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Guys perception of women and their weight


Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management Staying fit and physically healthy is essential! Remember, we aren't subsitutes for your physician! As always, talk to your doctor before following any suggestions or advice!

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Old 17th July 2017, 8:31 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Yes, you could call yourself "fat" at a size 8. I would suggest you never say it out loud. Calling yourself fat in front of a person who is your size or heavier would be really offensive.

If a size 8 friend called herself fat in front of me, I'd have to challenge her to what she thinks of my size 10-12. And no, there could be no good outcome to this conversation. Of course, if she said "I don't fit my clothes and have to get exercising again" it would not be offensive.
My apologies. I was trying to point out that different people have different "frames": someone with a size 8 doesn't necessarily look fitter than another person with a size 10-12.
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Old 17th July 2017, 8:33 PM   #47
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Ah yes, good point about frames. Sorry I snapped.
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Old 18th July 2017, 5:51 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
My apologies. I was trying to point out that different people have different "frames": someone with a size 8 doesn't necessarily look fitter than another person with a size 10-12.
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Ah yes, good point about frames. Sorry I snapped.
Hey basil just checking that you're tracking the sizing difference here. US 10 -12 is our AU 6 - 8. I'm not sure why it's a good thing over there for a grown woman to be size 0 - something we associate with infants.

It's almost a badge of honour in some quarters to be sub-zero. I'm so hot I'm negative!

But back to the OP... the impact of feeling bad about your physical self takes a toll on your sensuality. There is many a man out there (not all mind... but that's the nature of attraction) that will value a woman that loves her body flaws and all and revels in being a beautiful, sensual, confident albeit physically 'imperfect' woman. You don't have to be a super model to value your innate attractiveness. Those meant for you will respond.
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Old 18th July 2017, 7:17 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
My apologies. I was trying to point out that different people have different "frames": someone with a size 8 doesn't necessarily look fitter than another person with a size 10-12.
Height also plays a part in the sizes that one wears also.
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Old 18th July 2017, 9:07 AM   #50
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I think in terms of, could I grab her by the ankle and slide her across the bed? Could I flip her over without incurring a back injury? If I'm not sure... not good. If it crosses my mind that she might weigh almost as much as me, not very appealing. I don't need skinny, proportionate is fine.

I've been unpleasantly surprised a few times lately when meeting women the first time from online. They seem to have become quite skilled at obfuscating the reality.
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Old 18th July 2017, 3:20 PM   #51
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I think in terms of, could I grab her by the ankle and slide her across the bed? Could I flip her over without incurring a back injury?.
Right

Military presses are also a good check. Probably a little less than one rep max.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4Ka2320aGU

As are Turkish get ups.

https://youtu.be/uDQUlshxO_8


With these in mind probably about 140-180lb for me.


But of course we could talk about deadlifts or squats - or even a fireman carry to the bedroom - then the sky is the limit - mmmmmm.
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Last edited by dichotomy; 18th July 2017 at 3:24 PM..
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Old 18th July 2017, 8:05 PM   #52
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Right

Military presses are also a good check. Probably a little less than one rep max.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4Ka2320aGU

As are Turkish get ups.

https://youtu.be/uDQUlshxO_8


With these in mind probably about 140-180lb for me.


But of course we could talk about deadlifts or squats - or even a fireman carry to the bedroom - then the sky is the limit - mmmmmm.
ROTFL at the "fireman carry." I like to be able to scoop up a girlfriend and carry her off. For me, that means under 150 lbs. My GFs are the perfect "portable" size... just right for cuddling up in my lap.

I guess we could say that the real definition is that "form follows function."
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Old 20th July 2017, 7:16 AM   #53
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I have exactly the same body type as you.

When I reached size 4 my ex kept complaining I'm too big. Which, TBH, was true - I wasn't fitting in some of my pants anymore. It is also not an illusion because weight wise I was quite in the middle of BMI healthy range - if I am to gain to size 8 I'd definitely pass the BMI of 25- i.e. go to the overweight range.

I have a friend that was size 8 and was lighter than me, same height. I was size 2. I think it had to do with her having much wider hip bones and shoulders, size is not just determined by weight but very much by the bone frame.


Quote:
Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
I think each person has a different standard. My height is slightly above average in the US standard, and my natural size is 2 (was 0 when I was younger); whenever I have to go up to size 4, it's a warning sign for me to get fitter. I can definitely call myself "fat" if I ever have to go up to size 8.

Last edited by No_Go; 20th July 2017 at 7:18 AM..
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Old 20th July 2017, 8:28 PM   #54
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OP it doesn't matter. Either people will be attracted or they won't. You can't control that. Are you happy with your body? If not, change it. If so, let whatever will happen, happen.
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Old 27th July 2017, 10:24 AM   #55
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OK, Truly Fat Woman here!

I'm a size 14 and my BMI last doctor's appointment was 30 (borderline obese.) I still have men smiling and staring at me quite often, and my husband likes what he sees even if I don't believe him.

One time, I will always remember this- some guy (married to a thin woman) I found out had said about me 'I usually don't like bigger girls, but she's an exception, she's cute.' I think it's because of how I carry it. No matter how much I've gained (I've managed to stay below 200 though, the most I've ever weighed was 195 and that was pregnant) I've always had an "hourglass" figure and I have a very feminine walk. Plus I'm on the short side, which translates to 'little' in most guys' minds.
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Old 27th July 2017, 10:50 AM   #56
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I've gained about 15 pounds in the last year, and honestly I have never felt sexier ... but also, this is not the first time I've been this weight, and it IS the first time I've appreciated my thick thighs and butt and thicker waist and not having a thigh gap and all. I'm not super thick compared to some other women (I weight 133 right now) but compared to when I was super skinny (like 115-116) I am MUCH bigger and thicker and I'm loving and appreciating it.


Your mindset makes all the difference. It sounds like you have a really dysfunctional relationship with your weight and your body and I hope you're able to work through that, because let me tell you girl - there are tons of guys who like thicker women and don't want a skinny little thing. When I was less than 120 pounds, I felt good wearing smaller clothes and being in a bathing suit and whatnot ...but when it came to sex and feeling sexy, I felt a little inadequate and like I was lacking something because I didn't have any juice.


I'm sure that once you get right with yourself about your body, you'll feel better in sexual/dating relationships. I feel like your insecurity about your body is probably obvious, and is a turn off to guys. However, I second what many others have said - I don't think his ghosting has anything to do with your weight. It might have to do with your insecurity. It might have to do with he's in a relationship or whatever the case may be, or it might have to do with he was just looking for casual sex and will hit you up again at some point ... that's dating in 2017, especially online. Work on yourself girl, this is all about you right now.
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Old 28th July 2017, 12:16 PM   #57
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I have dated women of all shapes and sizes. I am only turned off by seriously obese women and I won't quantify that statement on this thread as I don't feel like getting axe-murdered.

I can almost always find a few things that I find physically appealing about a woman and that certainly helps in that department. A pretty set of eyes go a LONG way for me, regardless of body frame, weight, etc..

I have two female friends from college on Facebook that are flat-out gorgeous. They are both die hard gym rats and really work to take care of themselves. They are both nice gals but I would never date them because they post far too many "narcissi-selfies". Gym pics, bikini pics, skimpy-outfit-of-the-day pic, etc..etc.. They can't even take a picture of themselves going grocery shopping without having the angle showing a ton of cleavage. I get it, they work hard on to stay trim and fit and they want to flaunt it a bit. But, three pics of those kinds of pics a day is just too much.

So, ladies, understand that it goes both ways for a lot of guys. That tight, trim frame may be stunning but the personality behind it may not be quite so appealing. And, in the end, it's the personality that counts..
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Old 28th July 2017, 5:14 PM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by No_Go View Post
I have exactly the same body type as you.

When I reached size 4 my ex kept complaining I'm too big. Which, TBH, was true - I wasn't fitting in some of my pants anymore. It is also not an illusion because weight wise I was quite in the middle of BMI healthy range - if I am to gain to size 8 I'd definitely pass the BMI of 25- i.e. go to the overweight range.

I have a friend that was size 8 and was lighter than me, same height. I was size 2. I think it had to do with her having much wider hip bones and shoulders, size is not just determined by weight but very much by the bone frame.
Word of advice; ignore the BMI. It's a flawed method of measurement that was actually developed by insurance companies to help set premiums.. It doesn't take actual body composition into account (muscle mass, bone density, body fat, etc..) which skews it in the wrong direction.

In fact, I would suggest that you ignore all of the body composition tests. Even the most accurate method (underwater submersion) is still off by 3%, up or down. Caliper tests (the ones most fitness trainers use) can be off by nearly 10%..

In all reality, there's no accurate, statistically viable correlation between weight/body fat and morbidity/health. There's a strong tie between a person's daily activity levels and life span but that's about it. A sedentary person has a much higher chance of developing a metabolic disorder or heart issues compared to someone who makes sure they walk 10,000 steps per day.

More importantly, you just need to be comfortable in your own skin and don't let anyone judge you on your physical appearance. I was big into bodybuilding and powerlifting when I was in my teens and early-mid twenties and I was miserable most of the time. I obsessed over the gym and my strict diet and I was miserable most of the time. God forbid I didn't have a six pack and bench 315lbs!!! It got to the point where it was seriously unhealthy for me emotionally as I would get anxious if I didn't get my six+ workouts in per week or splurged on junk food here and there. It's an easy trap to fall into though.

I am much happier now that I just focus on being able to fit in a size 34 waist jeans. And, that's not even about appearance; it's about comfort. Smaller than a 34 don't fit my legs well and a size 36 falls off my ass. I still work out; I lift two to three days per week and make sure I get 10,000+ steps in every day. I eat a balanced diet that is still a little bland but I'm okay with it as I'm pretty busy and the nutrient dense foods keep me from crashing and burning half way through the day..
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Old 29th July 2017, 2:07 AM   #59
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So I am out trying to date. On some sites, been on some dates with people. Was dating someone steady until it fizzled out.

I am a bit self conscious. I struggled with weight all my life. I would be heavy, then medium, then skinny, and then back again. I feel myself now as medium average. I have a decent sized chest, which men don't mind, but I always wonder if they look at my stomach and legs. I have some hefty thighs, and a little squishy softness around my middle. I'm about a size 8 women/medium in clothing.

When I go out on a date with someone new, I am always paranoid they will criticize my size. Its just the bit of mold left over in my brain from my past weight issues and fluctuations. If we start dating after the first date, I start stalking their ex's on social media and see if they are skinnier than me, and question if they are comparing me to a skinnier past girl.

Recently, I was dating someone steady, and we got intimate. I was so scared for him to see me naked. I felt good, but compared to this guy, I was a beached whale. He was an avid daily gym goer. He had a 6 pack with abs you just want to lick. His abdomen was perfect. I'd never seen anything like it. And then here was me, naked with some small rolls and squishy thunder thighs. I was so scared of what he thought of me. I work out. I love walking and exercising. I also just love eating too.

This guy ended up ghosting me, and though circumstances point to his own personal issues as the reason, that poison in my brain had me questioning if he liked how I looked naked. He kept saying I had the most amazing boobs, but I questioned if he thought my stomach was flabby.

Deep down I know it wasn't me, it was him, but I was curious as to what guys think about women, sizes, and being naked with women? On dates, first time intimacy, etc...
Being naked with women is great. Personally, I find it hypocritical to be judgemental about a woman unless I'm in immaculate shape. Even then it's not about shape per se. Just like women guys have different preferences. Personally I'm a face and boobs guy.

The best tip I can give you is control what you can. You can't control how someone perceives you, but you can control your diet and the amount of exercise you get. If a woman smells nice and takes care of herself (hygiene) most guys aren't going to make an issue about her weight/shape, and if they do why would you want to be with them?
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Old 5th August 2017, 2:27 PM   #60
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A guys perception of women and their weight is about the same as a woman's perspective of a men and their salary/status. It's just how it is. It's a dictation of biology. Some people may judge slightly more or less than others in this regard but it's always there.
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