Mr Scorpio Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 So, during my therapy session yesterday, I was presented with a unique opportunity. My sessions are normally $80/hour. My therapist said that for every dollar I spend out with a woman, he will knock one dollar off the cost of my sessions. The sad part is that A) I don't really have the time to do so with finals approaching and B) even if I did have the time, I couldn't even imagine doing it. I couldn't imagine signing up for a dating site only to see that A) no one is interested or B) my options are so "inferior" when compared to my newly married ex. I don't know where this will really leave me, other than lonely and regreftul. I don't know how to get over the depression that is holding me back from a relationship. The one that I had just fell in my lap. I figure my best option is to "take my talents" to open-mic nights and hope to attract women that way, but with the time constraints that law school presents? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 The sad part is that A) I don't really have the time to do so with finals approaching and B) even if I did have the time, I couldn't even imagine doing it. I couldn't imagine signing up for a dating site only to see that A) no one is interested or B) my options are so "inferior" when compared to my newly married ex. Why the rush? Get your schoolwork over with. Find a job. In the meantime it won't hurt to have a look at the various dating websites and then decide later which one you will pay to join. For the price of two and a half of your sessions with a useless therapist, you could have one session with a Lefkoe Method facilitator and get immediate results. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 So, during my therapy session yesterday, I was presented with a unique opportunity. My sessions are normally $80/hour. My therapist said that for every dollar I spend out with a woman, he will knock one dollar off the cost of my sessions. The sad part is that A) I don't really have the time to do so with finals approaching and B) even if I did have the time, I couldn't even imagine doing it. I couldn't imagine signing up for a dating site only to see that A) no one is interested or B) my options are so "inferior" when compared to my newly married ex. I don't know where this will really leave me, other than lonely and regreftul. I don't know how to get over the depression that is holding me back from a relationship. The one that I had just fell in my lap. I figure my best option is to "take my talents" to open-mic nights and hope to attract women that way, but with the time constraints that law school presents? I love your idea of using an open mic to share your "talents." You will definitely attract women that way plus a creative outlet is far better than $80/hr therapy because you're engaged in something creative that feeds your soul and introduce you to a new social network of other creative types. I did open mics for a few years about a decade ago and met a lot of cool, creative people who I'm still friends with today. Getting up on stage to read my bad poetry (and sometimes funny monologues a la slam poetry) was as nerve wracking as it was fun. You won't have time to be lonely and regretful once you tap into the creative community through the open mics you attend. I recommend going as a spectator first, and then the next time go to sign up and perform. The more regularly you perform and/or attend, you'll begun to see familiar faces and eventually, hopefully make new friends. I assume you're taking a summer weekend class with your law school right now? I did that for the past three years with my graduate education program and it sucked because my previous summers were full of fun activities. I lost the ability to balance my grad school commitments with my need to connect socially and whala, isolation and depression. But so far this summer has been great because I'm done with my program and only have my student teaching and two masters capstone courses to complete along with one state exam. I'm sure your law school has a counseling center which is free. Have you thought of canceling your $80/session therapy to go see a counselor on campus for free, and use that therapy money for fun social activities instead? Just an idea. Being in a transition like grad school/law school can be hard. So don't beat yourself up. Go to an open mic. You'll make friends and meet women to date whom you'll have something in common with. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I will date you, Scorpio, if nothing more than a business arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Time to find a date each week and take her out to an 80.00 meal..I think hokie said he is willing.. Sounds like he feels you don't need therapy for dating and he is trying to get you out there dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Wink Tobasco Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 Your shrink is a nice person who cares enough to take a cut in pay. Aim for a nice lunch date, don't expect to form a relationship, just enjoy having a nice meal with someone. Low pressure. I'd be nice back to your shrink by keeping the lunch tab inexpensive Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Scorpio Posted June 30, 2012 Author Share Posted June 30, 2012 Why the rush? Get your schoolwork over with. Find a job. In the meantime it won't hurt to have a look at the various dating websites and then decide later which one you will pay to join. For the price of two and a half of your sessions with a useless therapist, you could have one session with a Lefkoe Method facilitator and get immediate results. 1) The "rush" from my perspective is that I'm lonely. I'm not even concerned with sex at this point. Just someone to have an intimate relationship with. Someone I can count on and spend time and create memories with. I think that lack of that is adding to my current depression. 2) I've heard you speak of this Lefkoe Method before. I'll google it and see what I can find. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Scorpio Posted June 30, 2012 Author Share Posted June 30, 2012 I'm sure your law school has a counseling center which is free. Have you thought of canceling your $80/session therapy to go see a counselor on campus for free, and use that therapy money for fun social activities instead? Just an idea. Being in a transition like grad school/law school can be hard. So don't beat yourself up. Actually no, the school does not have a counseling center. The State Bar association has a hotline where lawyers/lawstudents can get referals for counseling which I could look into. I probably should. I'm really starting to lose it again. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 I think the open-mic night is a good idea. Make time for it. Consider it a study break. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Actually no, the school does not have a counseling center. The State Bar association has a hotline where lawyers/lawstudents can get referals for counseling which I could look into. I probably should. I'm really starting to lose it again. Also, your city should have a community clinic that offers sliding fee scale counseling sessions. You either pay a few bucks or nothing. Check out that angle for counseling too. I see no reason why a grad student should be shelling out $80 per session when there are cheaper alternatives out there for students. Also, I totally think you should go attend some open mics just to boost your spirit, that will put you among people with creative energies who could offer you potential friendship and also dating opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr Scorpio Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Also, your city should have a community clinic that offers sliding fee scale counseling sessions. You either pay a few bucks or nothing. Check out that angle for counseling too. I see no reason why a grad student should be shelling out $80 per session when there are cheaper alternatives out there for students. Also, I totally think you should go attend some open mics just to boost your spirit, that will put you among people with creative energies who could offer you potential friendship and also dating opportunities. The cheapest therapy that I found available via sliding scale was $40 and that was with students at a university doing it for clinical experience. I figured I'm better off paying more (investing in myself) to try and get this problem figured out before it wrecks the rest of my life. As for the open mic, it is a goal. The problem is finding time to do it when I'm busy with studies. If I took all the time I spend on here, related sites, and the coping chatroom and put it toward practicing then eventually I'd be prepared. Yet, leaning on sites like this and the chatroom provide emotional support that I feel I desperately need. Sad but true. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 The cheapest therapy that I found available via sliding scale was $40 and that was with students at a university doing it for clinical experience. I figured I'm better off paying more (investing in myself) to try and get this problem figured out before it wrecks the rest of my life. As for the open mic, it is a goal. The problem is finding time to do it when I'm busy with studies. If I took all the time I spend on here, related sites, and the coping chatroom and put it toward practicing then eventually I'd be prepared. Yet, leaning on sites like this and the chatroom provide emotional support that I feel I desperately need. Sad but true. So you couldn't find any community clinics in your city? That's strange. What about finding a cheaper therapist? I guess if you're comfortable with the one you have then stay with that person. Since open mics are once a week, just budget aside one or two hours to go and watch one. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts