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What draws you to a person?


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Nikki Sahagin

Attraction and love are two of the most simple and at the same time, complex subjects in the history of human thought and emotion. What attracts one person to a certain individual, repulses and disgusts another. What makes one persons heart beat at a million miles a minute, provokes complete indifference in the next person.

 

What qualities and attributes, either in terms of personality or appearance draw you to a person?

 

For me personally I have always been attracted to dark hair and eyes. I don't know why - it's just my preference. Personality wise, speaking of the man I am currently with, I love generosity, conversation, affection, intensity and passion in a relationship. I am also a bit up in cloud cuckoo land. I like the idea of a fairytale, Romeo & Juliet, completely intense and overwhelming idea of love. In some ways I am attracted to the danger of loving a person but only if they feel the same. I don't like bad boys at all though. Just having a dangerous, intense passion with someone who feels the same. On the flip side I dislike people that aren't touchy feely or cuddly seeing as I am VERY demonstrative and expect the same in return. I also don't really like the strong, silent type....unless they eventually come out of themselves!

 

What sort of thing do you like?

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What qualities and attributes, either in terms of personality or appearance draw you to a person?

 

Personality wise, I'm drawn to people who would have a great sense of humor, a way of expressing themselves that's rather unique and a kind loving heart that's sincere and pure. This applys to both females and males.

 

On the physical side and this is speaking of the male gender only (since I'm not attracted to woman:laugh:) I like a man to be in good shape. Have a nice chest, and very solid arms. Be sort of on the tall side, dark hair and eyes that make you melt.:love:

 

Mea:)

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Since I'm not that tall, I prefer petite women who are in good shape, with toned arms and a nice butt. I prefer Brunettes and Redheads over blondes....dark eyes and a fun personality with a nice smile.

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What draws you to a person?

 

Their aura. The unconscious signals they send out. Physicality matters not. I wouldn't have said that 30 years ago but, reflecting on my attractions over a lifetime, I find it to be accurate.

 

Likely wasn't the answer you were looking for :D

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Nikki Sahagin
Since I'm not that tall, I prefer petite women who are in good shape, with toned arms and a nice butt. I prefer Brunettes and Redheads over blondes....dark eyes and a fun personality with a nice smile.

 

This could be me. Though not sure about the nice butt....:p

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Nikki Sahagin
Their aura. The unconscious signals they send out. Physicality matters not. I wouldn't have said that 30 years ago but, reflecting on my attractions over a lifetime, I find it to be accurate.

 

Likely wasn't the answer you were looking for :D

 

I fully get the aura thing. It's almost that you can meet a person who is physically everything you would want...but there is no spark, no click, no connection, somethings missing.

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I agree it's a vibe, which is a composition of what's inherently at core. The things I look for within the vibe is internal strength, honour, integrity and morality. To use another member's description, someone who lives by a code and is capable of sticking to that code. Someone who's dependable thus rock solid, without the need for a lot of external female validation.

 

Of course, there are other aspects like intelligence, sense of humour, interest and curiosity in the world in reference to politics, econ, making a difference in some small way albeit not obsessively and overall, how things work. He must also have a logical mind, one that is rational v. using rationale to justify dysfunctional actions. He must be a clear communicator, someone who's interested in resolution v. escalation. Most importantly though, he has to be emotionally available and capable of giving, as well as receiving, in love, respect and trust.

 

As for the superficial, lean with a healthy lifestyle, not just for looks but because of the health factor, hence the reference to lifestyle. Tall is nice but negotiable. Also, intense focus on career, with a similar level of intensity as I have.

 

So...guess what? I've just described my snowman! :laugh::love:

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Well,

 

Physical wether some agree or not is the first thing you see...on my end I love tall 6'0 and up,I'm petite and love to be on my tippy toes for that kiss/hug blonde blue eyes a must lol can't help it and skinny and toned cause I'm small myself...as far as personality...a great sense of humor...love sarcasm and optimism its a must also.

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What qualities and attributes, either in terms of personality or appearance draw you to a person?

 

I fancy just one 'type' of male and my husband matches this precisely in terms of physical appearance and personality. This is the typical dark hair, tall, boy next door, Ray Romano thing. In terms of friendships, all of my friends are very simular in terms of being rather quirky. I like unusual people who I can really be myself around. They all have absolutely off the wall sense of humours as well, which is important to me because I think that it is important to laugh at yourself and others! My friends are good role models for my children and love them lots.

 

TBH, I cant let people into my life unless we 'get' each other completely. I would rather be alone than do that. So saying I am very open to people but guard my home like it is a Palace.

 

All of my friends are really good at reading others and have deep intuitions which I admire deeply. LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH! Funny but the connection was instantaneous with my Hubby and friends... no pretending ever occurs. None look simular though. They are all very different in appearance, especially dress sense.

 

Aquaintances - I have a large amount of aquaintances. Mostly they remain as aquaintances because they have personalities which are in some ways very needy. For example, persons who have had a mentally illness like me a lot but I never bring any drama home (number one rule) - but love them all very much.

 

I am not bothered about a persons belief system too much but I seem to attract persons who are open minded towards the great mysteries of life. None of my friends are the sort to have affairs etc. Cant be doing with any of that, although many of us have passed through periods of low self esteem, promiscurity and all have had children except for one person.

 

The most common factor within all of my friendships is that the person is content when they are alone and have interesting ways of defining and living out what it is to be human.

 

All prolific readers too.

 

Regards,

Eve xx

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I'm drawn to people I admire, generally. In the workplace I'll gravitate to people who are a little bossy (in a nice way), efficient, and very organised. Probably because they demonstrate qualities I could do with working on. I'm charmed by people like that if they also have a sane, cheerful quality about them and a good sense of humour. I trust them to have a sense of proportion when it comes to office politics. They remind me of my favourite teachers back in my schooldays. I never liked the cosy, collusive, "me and my girls" types. I liked the ones who had an independent, professional aura about them.

 

Outside the professional setting, I tend to be drawn towards people who strike me as being fun and a bit mishievous, and who share my interest in analysing human behaviour...whether by talking about books, people we know or ourselves. If any of my closest friends were to read my posts on here, they'd probably recognise me pretty quickly from conversations we've had.

 

Honesty, a sense of proportion and a sense of fair play are the things that both types of people I like (at work and at play) have in common. I think you gauge that in people from the way they communicate with others, how they deal with conflict and how much self awareness they show. The people I really click with, I tend to click with quickly. There's just a look in the eyes, certain facial expressions and a general demeanour that tells me "he/she and I will get on."

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lookswise - long dark hair, nice bust, tall, womanly hips.

 

personality - someone who is intellectually inquisitive, who is down to earth, wise, likes to have fun, and isn't bitchy, crude or superficial. i also find women who are quite shy and quiet nice.

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I agree it's a vibe, which is a composition of what's inherently at core. The things I look for within the vibe is internal strength, honour, integrity and morality. To use another member's description, someone who lives by a code and is capable of sticking to that code. Someone who's dependable thus rock solid, without the need for a lot of external female validation.

 

I completely agree with this! I definitely look for these things in just not a man, but of friends. It's very important to me that person has a strong sense of morality, integrity and loyalty. Doing what's right, ahead of yourself. I find it's these traits that are most difficult to find in a person.

 

Besides that, I *need* some who intellectually stimulates me, whether it's through humor, interests or conversation. Someone who is witty and has a unique perspective on the world. I also like boyish mischievousness, who is a kid at heart and know how to have fun and won't bore me. They have to be curious and ambitious and have a drive to do something with their lives. Someone who is creative. Someone who is kind, thoughtful, compassionate and open-hearted.

 

It's easy to find someone who makes you laugh, it's the core values that seem elusive! For instance, someone can be perfect in all ways, but if they are emotionally built differently from you, it will never work.

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but if they are emotionally built differently from you, it will never work.

 

This is so 100% true. It took me years to figure this out. Very important point here.;)

 

Mea:)

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someone is like Joel Osteen :love:

 

This was a disappointment. I was expecting some deep well-thought out reply from you and this is the best you could do?

 

Sounds more like something Lizzie would say.

 

No offense Lizzie. :love:

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This was a disappointment. I was expecting some deep well-thought out reply from you and this is the best you could do?

 

Sounds more like something Lizzie would say.

 

No offense Lizzie. :love:

Yep !

 

someone like Joel would not make me feel like I would be casted out at any time

 

Acceptance is the key :love:

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Superficial: I like a comfortable medium tall (5'9-6'0). Strong arms but not muscular or hard. Generally, lighter hair colors but this is very negotiable.

Science/engineering type guys are awesome. Active and outdoorsy but not obsessed with sports. Not only enjoys reading but also can hold a conversation about a specific work.

I like many types of men but some kind of boy next door or innocent quality seems to do it for me.

 

Personality: Sensitive. Reliable. Strong. Not conventional, but not bohemian--a free thinker. For some reason, I tend to be attracted to men with libertarian political philosophies.

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What qualities and attributes, either in terms of personality or appearance draw you to a person?

 

For me personally I have always been attracted to dark hair and eyes.

 

I also gravitate toward dark hair & eyes in a man. But personality-wise, I'm the opposite of you Nikki - I like the quiet ones with understated demeanors. The Fox Mulder type. Watching the X-Files was absolutely devastating for me. In a good way!!:bunny:

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