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how to like my middle aged body


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Old 9th July 2017, 9:16 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy_K View Post
If you want to be trim in middle age, you may have to give up the wine.
Say it ain't so... This is the saddest thing that I've read in this discussion.
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Old 9th July 2017, 9:25 AM   #32
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Thanks everybody. You made me feel less alone.

You also reinforced that I need to get back into the gym. Some cardio & more weight training.

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If you want to be trim in middle age, you may have to give up the wine.
And that is exactly why I will never have a flat stomach again.
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Old 9th July 2017, 9:29 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post
Say it ain't so... This is the saddest thing that I've read in this discussion.
I know! Either live great or look great it seems like!

*logs off to jump in the shower to get ready for today's beer garden shenanigans*
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Old 9th July 2017, 10:49 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I know! Either live great or look great it seems like!

*logs off to jump in the shower to get ready for today's beer garden shenanigans*

It ain't easy being legendary.....

I'm busy working today, but ill come back to the thread later on when I get some quiet time....

Enjoy the weekend, all!

TFY
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Old 10th July 2017, 5:23 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by Andy_K View Post
Agreed. The muscle factor is important... it's largely a myth that ageing slows the metabolism and makes you get fat. Studies done on people of the same body composition at varying ages show that the metabolic effect of ageing alone is of the order of a few %.

The age impact mostly comes from
1) muscle loss, which dramatically affects the metabolism. It does get harder to build and maintain muscle as you get older, but it's not till your 50's or 60's where the effect becomes too strong to combat with better discipline
2) Hormonal changes - for women oestrogen decreases as you get older. It's presence promotes fat storage on your hips/legs. Without it, you'll see more fat going to your belly instead, which is far more noticible.

And for OP, another big factor is :
Alcohol - alcohol decreases fat burn, if you exercise and drink you'll just burn the muscle you're building instead of the fat you want to be rid of. Alcohol especially decreases fat burn in the belly, so again it's a massive handicap to a flat stomach. If you want to be trim in middle age, you may have to give up the wine.
I am a scientist and am well aware about research showing that age doesn't slow your metabolism as much as people think and that weight gain is likely due to other factors.

However, even if population averages say that, it means little when I am dealing with clear evidence of the contrary. I have always gained weight easily and have been obsessive about monitoring weight. I know how many calories I eat every single day (and have for over 10 years) and how many steps I walk etc. With same activity level and calorie intake as 5 years ago, I am now noticeably gaining weight. I am in late 30s....To even maintain my current weight, I have to be hungry about 50% of the day. It's pretty awful but I am doing it as it's better than the alternative (for me).

It's kind of OK when I live by myself, but I often travel with both, men and women that are close to my age. When I see how much a normal person eats in a day (and is thinner than me), it's pretty depressing. I even went for a full medical check up and everything seems fine....so I can only conclude that it's an effect of age.

I am going to start a pretty intensive weight training program soon and see if that helps.

Researching nutrition and weight is extremely difficult due to so many other confounding factors.
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Old 10th July 2017, 6:26 AM   #36
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Have you checked your thyroid hormones? To me it doesn't sound like age related gain...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I am a scientist and am well aware about research showing that age doesn't slow your metabolism as much as people think and that weight gain is likely due to other factors.

However, even if population averages say that, it means little when I am dealing with clear evidence of the contrary. I have always gained weight easily and have been obsessive about monitoring weight. I know how many calories I eat every single day (and have for over 10 years) and how many steps I walk etc. With same activity level and calorie intake as 5 years ago, I am now noticeably gaining weight. I am in late 30s....To even maintain my current weight, I have to be hungry about 50% of the day. It's pretty awful but I am doing it as it's better than the alternative (for me).

It's kind of OK when I live by myself, but I often travel with both, men and women that are close to my age. When I see how much a normal person eats in a day (and is thinner than me), it's pretty depressing. I even went for a full medical check up and everything seems fine....so I can only conclude that it's an effect of age.

I am going to start a pretty intensive weight training program soon and see if that helps.

Researching nutrition and weight is extremely difficult due to so many other confounding factors.
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Old 10th July 2017, 6:36 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I am a scientist and am well aware about research showing that age doesn't slow your metabolism as much as people think and that weight gain is likely due to other factors.

However, even if population averages say that, it means little when I am dealing with clear evidence of the contrary. I have always gained weight easily and have been obsessive about monitoring weight. I know how many calories I eat every single day (and have for over 10 years) and how many steps I walk etc. With same activity level and calorie intake as 5 years ago, I am now noticeably gaining weight. I am in late 30s....To even maintain my current weight, I have to be hungry about 50% of the day. It's pretty awful but I am doing it as it's better than the alternative (for me).

It's kind of OK when I live by myself, but I often travel with both, men and women that are close to my age. When I see how much a normal person eats in a day (and is thinner than me), it's pretty depressing. I even went for a full medical check up and everything seems fine....so I can only conclude that it's an effect of age.

I am going to start a pretty intensive weight training program soon and see if that helps.

Researching nutrition and weight is extremely difficult due to so many other confounding factors.

If you approach it right, it absolutely will help....immensely..

But back to your earlier comment, I respectfully am not fully buying the aging process and gaining weight...

Think about this for a moment...And if you are the type that can think analytically, then you may appreciate and understand this...Women are some 35 lbs heavier on average, than they were in the 60's....That's not that long of a time to spur some kind of evolutionary permanent change...So what the heck happened?? When I look at old pics of my family, practically all the women were in the range of120-140 lb...I only had one aunt that was heavy, and even she was "only" around 170..So, for some of you that are having this defeated "it is what it is" attitude, how might you counter that??

Its two fold....

The technological revolution meant that people just grew up....well....kinda lazy...They didn't condition themselves in the same way we and earlier generations did...I always give my daughter some crap about never doing very much physically and do it in a playful way(no weight problem...yet)..but the reality is that its true...Its summer vacation here...We did more at her age in one day, than she and her friends now do in a month,...Looking at old pics again, we all as kids looked like underwear models...Muscular....strong...lean....Compared to the amorphous types today there is simply no comparison...That's the one thing...lack of early conditioning....that continues onto adulthood...

The other is the sheer amount of food related businesses has exploded here over that time..There are franchised restaurants, specialty markets, diners on every corner, its really ubiquitous...Back then, you had a couple of local restaurants, a few McD's and BK's and the Howard Johnson..People rarely went out to a restaurant..Today its far different....People ate to live then....People live to eat now...

That all being said, I believe the lack of activity has more to do with the current problem, than eating habits....I say this because we didn't eat stellar diets back then and no one that I knew of was eating the restrictive 1000 calorie diets either...

We CAN make changes that have a direct effect...This is just a hobby for me, but I have learned a lot over the years..Enough to have helped a great deal of people...some of them middle aged women..When executed properly the results are guaranteed..Sure, some people do better than others(genetics again), but everyone sees a benefit...

A few things..

Take a look at what you do daily...You can start by making simple changes in your daily routine that will help...Stuff like if you don't live in a dangerous area, always park your car far as reasonable from the door of the place you are going...Walk briskly...Take the stairs instead of the elevator if you have time...If you have a dog and just walk it til it poops, then head home, double the distance..There are a million little things...

Make sure you are always well hydrated and rested to the maximum..I know that its not always practical..just do the best you can...

I wont talk about dieting, there are so many strategies,some are good and some are bullshyt...I don't believe in heavily restricted diets...My little Shih Tzu is probably consuming more then 1200 cals a day and she is all of 8 lbs and doesn't have an ounce of fat on her..Its BS..it may get you started losing weight, but its unsustainable..Learn how to eat clean and avoid restaurants whenever possible...I had a job years ago and was surprised that I was the only one in the place packing my own lunch and using the fridge/micro...They all thought it was because I was cheap...Nope...

Weight/resistance training is the most effective way to change one's body...Period..Men or woman...And no, dicking around with 2 lb dumbells and rubber bands wont do it...Its better than nothing, but its not what will enact a real change..You don't need to be a power lifter, but you need a real program..Mix in some cardio and you will change your appearance and create a look you desire...Thin women have nothing on sexy. fit, strong ones It doesn't happen overnite and takes some dedication and time, but it will work...I know just about everyone has a gym membership toay, but like more than 70% are just wasting their time there...They spend more time talking and checking their phones and get nothing done...So, it matters not that you go, but what you get accomplished when you get there..

Women have discovered that one of the reasons men can stay leaner and lose fat easier, is that they have more muscle mass..They can then use this ideal effectively to assist in their battle with their body issues...

If you get to a point where you have made good progress and still aren't happy with certain areas like stomach or boobs, facelift, etc.I don't think its some huge foul to have those areas addressed surgically...Some women I know really got a boost from a simple boob job...If its important, than nothing wrong with it...I say go for it..

I could go on further...I wish some of the women on here who are currently doing a regimented weight training program could comment, as it always seems to resonate more to women when they can see/hear a woman saying it..

Anyway, for those that are content with their body, I tip my hat and say good for y'all......I try to be helpful and try not to be judgemental...Apologies if that seems the case...its unintentional..

TFY

Last edited by thefooloftheyear; 10th July 2017 at 6:51 AM..
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Old 10th July 2017, 7:30 AM   #38
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Im 43, 165cm and 60 kg (about 130lbs), which is about 2kg heavier than I was at 19 yrs old. Overall am quite happy with my weight and I don't want to be super skinny doesn't look good at my age.

But I have gained and lost significant amounts (+10kg) at periods of time in my life, particularly after my children were born. My mother is very overweight and I could be too, so its not genetic, I put effort into it.

What I have learned and works for me....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy_K View Post
If you want to be trim in middle age, you may have to give up the wine.
So true, wine is a killer for weight gain.
If you like a drink in the evening, switch to spirits, gin or vodka with lots of soda, lime & bitters or low sugar mixer. If you cut back on wine, you may find yourself craving sugar elsewhere, but just need to break that sugar addiction and it will stop. Also read labels - some mixers are 40 calories / 100mls or more - don't drink them. Better to buy soda water and add a splash of cordial.

Weight training at the gym with light weights and high repetitions (i.e lift 5kg twenty time have a break and do it again), this builds toned lean muscles without bulk and increase your metabolism. Although tbh, diet is where you lose weight as a woman, gym makes me hungry so I don't think its great weight loss, but does give you a better shape. Also fit in exercise where you can, walk up the stairs or escalator etc.

Drink lots of water! (Im rubbish at this but it does work)

Coffee and tea are an appetite suppressant (also vasoconstrictor so helps with lightheadedness too). Feeling hungry while out and about have a takeaway skim milk coffee.

Intermittent fasting, have days where you eat v little, then normally the next day. This is proven to be very good for you. The more often you do this, the more weight you will lose. Coffee for breakfast, lean protein and salad for lunch, g&t for dinner

As much veg and salad as you want whenever you want. Fruit be a bit more careful, also I think slightly green fruit is more filling and less calorific.

Think about it as being healthy, getting a much nutrition from your food as possible - you are not dieting, you are being the healthiest you possible. Food is fuel, not fun or comfort, there is no deprivation with the right mindset.

Chew food well, better for digestion and you will feel full quicker. Also if you can do not eat till you are full - 80% is recommended. If you wait till you are full you have overeaten as there is still food travelling down. That is how the weight creeps on as we age.

I never really eat cake or biscuits because I don't have a sweet tooth. I don't have a sweet tooth because I don't eat much sugar (its a negative or positive feedback loop - sugar is addictive)

My weaknesses are cheese and savory stuff like salami - the choice to eat these foods is made for me at the supermarket, if I don't buy it I cant eat it, if I do buy it I will eat it.

Well that's pretty much what works for me these days. Yes I cant inhale burgers like I used to, but I always eat when I'm hungry so I am never hungry, I'm just careful about what it is that I do eat. HTH!
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Old 10th July 2017, 7:37 AM   #39
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Your mother's diet sounds good... but wth - 85 pounds for adult? Unless she is 4'8 or under she's severely underweight (bmi < 18.5).

I personally bloat wen eating a lot of protein (like a steak dinner reflects as 2 lbs more the next day). I always wondered why... and don't have a good explanation, I just know I can't take the route high protein-low carb if I want to lose some...

Quote:
Originally Posted by lana-banana View Post
My mother (70) is 85 pounds. I'm a few inches taller than she is but it gives me hope for my future. She keeps her figure with daily exercise and repetition of breakfast and lunch. Breakfast is always a half-cup of cereal, orange juice and a slice of toast. Lunch is always a half sandwich, carrots, and an apple she usually doesn't finish. I have seen her eat the same thing for decades now. (At night she is a full-on gourmet, cooking and eating amazing things.) I think the routine is a big part of what keeps her on track.

A friend of mine who's a trainer once told me abs are 70% made in the kitchen and 30% in the gym. Eating well and eating specifically for fat loss is much more important than sit-ups. If you have a semi-regular source of carbs and sugar, cut that out first before making any other major changes.

I have never been overweight, but I have had great success with the ketogenic diet when I wanted to burn just a few pounds and I have friends who have lost 30-40 eating that way. My one caution would be to adapt it with heart health in mind; instead of using butter and coconut oil, use vegetable oils like olive and avocado.

If you can't overhaul your whole diet, just eliminating starches, grains and sugars will help significantly. If it's a matter of loose skin, no amount of dieting will get rid of that, but eliminating starches and keeping a moderately restricted (1200-1600 depending on height and activity level) diet should make a major difference.
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Old 10th July 2017, 7:43 AM   #40
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TFY, I agree with you more muscle - faster metabolism.. But how about tips for women that want to stay lean while aging and avoid the 'muscular' look? I'm not talking fitness models. Say Jennifer Aniston is WAY to muscular to my liking...

Quote:
Originally Posted by thefooloftheyear View Post
If you approach it right, it absolutely will help....immensely..

But back to your earlier comment, I respectfully am not fully buying the aging process and gaining weight...

Think about this for a moment...And if you are the type that can think analytically, then you may appreciate and understand this...Women are some 35 lbs heavier on average, than they were in the 60's....That's not that long of a time to spur some kind of evolutionary permanent change...So what the heck happened?? When I look at old pics of my family, practically all the women were in the range of120-140 lb...I only had one aunt that was heavy, and even she was "only" around 170..So, for some of you that are having this defeated "it is what it is" attitude, how might you counter that??

Its two fold....

The technological revolution meant that people just grew up....well....kinda lazy...They didn't condition themselves in the same way we and earlier generations did...I always give my daughter some crap about never doing very much physically and do it in a playful way(no weight problem...yet)..but the reality is that its true...Its summer vacation here...We did more at her age in one day, than she and her friends now do in a month,...Looking at old pics again, we all as kids looked like underwear models...Muscular....strong...lean....Compared to the amorphous types today there is simply no comparison...That's the one thing...lack of early conditioning....that continues onto adulthood...

The other is the sheer amount of food related businesses has exploded here over that time..There are franchised restaurants, specialty markets, diners on every corner, its really ubiquitous...Back then, you had a couple of local restaurants, a few McD's and BK's and the Howard Johnson..People rarely went out to a restaurant..Today its far different....People ate to live then....People live to eat now...

That all being said, I believe the lack of activity has more to do with the current problem, than eating habits....I say this because we didn't eat stellar diets back then and no one that I knew of was eating the restrictive 1000 calorie diets either...

We CAN make changes that have a direct effect...This is just a hobby for me, but I have learned a lot over the years..Enough to have helped a great deal of people...some of them middle aged women..When executed properly the results are guaranteed..Sure, some people do better than others(genetics again), but everyone sees a benefit...

A few things..

Take a look at what you do daily...You can start by making simple changes in your daily routine that will help...Stuff like if you don't live in a dangerous area, always park your car far as reasonable from the door of the place you are going...Walk briskly...Take the stairs instead of the elevator if you have time...If you have a dog and just walk it til it poops, then head home, double the distance..There are a million little things...

Make sure you are always well hydrated and rested to the maximum..I know that its not always practical..just do the best you can...

I wont talk about dieting, there are so many strategies,some are good and some are bullshyt...I don't believe in heavily restricted diets...My little Shih Tzu is probably consuming more then 1200 cals a day and she is all of 8 lbs and doesn't have an ounce of fat on her..Its BS..it may get you started losing weight, but its unsustainable..Learn how to eat clean and avoid restaurants whenever possible...I had a job years ago and was surprised that I was the only one in the place packing my own lunch and using the fridge/micro...They all thought it was because I was cheap...Nope...

Weight/resistance training is the most effective way to change one's body...Period..Men or woman...And no, dicking around with 2 lb dumbells and rubber bands wont do it...Its better than nothing, but its not what will enact a real change..You don't need to be a power lifter, but you need a real program..Mix in some cardio and you will change your appearance and create a look you desire...Thin women have nothing on sexy. fit, strong ones It doesn't happen overnite and takes some dedication and time, but it will work...I know just about everyone has a gym membership toay, but like more than 70% are just wasting their time there...They spend more time talking and checking their phones and get nothing done...So, it matters not that you go, but what you get accomplished when you get there..

Women have discovered that one of the reasons men can stay leaner and lose fat easier, is that they have more muscle mass..They can then use this ideal effectively to assist in their battle with their body issues...

If you get to a point where you have made good progress and still aren't happy with certain areas like stomach or boobs, facelift, etc.I don't think its some huge foul to have those areas addressed surgically...Some women I know really got a boost from a simple boob job...If its important, than nothing wrong with it...I say go for it..

I could go on further...I wish some of the women on here who are currently doing a regimented weight training program could comment, as it always seems to resonate more to women when they can see/hear a woman saying it..

Anyway, for those that are content with their body, I tip my hat and say good for y'all......I try to be helpful and try not to be judgemental...Apologies if that seems the case...its unintentional..

TFY
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Old 10th July 2017, 7:46 AM   #41
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OP it could be that your body is changing shape because of menopausal changes... I think the estrogen level drop will make you gain around the stomach. In that respect, wouldn't it make sense to treat locally with liposuction if you can afford it and are not against plastic surgery? Then you can continue with a good diet to maintain overall weight but you'd be more motivated after 'fixing' your problem zone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
UGH.

Growing up I was tall & skinny. For most of my life I had an off the rack size 6 body with a flat stomach.

Then I hit 40. My metabolism started to slow. I also discovered that I like rich foods, I enjoy my wine & due to "life" I don't get enough exercise. I carry the majority of my weight in my stomach; I actually have a bulge & in tight clothes or empire waist I look pregnant.

Last year I tried diet & exercise while cutting out the soda. I lost almost 20 pounds but that 1200 calorie per day diet was not sustainable. It also did not significantly affect my stomach so I ended up depressed because I failed. I have gained back about 8 of the pounds & it's all in my stomach. I have my mother's body. {Every woman who read this just cringed because you know what I'm talking about}

I spent yesterday unsuccessfully trying on formal wear. Nothing fit. I really don't want to spend huge amounts of money. I miss the days when I looked great in clothes.

How do I adjust my mind to my new body?
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Old 10th July 2017, 8:18 AM   #42
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TFY, I agree with you more muscle - faster metabolism.. But how about tips for women that want to stay lean while aging and avoid the 'muscular' look? I'm not talking fitness models. Say Jennifer Aniston is WAY to muscular to my liking...
Haha, I also think Jennifer Aniston's body is not faminine enough.
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Old 10th July 2017, 8:44 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by No_Go View Post
TFY, I agree with you more muscle - faster metabolism.. But how about tips for women that want to stay lean while aging and avoid the 'muscular' look?
Its incredibly difficult for the average woman to gain a truly 'muscular' look. It can be done and there are examples out there, but it takes athletic dedication on a level far above most of us.

I know from talking with the girls that this is a big thing for them, they don't want to grow 'big'. I don't know where this idea comes from tbh - perhaps they see the big guys in the gym and assume that this is what they will become if they lift any real weight?

Its simply not true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by No_Go View Post
I'm not talking fitness models. Say Jennifer Aniston is WAY to muscular to my liking...
She not muscular and never had been - but at different times she's had lower levels of body fat and this 'bring out' the musculature that she has. I think JA is hot, personally, but if that lean look doesn't work for you its easy to combat, keep working out in the gym, keep working out hard, but eat a little more and maintain a slightly higher body fat level - this will smooth out the look of the muscles and give you a strong body which is good for any number of reasons outside of how it looks.
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Old 10th July 2017, 8:49 AM   #44
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I disagree that you have to cut wine out entirely. It's all about moderation, and having a few glasses each week isn't going to make or break you. A glass of wine is only about 125 calories, which can be burned off in a ten minute (or less) run. I'm not a believer in completely cutting out everything you enjoy. What's the point of that? Just do it in moderation and be mindful of how much you are drinking/eating.

OP -- you admit in the opening post that you don't get enough exercise. Why can't you commit to 30 minutes of exercise each day? Just get up half an hour earlier or go to bed half an hour later. I've found it makes a world of difference in my weight when I can get regular exercise. It also allows you to eat/drink more.
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Old 10th July 2017, 8:56 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thefooloftheyear View Post

Women have discovered that one of the reasons men can stay leaner and lose fat easier, is that they have more muscle mass..
Lightbulb!

Is there any one particular piece of equipment that you think is a must-have with regard to weight training, and can you do it at home? I belong to a small gym and go to a 45 minute class 3-4 times a week (boot camp, Tabata, body pump type stuff) and don't really want to join another gym on top of that (or in place of it). But I'd like to start doing a lot more weight training.
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