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i think i figured it out! (it = myself)


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Hey!

 

well, you know i cant just give up, i have to understand things.

 

what ive been thinking about is how this guy who recently went off to college managed to put such a spell on me that i cant get him out of my mind easily.

 

i realized ... that i dont like him. its more like im envious of his life. i'd like to have the part-time job he has, id like to have his calm/who-cares attitude of his, id like to be able to do presentations on the spot like he does, id like to be persistent like he is, i'd like to be good at sports like he is, i'd like to make friends as easily as he does, ETC ...

 

i realized that i am basically competing with him. having him like me was simply to make up for the disadvantages i think i have compared to him.

 

i dunna if this is pure bs to u, but this makes sense to me ...

 

i guess i dont really have a question ... but now i see what i want - i dont want HIM, i want to have a life as enjoyable as his is! (or at least the way he presented it to me)

 

what made me feel so bad about him not coming back from college was that - he was having a fun party life there, and i was stuck at home with some relatives. it's not him, it's his life-style that i want!...

 

Thanks for reading :)

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We often look for partners who compliment us with qualities which we feel we do not possess or to which we aspire. Nothing wrong with that.

 

I don't think you were competing with him. You admired him because he was able to be and do things that you admired. That's what attraction is all about.

 

I don't understand why you have to analyze the hell out of this. Just move on and make yourself happy, whatever it takes, as long as you don't hurt anybody.

 

If you meet somebody who can do and be all thing things you want to, take him into your life. Maybe he can teach you some things. Maybe you can love in him the things that you feel are missing in yourself. That's how partners compliment each other.

 

Now forget about the guy and go find someone else you enjoy being with and stop wasting your time.

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