Everything doesn't have to have a diagnosis...

[boshemia]

Why does everything have to have a diagnosis, why is being different somehow wrong?

 

I've been in counseling for a year this time, and yes it is really helping. The only problem I am having is that he keeps trying to label me. Well, maybe you are ADHD, no... PTSD, then it was bi-polar, and then borderline personalitly disorder... I'm not sure what he has in mind next.

 

I do show 99% of the charisterics of ADHD and PTSD, or I have in the past. Other than long periods of depression in my past the only bi-polar episodes I've had were under extreme periods of stress. Times when I suffered from what people would call "nervous breakdown" and the borderline fits my teenage self to a T, but I outgrew a lot of that stuff years ago.

 

I am eccentric, I am prone to fit into the idiosyncratic personality profile...

 

non-conformity

dreaming

the spirit

visions

mysticism

eccentricity

freethinking

idiosyncratic feelings and belief systems, worldview, and approach to life

odd habits

self-direction

independence

the occult

the extrasensory

the supernatural

abstract and speculative thinking

being inner-directed

observing others

new experiences and feelings

rapture

freedom from rules

 

I just don't see anything WRONG with most of it. I am willing to work on behaviors that cause problems for myself or others... but at the same time, many of the things listed above are parts of myself that I am not only comfortable with, but I actually LIKE!

 

Having these little personality quirks are what makes us human, even more, they are what make us unique.

 

Why is it that therapy seems to eventually direct itself to making you a normal, functioning, and acceptable part of society. Man, if I gave up the parts of me listed above... I would cease to be myself, and I wouldn't be happy being anyone else

 

Why can't it just be OK to be a little strange without slapping a diagnosis on it and trying to medicate it?

[boshemia]

Ha, Ha! When reading my post, I realized that my profile quote actually answered it for me... too funny!

[pelagicsands]

Why can't it just be OK to be a little strange without slapping a diagnosis on it and trying to medicate it?

Have you stopped taking your pills again??

 

Actually, you sound like a narcissist. You need to learn to love others as you would love yourself.

[amaysngrace]

Ha, Ha! When reading my post, I realized that my profile quote actually answered it for me... too funny!

 

You can add "enlightened" to your list.

 

I'm like you in many ways, Bo-shee. And most things I wouldn't give up, because like you say, or I wouldn't be me.

 

Maybe he's looking for a definitive diagnosis so he can prescribe a pill for it?

 

Maybe he goes to therapy on his down-time to talk about what's wrong with him?

[pelagicsands]

Ha, Ha! When reading my post, I realized that my profile quote actually answered it for me... too funny!

Yes, you seem to have hit your "problems" right on the head.

[boshemia]

Pills are icky, yucky, and I don't like them dang it! I fail to see the reasoning behind taking pills that make me feel worse after taking them than I did before I took them. Ha!

 

Ehh, the only pill I've recently stopped taking are my muscle relaxers though... so my muscles are delightfully tense he he he... sooo what's our point?

 

Still, why must we medicate EVERY difference? Whatever happened to the good old days when it was okay to be the strange old lady in the big house with a hundred cats. Yeah she mowed her lawn in her housecoat, and talked to her fencepost... but at least she was interesting!

[pelagicsands]

Still, why must we medicate EVERY difference?

For the same reason that milk doesn't come with cream on top anymore.

[amaysngrace]

Pills are icky, yucky, and I don't like them dang it! I fail to see the reasoning behind taking pills that make me feel worse after taking them than I did before I took them. Ha!

 

 

I agree. Pills are suppose to make you feel good. At least that's how I grew up.

 

I think it's very boring to have some cookie-cutter life. Living in some cookie-cutter development with a bunch of cookie-cutter friends.

 

BORING...may as well take a nap and call it living.

[pelagicsands]

BORING...may as well take a nap and call it living.

Dreaming is so much more fun than doing my daily tasks. I do some of my best boring in my deep sleep.

[RecordProducer]

Boshemia, your mind is beautiful! I will PM you when I have time with a detailed answer. It's important to me (and to you) to tell you what my opinion is on this. In the meanwhile, enjoy your personality.

 

P.S. I am pretty sure you have none of the disorders your therapist mentioned to you. But he has to justify the money he receives somehow... Since he is the hammer, he has to convince you that you're a continuous chain of nails. He has to persuade you that you need therapy (his service), because if you're fine, you don't need him.

 

If I told you that every producer I've PAID to work on my songs told me that my songs were great (so that I give him the job or otherwise they're not worth working on), would it surprise you? No. You'd see it as part of his marketing plan, something like smiling while asking you if you want fries with your fries. So why can't you see that therapists are just selling their service and thus applying any marketing tools necessary to pay off their huge mortgages and kids' college tuitions?

[Wedded25]

... he has to justify the money he receives somehow... Since he is the hammer, he has to convince you that you're a continuous chain of nails..... You'd see it as part of his marketing plan ...

Interesting that you mention "marketing plans." Get thyself a load of this:

 

Once when I was in college, I actually peeked in a few issues of Archives of General Psychiatry and the American Journal of Psychiatry. I found that ad agencies engage in EXACTLY the same kind of hucksterism when pitching drugs to shrinks as they do when pushing any product to the general public.

 

My favorite (priceless!) example: An ad for the high-voltage antipsychotic Serentil had a close-up of a Royal Doulton porcelain figurine: a woman in an orange dress, holding a teacup and looking dreamily off into the distance. The lead copy read, "There is a brooding quality to this figure. She seems aloof, cut off from reality ... possibly schizophrenic in demeanor." Presumably to comply with copyright restrictions, they added, in tiny print, "Actual title: Romance." :eek:

 

One cannot win, can one?

[boshemia]

I wont deny the improvements made since I have been in therapy. Learning to accept responsibility for my own mistakes wasn't near as difficult as learning to let others take responsibility for their own actions...

 

I'm still not sure about the self esteem thing, I mean... I feel pretty good about myself for the most part. It's better than it was, but he still says I have low self-esteem.

 

He says I am avoiding intimacy because I actually enjoy being alone. I used to hate being alone, I couldn't stand it... now I have times when I prefer it. I also have times when I miss hanging out with friends and family, and I go hang out with them...

 

Maybe I am avoiding intimacy, but I don't care... lol... he keeps encouraging me to reconcile with my husband, which I am "trying" but I'm not really into it right now. I can see myself happily single for the rest of my life. I've been married twice, it didn't work... and I'm just not keen on trying it all again.

 

Maybe someday the right guy will come along, someone I can have a real connection with. Someone who will love me for who I am, and not be obsessed with changing me into a "normal" person. I wouldn't mind just finding someone I can have an intelligent conversation with... off of LS that is. Right now, it just isn't a priority.

 

I really wish he'd quit pushing me on the relationship issue...

 

If we are avoiding something and don't realize it, then maybe it's a problem... but if it is a conscious decision to live our life a certain way, eccentric or not... then really shouldn't that be up to us?

[boshemia]

Interesting that you mention "marketing plans." Get thyself a load of this:

 

Once when I was in college, I actually peeked in a few issues of Archives of General Psychiatry and the American Journal of Psychiatry. I found that ad agencies engage in EXACTLY the same kind of hucksterism when pitching drugs to shrinks as they do when pushing any product to the general public.

 

My favorite (priceless!) example: An ad for the high-voltage antipsychotic Serentil had a close-up of a Royal Doulton porcelain figurine: a woman in an orange dress, holding a teacup and looking dreamily off into the distance. The lead copy read, "There is a brooding quality to this figure. She seems aloof, cut off from reality ... possibly schizophrenic in demeanor." Presumably to comply with copyright restrictions, they added, in tiny print, "Actual title: Romance." :eek:

 

One cannot win, can one?

 

*sigh* and once again we have the question, does art come from insanity or does insanity come from art. Or... maybe that's just me.

[boshemia]

Boshemia, your mind is beautiful! I will PM you when I have time with a detailed answer. It's important to me (and to you) to tell you what my opinion is on this. In the meanwhile, enjoy your personality.

 

P.S. I am pretty sure you have none of the disorders your therapist mentioned to you. But he has to justify the money he receives somehow... Since he is the hammer, he has to convince you that you're a continuous chain of nails. He has to persuade you that you need therapy (his service), because if you're fine, you don't need him.

 

If I told you that every producer I've PAID to work on my songs told me that my songs were great (so that I give him the job or otherwise they're not worth working on), would it surprise you? No. You'd see it as part of his marketing plan, something like smiling while asking you if you want fries with your fries. So why can't you see that therapists are just selling their service and thus applying any marketing tools necessary to pay off their huge mortgages and kids' college tuitions?

 

I do appreciate some of the help... maybe I just need to get specific about what help I want lol.

[Trimmer]

I do appreciate some of the help... maybe I just need to get specific about what help I want lol.

That's an interesting point. I've been going to a therapist for over a year now, and I've never felt like she was trying to pigeon-hole, maneuver, or label me. But my approach from the start has been to use her as a guide, a sounding board, and a tool in a process that has been largely directed and motivated by me. I've always felt like the point of therapy was to serve my needs, not to submit myself blindlly and passively to external dissection. As such, I think of her as my professional assistant in that process, and I've been satisfied with the direction I've gone and the progress I've made.

 

Also, I have to believe that different therapists can be very different in their approaches; did I just get lucky that I found one right away with whose approach I find resonance? Or is it simply because I went in with some sense of what I wanted to get out of it?

 

So you joke with the "lol" but I think you may be on to something there...

[Wedded25]

So you joke with the "lol" but I think you may be on to something there...

Trimmer speaketh the truth, boshemia. This tendency toward snap-judgment labeling is becoming all too prevalent:

 

(1) I once was feeling despondent in college and thought I might be suffering from depression, so my parents said I should go to the U health center and see a certain psychiatrist -- specifically, the one who'd treated the football team's quarterback for performance anxiety. (This was an accolade? I don't care a hoot for sports.) The guy turned out to be snappish and peevish, and couldn't have taken two minutes to fire off a laundry list of symptoms before telling me, "The only reason I didn't diagnose you as manic-depressive is that you don't have trouble sleeping." Imagine -- one symptom away from the wrong pills for the wrong problem ...

 

(2) A ladyfriend of mine who's a musician/composer/artist ran into this too. She was struggling with the bodily aftereffects of certain traumas and was thinking panic disorder/PTSD ... but after she'd briefly described a typical day of artistic pursuits (e.g., staying up way late at night to pursue a promising theme in an instrumental piece) to a psychiatrist, shrinky said, "You're bipolar. No doubt about it. All the signs are there." Luckily, my friend had the spine to put her in her place by reminding her that those in the arts can't always keep "normal" schedules, and that her schedule had nothing to do with the problem at hand. Can you be as forthright with your counselor about his desire to label you?

 

(3) Finally: I understand that mental-health intake at the larger HMO's is now done by something called "decision trees" -- if patient has these symptoms, proceed to this branch of the tree and ask these questions; if those symptoms, proceed to that branch and ask those questions. Eventually a diagnosis is arrived at ... after no more than FIFTEEN MINUTES! And any doctor who takes longer than that is reprimanded! :shock:

 

Best of luck, {{{boshemia}}} ... at the prices your therapist is being paid, you deserve better than to be put in a diagnostic box.

[Wedded25]

Oops: lost a paragraph above while trying to fix a duplicate post:

 

(4) Then there was the time when I was in high school that my parents sent me to a "therapist" they'd heard raves about, without knowing that he was a Christian counselor ... or that I was an atheist. Imagine my surprise to find out that all my problems arose because I "had a distorted image of Christ."