to suffer too. however i firmly believe that someday she will pay for whatever she had done. Link to post Share on other sites
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