Envy

[iwanttolive]

I envy my friends who have richer husbands, bigger diamond rings, drive flashier cars, live in posh apartments. They look happier than me too. I feel inferior when I go out with them. I know this is immature thoughts. What can I do to replace this mindset?

[jean-luc sisko]

focus on your own life and happiness.

 

Use what you have now to make your own life more contented.

[marlena]

I envy my friends who have richer husbands, bigger diamond rings, drive flashier cars, live in posh apartments. They look happier than me too. I feel inferior when I go out with them. I know this is immature thoughts. What can I do to replace this mindset?

 

 

Envy is the basest of human emotions but, well, very human. Whenever I feel envy, I try to stop it dead in its tracks. It can only poison me. Personally, I invent all types of mechanisms to ward off the green-eyed monster. You just have to find what works for you.

 

For instance, here are a few:

 

1) All that glitters isn't gold. Perhaps, they are not as happy as they seem.

2) Philosophize: Money can't buy happiness or a life without hardships is a two-dimensional life.

3) They may have the posh cars but I have brains, talent, looks, children, my travels, my freedom ... or whatever else.

4) I must learn to share in other people's joy.

 

And on and on. You get my drift.

 

Anything that will help you rid yourself of this very destructive emotion. I guess what it means, basically, is talking yourself out it.

Edited May 24, 2010 by marlena

[iwanttolive]

I don't have anything that she doesn't have. Not only she's richer, she's smarter and prettier than me!

[marlena]

I don't have anything that she doesn't have. Not only she's richer, she's smarter and prettier than me!

 

Here's the crux of your problem. Stop comparing. Appreciate your life on its own merits.

[marlena]

Oh, and as an after thought, go out, make friends, have fun, build a life for yourself that can offer you pleasure and satisfaction (however that may translate for you).

 

Self-pity is OK for a while, never for too long. If you and your loved ones are healthy, there is no excuse for obsessing over other people.

[marlena]

Another thought. Life is like a set of legos. You construct it, step by step, block by block, floor by floor. It takes time, effort and determination.

 

In short, if things aren't happening, YOU MAKE THEM HAPPEN.

[SouthernSunshine]

I envy my friends who have richer husbands, bigger diamond rings, drive flashier cars, live in posh apartments. They look happier than me too. I feel inferior when I go out with them. I know this is immature thoughts. What can I do to replace this mindset?

 

Be thankful for what YOU have! Money doesn't keep you happy..

[suprisinginsight]

I envy my friends who have richer husbands, bigger diamond rings, drive flashier cars, live in posh apartments. They look happier than me too. I feel inferior when I go out with them. I know this is immature thoughts. What can I do to replace this mindset?

 

 

All the above mentioned are material things...maybe focus on non material things things that your husband does for you.

 

For example I hear this from her friends alot:

" Wow you have been with her to each and every pregnancy check up? I wish I husband came with me to my check ups."

 

What i never hear is

"Whoa is that a 3ct diamond engagement ring you got for you wife, she must be a happy girl."

 

1. Big Diamonds

2. Fancy Cars

3. Big house

 

All the above is just icing on the cake. They are not indicative on how happy a couple is. You can just ask sandra bullock and jesse james.