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Guys perception of women and their weight


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Old 5th July 2017, 7:13 AM   #31
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The average American woman is a size 14-16. At a size 8 you're quite small unless you're 4" tall. Many women try all their life to achieve a size 8.

I think the issue here is that you need to love yourself in all of your beauty!
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Old 6th July 2017, 4:20 PM   #32
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The average American woman is a size 14-16. At a size 8 you're quite small unless you're 4" tall. Many women try all their life to achieve a size 8.

I think the issue here is that you need to love yourself in all of your beauty!
I was about to say the same. If someone finds a size 8 fat, it's his perspective that's off, not her size.

I used to be rail thin. Now I'm not. I occasionally flirt with the "womans" sizes in the department store but never actually cross the bridge (lol).

My fiance thinks I'm "sexy as hell" - his words - the man works out and looks like an adonis (to me, anyway).

Men are not a hive mind, just like women aren't. Now, I am active, energetic, and I know how to make the most of myself. But mostly I just like myself. Keep the lights on. I'm confortable in my own skin, even if I do have more skin than Kate Moss!

Try to shake this ghoster off. Look at yourself in a new and kinder light.

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Old 6th July 2017, 9:35 PM   #33
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I was about to say the same. If someone finds a size 8 fat, it's his perspective that's off, not her size.

I used to be rail thin. Now I'm not. I occasionally flirt with the "womans" sizes in the department store but never actually cross the bridge (lol).

My fiance thinks I'm "sexy as hell" - his words - the man works out and looks like an adonis (to me, anyway).

Men are not a hive mind, just like women aren't. Now, I am active, energetic, and I know how to make the most of myself. But mostly I just like myself. Keep the lights on. I'm confortable in my own skin, even if I do have more skin than Kate Moss!

Try to shake this ghoster off. Look at yourself in a new and kinder light.
A size 8 can absolutely be fat. The number does not tell the story. My ex was a tall, thick girl, and while she wore a size 12L in women's jeans, she had a perfectly flat stomach. There was no flab to be found on her at all. At the same time, you could have a girl who's natural build calls for a size 2 in clothes, and when she gains weight up to a size 8, suddenly, she is very flabby. Everyone is different.

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Old 6th July 2017, 10:10 PM   #34
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At the same time, you could have a girl who's natural build calls for a size 2 in clothes, and when she gains weight up to a size 8, suddenly, she is very flabby. Everyone is different.
This is actually true for many Asian women. In fact, the BMI cutoffs for people of Asian ethnic background are lower.
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Old 6th July 2017, 10:22 PM   #35
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Size 8 isn't too big, but tone and shape may tell another story.
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Old 7th July 2017, 4:21 AM   #36
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Your size and weight is only a problem in dating if you allow it to be. You aren't a huge girl, so you're ok there, but if you meet an absolutely tremendous looking guy such as the one you described, just know that he can likely get tremendous looking women.
She may very well be his idea of tremendously good looking. Not all guys think you gotta be skinny or super toned to be hot.

When I first started dating after my divorce i weighed 126 pounds and very toned, which was my depressed over breaking up weight. Since Ive gotten happier my weight has jumped up to 155. Ive felt really scared that men would be less attracted to me but it is much the opposite. And for some reason i tend to end up with guys who're really into weight lifting and working out in general and have awesome bodies. Some of them have specifically told me they arent into women who look like they spend all their time working out.

And as a woman who could be spending time w those guys... I prefer a guy with a little extra pudge. I like them kinda thick, with a soft belly/love handles. I truly dont dig a six pack or two percent body fat. I do love big muscle-y arms and shoulders and strong legs, but even that is just icing on the cake if hes a good guy. I am sure there are lots of guys with equivelent feelings. Not everyone is looking for a model. As they say, "models are made for modelling. Thick girls are made for cuddling."
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Old 7th July 2017, 9:21 AM   #37
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Old 7th July 2017, 10:09 AM   #38
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A size 8 may not indicate thinness....but to use the word "fat," for a size 8 (unless she is 4'10" or something) is a bit much.

At any rate, the OP says she is a size 8, so no normal man is going to describe her as obese.

P.S. BMI is NOT an accurate way to determine obesity when used in isolation. No, it's not.
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Old 7th July 2017, 10:11 AM   #39
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Size 8 isn't too big, but tone and shape may tell another story.
Also height.
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Old 7th July 2017, 10:12 AM   #40
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The average American woman is a size 14-16. At a size 8 you're quite small unless you're 4" tall. Many women try all their life to achieve a size 8.

I think the issue here is that you need to love yourself in all of your beauty!
Average size does not mean normal. It means that most of this country is overweight (guys and girls alike).

The girl I'm dating now is Asian (which is my preference likely due to their smaller size). She has such a hard time finding clothes that fit because everything is huge. She was amazed at how big Americans are compared to her country.

I've also noticed people getting larger and larger as the years go by. I had dinner at a friends and ate a slice of pizza. Their 10 year old niece had 2, and had no desire to soak up the grease on top with a paper towel before eating it. I couldn't believe a 10 year old could eat that much (she is very overweight).

Whereas I am attracted to a size 0 or 00, there are a lot of men who are attracted to larger size women. But as stated above, most guys will have sex with a larger girl - even if they are not really attracted to her. I've done it before as well.

Many guys have no issues having sex with a girl with also having no intentions of developing a relationship. OLD allows women to get together with guys who are "out of their league" and it gives the impression that they are more desired than they are. In reality, guys are often happy just to have sex and likely would not approach her in real life.
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Old 7th July 2017, 10:16 AM   #41
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I could have quoted many posts, but this is the most obvious. Such a negative attitude to have.

The problem is that I find this fairly common in Western Women. The attitude of "I'm the prize, and any guy is lucky to have sex”. There was even a thread that I remember a few weeks back where a woman asked a simple question: “how can I be a better girlfriend?”. The response? “Don't. Just be yourself”.

As someone that comes from a very niche culture myself, and has went out with a diverse group of women (Eastern European, Latina, Western, etc), I find this to be a great weakness particular of many English girls. It's why they get easily outperformed.

Sure, if you want to believe that you can have flab, be “can't cook/won't cook”, or basically not improve your value in any way, and that guys should just be lucky to be in your presence, that's one way you can go through life. But what kind of guy are you filtering for with such a crap attitude?

Men get told how they can improve, women get told they don't need to. It's bizarre.

It's quite simple: my advice would be to eat less ice cream. Live a healthier lifestyle. And it will be much easier to attract better looking guys for ltr's. As someone else mentioned, It's a different thing to attract a good-looking guy with options for short term and long term. If you have an obvious insecurity, just get it sorted if possible.

Two types of people, those looking to improve – and those looking for excuses not to. Best not to fall into the mindset of the latter.
If you can imagine, this attitude has gotten worse as I've grown up. I went out a few times with one (white) girl and she said "I'll never cook for you". I said "I'll never make you my girlfriend" lol.

I don't blame the women for it - guys allow them to get away with it. It ruins dating for the rest of us who won't put up with it.

I think this attitude is why I tend not to date many white women and am often drawn to women of other cultures / backgrounds.
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Old 7th July 2017, 10:38 PM   #42
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If you can imagine, this attitude has gotten worse as I've grown up. I went out a few times with one (white) girl and she said "I'll never cook for you". I said "I'll never make you my girlfriend" lol.

I don't blame the women for it - guys allow them to get away with it. It ruins dating for the rest of us who won't put up with it.

I think this attitude is why I tend not to date many white women and am often drawn to women of other cultures / backgrounds.
I agree. I think this is partly why both my good friend/ex and I have gone for girls who are somewhat outside of the traditional American WASP sphere. There's just something about the prevalent attitude these days that is off-putting. Women pick on men, and men pick on women. Hell, even lesbians are often at each other's throats these days. The bottom line, the way I see it, is this: There are no excuses. And that goes for men and women and whoever else is inbetween. There are no excuses for ills such as obesity, for slovenly living, or for refusing to work when you are able. No excuses for unreasonable expectations either.

I believe that relationships are exchanges. Each person brings both good and bad to the table, with the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Someone has to have a career, someone has to help at home. There has to be sexual chemistry, emotional bonding, and commitment. For one partner or another to "provide it all" while the other partner isn't expected to put forth effort is simply ridiculous.
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Old 8th July 2017, 11:15 AM   #43
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I agree. I think this is partly why both my good friend/ex and I have gone for girls who are somewhat outside of the traditional American WASP sphere. There's just something about the prevalent attitude these days that is off-putting. [...]
Strange, I can't detect any of this here in the Midwest. Most women are as friendly as they always were. Granted, they did gain in size on average, but if that gain is in the right places I don't mind.
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Old 17th July 2017, 8:24 PM   #44
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Size 8 isn't too big, but tone and shape may tell another story.
I think each person has a different standard. My height is slightly above average in the US standard, and my natural size is 2 (was 0 when I was younger); whenever I have to go up to size 4, it's a warning sign for me to get fitter. I can definitely call myself "fat" if I ever have to go up to size 8.
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Old 17th July 2017, 8:50 PM   #45
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I think each person has a different standard. My height is slightly above average in the US standard, and my natural size is 2 (was 0 when I was younger); whenever I have to go up to size 4, it's a warning sign for me to get fitter. I can definitely call myself "fat" if I ever have to go up to size 8.
Yes, you could call yourself "fat" at a size 8. I would suggest you never say it out loud. Calling yourself fat in front of a person who is your size or heavier would be really offensive.

If a size 8 friend called herself fat in front of me, I'd have to challenge her to what she thinks of my size 10-12. And no, there could be no good outcome to this conversation. Of course, if she said "I don't fit my clothes and have to get exercising again" it would not be offensive.
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Last edited by basil67; 17th July 2017 at 8:54 PM..
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