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how to like my middle aged body


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Old 10th July 2017, 10:06 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
But is there something I can do, short of surgery? I have tried spanx. That just keeps the fat from iiggling. A big part of it, is I don't know HOW to dress my new shape. How / where do I learn that?
I've found that empire-waisted dresses work well on pear-shaped bodies. (I also like them because they make me look a bit taller ) Different empire-waisted dresses fall very differently, so while one cut might make you look 'pregnant', another might not.

People are giving you a lot of advice on diet/exercise and while it's your prerogative if you choose to do so, I don't think that really solves the problem. I think that no matter what you choose to do in that aspect, it is still worth taking the trouble to try and make peace with the fact that there will always be something you dislike in your body. Even professional models have something they dislike about theirs. I think this is generally more difficult for women, with the way we are brought up by society. It's entirely possible that you look just fine in your dresses, that you look like a normal and beautiful person with flaws.
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Old 10th July 2017, 10:20 AM   #62
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The good news is I finally found a dress for next weekend. That was the impetus for my mini rant -- I had nothing to wear & couldn't find something flattering.


I did use the internet to research flattering clothes styles for me now. the article talked about flowy clothes, asymmetrical hems & ruching. I found a halter style gown with a ruffled neck line ruching across my problem middle & a diaphanous full skirt. It's quite flattering & does make me look taller because it makes my legs look very long.




I know more exercise is required & I have to stop drinking my calories (soda, juice & wine). I did it before. I can do it again. It just takes planning & consciousness which sometimes is more effort then I can manage. The "bad" high calories foods are so much easier.
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Old 10th July 2017, 10:23 AM   #63
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I have naturally broad shoulders and solid arms, so I really have to get over the "weights will make me even broader" fear and accept I'll never have wispy, dainty little arms.....so they might as well be strong I guess lol
Honestly, I prefer strong firm arms on women. I like a woman who looks like she can take care of herself and lift more than a few lbs. Dainty arms don't do it for me. But as I said a post or two above, that's me. Others have different views.
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Old 10th July 2017, 10:24 AM   #64
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The "bad" high calories foods are so much easier.
Ain't that the truth! I had chicken wings and fries last night..yep, real good for me!
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Old 10th July 2017, 10:35 AM   #65
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Honestly, I prefer strong firm arms on women. I like a woman who looks like she can take care of herself and lift more than a few lbs. Dainty arms don't do it for me. But as I said a post or two above, that's me. Others have different views.
TBH the 'look' doesn't always equates 'function' - in my youth I was very thin (like 110-115 lbs at 5'7) with no visible muscles but I was moving around furniture (and other heavy objects) like crazy - I relocated myself several times as well as a number of stronger looking friends
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Old 10th July 2017, 10:38 AM   #66
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Well calories are calories - whether you get them from 'bad' or 'good' foods doesn't really matter for the purpose of weight loss as long as you keep your kcal count low...

I'm expecting people raging about it... But zero-calorie sodas are unlikely to affect your weight loss. Maybe that's the way to transition to not drinking your calories.


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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
I know more exercise is required & I have to stop drinking my calories (soda, juice & wine). I did it before. I can do it again. It just takes planning & consciousness which sometimes is more effort then I can manage. The "bad" high calories foods are so much easier.
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Old 10th July 2017, 10:56 AM   #67
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When it comes to exercise, It doesn't really matter whether you are happy with your body or not or what age you happen to be...The cosmetic part(for me, anyway) is pretty low on the list...even though I am pretty happy with what I look like...esp at my age...

The real benefit is in how you feel and what effect it has on your body and mind...There is no better feeling than waking up the day after a great workout and feeling good, strong and confident...My mind is sharper, I feel lighter on my feet..Mood and sex drive improved....You just feel so much better when you are in shape....and it really doesn't have to be extreme shape, either...

TFY
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Old 10th July 2017, 11:09 AM   #68
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Sloppyseconds. I have sort of made peace with the #s but I can't find a sty;e that looks good. Everything either highlights my worst feature or I feel matronly in it.
diagonal long lines or vertical lines work well. If you are tall, you can get away with more skirt styles, but if you are short, avoid those maxi dresses. They always say dark colors are forgiving, which is true, but you CAN have color if it is blocked or the pattern is not too busy. Avoid lots of bling in the areas you DON'T want to highlight. Wrap dresses are great if your middle is thicker than you'd like. Nice sleek heels will make your legs look thinner and longer, which actually makes the rest of your body look somewhat leaner. Also, formal pantsuits can be great for someone who isn't rail thin anymore. And matte fabrics will be better than shiny or clingy ones.

Also, accentuate what you LOVE. If you have a long neck, put your hair up. If you have full lips, paint on that lipstick. If you have great hair, use your most flattering style. And accessorize.

My ,middle aged body is larger than my 20-something was too. I was a lot like you - always a 6. But I actually like myself better and feel MORE confident in this body. Because the woman inside it knows her stuff
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Old 10th July 2017, 11:15 AM   #69
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Oops, I just read you found a dress - and it sounds gorgeous.
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Old 10th July 2017, 11:38 AM   #70
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Well calories are calories - whether you get them from 'bad' or 'good' foods doesn't really matter for the purpose of weight loss as long as you keep your kcal count low...

I'm expecting people raging about it... But zero-calorie sodas are unlikely to affect your weight loss. Maybe that's the way to transition to not drinking your calories.

I know my problems especially 150 empty calories in soda. But to lose weight I can only consume 1200 calories per day. To feel full my diet has to be protein, fruit & veggies only. I don't like the taste of diet soda or coffee so I'm left with water & tea only. It gets boring. Also I don't get the caffeine jolt of sugared soda.


Short of surgery which I won't do, I will always have this belly. Even when I was good & dropped 20 pounds the belly didn't really go away. It would take lipo & I won't do that.


So again, I'm trying to find better ways to camouflage my problem areas so that I can continue to enjoy life. I'm not "fat", I just have a bigger belly then I'd prefer. MY BMI is within normal range.
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Old 10th July 2017, 12:04 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
I know my problems especially 150 empty calories in soda. But to lose weight I can only consume 1200 calories per day. To feel full my diet has to be protein, fruit & veggies only. I don't like the taste of diet soda or coffee so I'm left with water & tea only. It gets boring. Also I don't get the caffeine jolt of sugared soda.


Short of surgery which I won't do, I will always have this belly. Even when I was good & dropped 20 pounds the belly didn't really go away. It would take lipo & I won't do that.


So again, I'm trying to find better ways to camouflage my problem areas so that I can continue to enjoy life. I'm not "fat", I just have a bigger belly then I'd prefer. MY BMI is within normal range.
I'm in the same boat.

My problem area has always been my stomach also. When I get off track, it doesn't take longer than a day or two to see the results on my stomach. As a matter of fact, my workout and diet goals can be simplified to keeping fat off my stomach and getting stronger. Those two things lead to what I consider success. Make me look and feel my best.

My diet is primarily protein, vegetables, and fruit also. Nuts and seeds. Water. Not even coffee or tea though I like both. The challenge for me is how to bring in more variety to keep things interesting. I've been adding foods I wasn't familiar with before and learning to prepare dishes in different ways. That is keeping things interesting to me so far.
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Old 10th July 2017, 8:43 PM   #72
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The look that you refer to (toned but 'smooth' with a bit more of body fat) - e.g. J. Lawrence - is also not what I'm going for... I like thinner, but again not much muscle around the limbs and waist - more like e.g. Nicole Kidman or Megan Fox - not sure these are the best examples but I think you get the idea)
Yep, understand.

In this case I'd be training mainly cardio. You pretty much never see a distance runner, either male or female, who is "built". I still think its a mistake to deny resistance training though as it can have real health benefits, particularly as you age, but keep the weights low and the reps high, along with plenty of traditional cardio should keep you in shape but still with the thinner look you are after.
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Old 10th July 2017, 8:49 PM   #73
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My problem area has always been my stomach also. When I get off track, it doesn't take longer than a day or two to see the results on my stomach. As a matter of fact, my workout and diet goals can be simplified to keeping fat off my stomach and getting stronger. Those two things lead to what I consider success. Make me look and feel my best.
Its a big big issue for me. I had abs when I was young, but I was overall underweight for my age and height.

I've pretty much given up on having a six pack. It requires more dedication than I will ever have time for at this stage in my life. I can be pretty lean everywhere but still carry a little wobble in my lower abs, to remove that I need to be in calorie deficit and this, together with continued weight training leads me straight to an overtrained state where I start to lose muscle mass elsewhere in my body.

I know there there is a fine line that serious people can tred here, enough calories to grow or maintain but still keep their abs, but you need to really focus and dedicate yourself to the goal and I just can't do it.
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Old 10th July 2017, 9:07 PM   #74
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I find it ironic that a post started by a middle aged woman looking for body acceptance has been hijacked into a discussion by men on what female body types they find attractive....and discussing their own gym workouts.
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Old 10th July 2017, 9:20 PM   #75
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I find it ironic that a post started by a middle aged woman looking for body acceptance has been hijacked into a discussion by men on what female body types they find attractive....and discussing their own gym workouts.


Well, that's not fair.

There are men and women on this site who can comment freely on any thread. The thread wasn't hijacked. Some of us were sincerely trying to help and feel that we face similar issues though we may be male. And similar in age.

Her problem is not unique to women. As you can see, we face it and struggle with it too.

Last edited by MidKnightDreams; 10th July 2017 at 9:29 PM..
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