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Depression and Bitterness


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Old 20th December 2017, 6:10 AM   #1
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Depression and Bitterness

Anyone ever have depression within a spouse? And bitterness?
It has come to my attention that my spouse is depressed. The depression has been around for quite sometime, and prior to our marriage. It finally hit me when she made comment about being depressed during a little texting argument. But, then I remembered a medicine she was Rx. Looking it up wasnt something I did that many years ago, as I just believe her.
After connecting dots, her previous marriage has a reconciliation, infidelity and some alcohol/drug issues too. This caused her depression, and seeing Doctor for Rx. Its not a normal depression med, and I was told it was for sleeping help. Who am I to argue, ask..
She went off it a while back, and ever since then has been more depressed and bitter. All of this seemed to be because of our marriage issues, hence we are now separated. She has good cause, but nothing like her previous marriage..
ANyways, any idea how to maybe get her to see a Doctor and go on meds? I am not a fan of, but that and counseling may help her. I am more worried about her than my marriage. She is just that awesome to me.
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Old 20th December 2017, 11:18 AM   #2
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Talk to her. Ask how you can help her. Tell her you love her.


I'm depressed. I try not to be bitter. DH tries to soothe me when I get really bad.
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Old 21st December 2017, 9:56 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Steve40th396 View Post
ANyways, any idea how to maybe get her to see a Doctor and go on meds? I am not a fan of, but that and counseling may help her. I am more worried about her than my marriage. She is just that awesome to me.
You are not a fan of her seeing a doctor or going on meds?

I feel that your support is very important if you truly care and that starts by being very open to the options available for her to be better. I find that when people are not fans of something they tend to be cynical and offer less, unconditional support than they need to.

Talk to her and perhaps entice/encourage her by taking her to her sessions? Not necessarily joining in, of course. IDK, maybe even this is not a good idea? Anyway, talking to her and encouraging her in a fully supportive way would be helpful.

I was married to a physician who I believe had a similar attitude. She was against using drugs to deal with depression. The reality is that it works for many people and it is a viable option. I always found her attitude a little interesting.
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Last edited by simpleNfit; 21st December 2017 at 9:59 AM..
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Old 22nd December 2017, 2:48 AM   #4
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Speaking from experience, sometimes when you are depressed, you just cannot take care of yourself. This includes keeping up with meds and going to counseling/or finding a counselor. I don't know why she went off of the meds. It is common for those who need them to go off of meds when they are stable, only to spiral downward when they go off of them.

As someone who is close to her, despite the present marital situation, if she will let you...be there.

Help her find a psychologist for counseling and a psychiatrist or family Dr. to go back on meds. Help her through the process. I agree that at least in the beginning, if she is open to it, driving her to appointments shows immense support.

Blessings to you and your wife!
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Old 22nd December 2017, 6:27 AM   #5
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Look if you told me your wife was having asthma, or heart problems, or migraines... would you do everything you could to help her get to the doctor?

Depression is usually an illness - although it can be situational based - or situational enhanced. But in either base a psychiatrist is needed and possible a therapist as well.

Past hurts and loss for sure can trigger things. Just like other illness or injuries can be triggered. It might need meds or therapy or both.
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Old 24th December 2017, 7:29 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by simpleNfit View Post
You are not a fan of her seeing a doctor or going on meds?

I feel that your support is very important if you truly care and that starts by being very open to the options available for her to be better. I find that when people are not fans of something they tend to be cynical and offer less, unconditional support than they need to.

Talk to her and perhaps entice/encourage her by taking her to her sessions? Not necessarily joining in, of course. IDK, maybe even this is not a good idea? Anyway, talking to her and encouraging her in a fully supportive way would be helpful.

I was married to a physician who I believe had a similar attitude. She was against using drugs to deal with depression. The reality is that it works for many people and it is a viable option. I always found her attitude a little interesting.
Not a fan of meds some doctors put people on, sorry about that. Some meds make people violent or zombies.
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Old 24th December 2017, 9:48 AM   #7
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I have to be honest, I never found much that worked for my depression but I had a mix of depression and anxiety/worry/anger. I did end up finding a good drug for the anxiety/worry/anger.

Depression is harder to treat (IMHO) - especially if there is an underlying "reason" for some it. Therapy, exercise, activities, and other approaches can help. However meds are worth a try as well.
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