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Guys perception of women and their weight


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Old 3rd July 2017, 4:45 PM   #16
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a thick sturdy woman is more likely to produce healthy offspring through those wide hips and curvy bottom. Says the subconscious of every man who sees a thick sturdy womanly woman. Humor, nice personality and intelligience helps too
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Old 3rd July 2017, 4:56 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by thefooloftheyear View Post
Not really true....

Women can hide a myriad of problem areas with the wide variety of "slenderizing" undergarments available to them...To the point, where if they are able to tolerate what must be ridiculously uncomfortable, they can present a package clothed that will look absolutely nothing like what happens when it all comes off.

Just the other night, I saw a commercial for a "corset' type of device...The before and after pics were almost unrecognizable...

TFY
Yeah, this is true to a point. A lot of shapewear is good at holding wobbly bits firm and removing obvious indents from underwear. And I make corsets, so I'm familiar with waist reduction.

But I'm yet to find anything which would make me look a size smaller than what I am. At best, fat can only be displaced - not heavily compressed to make us look smaller.
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Old 3rd July 2017, 6:33 PM   #18
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Overall, your size shouldn't be a problem in dating at all. Now, like others said,no matter your weight or body type, you'll have men who will like it, and others who won't.

So don't worry about it at all, I can guarantee it wasn't your weight. Just some guys like to do the ol' pump and dump.

I personally would never go for the six pack guy, I see them as too much into themselves/looks to be a good match for me, but if you like these, maybe you need to stay in the gym as much as they do, if you want a long term thing.
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Old 3rd July 2017, 7:44 PM   #19
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Men have body issues as well - they know there are some women who like tall men, or men with "six pack abs you want to lick", or oversized penis. Some men get worked up over their bodies just like you and other women do - whole threads on this.

But everyone has their body preferences.

I am a big guy (height/muscle/weight)- and prefer thicker women. I think maybe I was with a size 8 just once. All my gals have been size 12 and up. Trim petite women dont do anything for me and I worry about breaking them. I just like women with meat on them - and nothing wrong with that.

My current wife is the heaviest and tallest of any women I have been with, and frankly - she had a rather notable amount of partners between marriages. She had a very outgoing personality and a pretty face and just worked past her size issues.

There are guys for you... dont worry.
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Old 3rd July 2017, 7:45 PM   #20
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I can tell you this: Women with curves have been approached, asked out, made love to, and wifed up *long* before Ashley Graham ever came to be.

The idea that only thin women are desired...Fake News

Sorry about this guy ghosting but I am about certain that it wasn't your weight.
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Old 3rd July 2017, 10:25 PM   #21
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If you are a kinda flabby girl, and you know this guy was much better looking than you are, then no, you should not be surprised when he ghosts after getting laid. That is pretty much standard operating procedure as described in Easy Sex for Guys 101.

Your size and weight is only a problem in dating if you allow it to be. You aren't a huge girl, so you're ok there, but if you meet an absolutely tremendous looking guy such as the one you described, just know that he can likely get tremendous looking women.

Men don't put women in a friendzone usually, not like women do to us. If we think ladies aren't all that attractive, or we can do better, she gets put in the FWB zone instead. Meaning, we might sleep with her, but relationship status will not change.
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Old 4th July 2017, 11:13 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by amkxoxo View Post
I'm about a size 8 women/medium in clothing.
Seriously?

This is not big at all.

This is your past residual weight issues playing with your mind.

And newsflash: even thin/hot women get ghosted on. There are a variety of reasons that people ghost and get ghosted on. It's not always related to looks.
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Old 4th July 2017, 11:29 AM   #23
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Tough crap if he doesn't like your body. He should be lucky to be getting some if women are just a body to him.
I could have quoted many posts, but this is the most obvious. Such a negative attitude to have.

The problem is that I find this fairly common in Western Women. The attitude of "I'm the prize, and any guy is lucky to have sex”. There was even a thread that I remember a few weeks back where a woman asked a simple question: “how can I be a better girlfriend?”. The response? “Don't. Just be yourself”.

As someone that comes from a very niche culture myself, and has went out with a diverse group of women (Eastern European, Latina, Western, etc), I find this to be a great weakness particular of many English girls. It's why they get easily outperformed.

Sure, if you want to believe that you can have flab, be “can't cook/won't cook”, or basically not improve your value in any way, and that guys should just be lucky to be in your presence, that's one way you can go through life. But what kind of guy are you filtering for with such a crap attitude?

Men get told how they can improve, women get told they don't need to. It's bizarre.

It's quite simple: my advice would be to eat less ice cream. Live a healthier lifestyle. And it will be much easier to attract better looking guys for ltr's. As someone else mentioned, It's a different thing to attract a good-looking guy with options for short term and long term. If you have an obvious insecurity, just get it sorted if possible.

Two types of people, those looking to improve – and those looking for excuses not to. Best not to fall into the mindset of the latter.
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Old 4th July 2017, 11:37 AM   #24
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If you are a kinda flabby girl, and you know this guy was much better looking than you are, then no, you should not be surprised when he ghosts after getting laid. .
He didn't actually do that.
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Old 4th July 2017, 12:12 PM   #25
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He didn't actually do that.
Neither did I, but it was the reason.

Enigma's post was correct. Guy's don't typically friendzone; they friends with benefits zone.

In my case, I said something about not being able to get over an ex. Guys aren't going to tell you about weight, because it's not worth the aggro.

However, this is a forum meant to help each other. The reframes which I see aren't helpful. It's a very negative mindset.

As my dad would say "meaning well is never good enough".

There is a difference between curvy and flab. Guys aren't attracted to the latter. Same way women aren't attracted to a man being unemployed. And it's a limitation someone will have in this scene.

Two options: accept the limitation/work around it. Or deal with it to improve your own value.

Being delusional or getting a weird attitude about it is probably the worst thing.
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Old 4th July 2017, 12:23 PM   #26
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This begins and ends with you.

Although I will agree that men's tastes in what they find attractive in a woman varies greatly, I feel like your lack of confidence is the real problem here. Nothing is going to work until you fix how you see yourself.

Insecurity of any kind but especially body insecurity is a HUGE turn off to many men. Confidence is key.

We all have insecurities about the way we look. No one is perfect after all. You don't have to love every inch of yourself necessarily but you have to love yourself enough to know you're so much more than just your rolls and thick thighs and squishy belly.

I have a ton of flaws thanks to birthing children and age and surgeries both major and minor. It's never stopped me from having an incredible social life and an even better sex life. Why? Because I know I am so much more than my bits and pieces and it comes through in my interactions with men. Confidence is a game changer.

Good luck.
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Old 4th July 2017, 12:30 PM   #27
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This begins and ends with you.

Although I will agree that men's tastes in what they find attractive in a woman varies greatly, I feel like your lack of confidence is the real problem here. Nothing is going to work until you fix how you see yourself.

Insecurity of any kind but especially body insecurity is a HUGE turn off to many men. Confidence is key.

We all have insecurities about the way we look. No one is perfect after all. You don't have to love every inch of yourself necessarily but you have to love yourself enough to know you're so much more than just your rolls and thick thighs and squishy belly.

Good luck.
I agree. Tbh, I think the reason the OP's guy disappeared likely had nothing to do with her at all - it's likely he was looking for casual sex to begin with. But I do think that the OP's insecurity attracts men like him who perceive such women as "easily manipulated", and turns off decent men who would be more likely to want an actual relationship.

After all, nobody wants to be in a relationship where their partner can't even let them see them naked without massive insecurity. I wouldn't want a partner like that. It would get exhausting really quickly.
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Old 4th July 2017, 2:12 PM   #28
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After all, nobody wants to be in a relationship where their partner can't even let them see them naked without massive insecurity. I wouldn't want a partner like that. It would get exhausting really quickly.
This is the long and short of it....And its not the guys fault, it's her hangup...

But I kinda disagree with the fact that he ghosted for other reasons...The reality is that you/me just don't know..It's easily possible that it IS the reason, because no guy except the most vicious is going to actually tell a woman that she is too fat/whatever..So they'll fabricate a BS excuse..I suppose it's fair to criticize the guy for slumming.....It's not a nice thing to do...

But if you stop and think about it, you won't find many attractive and/or well built guys pairing up with overweight or unkempt women...If you do, it's more than likely to be a case where the woman looked good when they met, then "settled" into her comfort zone..

TFY
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Old 4th July 2017, 2:25 PM   #29
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Interesting discussion and one that come and goes here. I liked imajerk, enigma and TFY posts specifically.

Hey, size 8 isn't awful and you most likely look normal with just some extra pounds. Enough to keep the hands of an honest man occupied as my grandpa would have said.

You see, we guys don't really friend zone women but we may FWB them instead, cruel but on the money comment. Some guys jokingly claim that 'any hole is a goal' etc.

As other people have stated, you are not morbidly obese and probably not unattractive this has more to do with your mind, your memories of your bigger body that's messing with you hence the insecurity.
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Old 4th July 2017, 6:15 PM   #30
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Perception

So much of this weight issue is an issue of perception. We have thin girls who think they are too fat, men who want someone who is average, and we also have the "BBW" types who think they are God's gift to the world. We also have women's clothing companies who produce sizes that are awful to understand. So where is the sanity in this?

For a true evaluation of a person's weight, I would go by the numbers. What do the numbers indicate is a healthy weight for a person who is X feet Y inches tall? What is normal for that person's age? What kind of bone structure does that person have?

In my own life, I worked with this weight issue in the last year. My GF's said I looked great. I felt a bit squishy and uncomfortable. So I changed my diet a bit by getting rid of sugar, and lost about 25 lbs. By the numbers, my BMI/build indicates that I'm healthy. No, I don't have the toned mid-section that I wish I did, but it isn't worth it to me to do a bunch of work to get there.

OP, dress sizes don't mean much. And there is a man/woman for almost every woman out there within about 100 lbs of normal. So ask yourself this: What do the numbers say about you? If you are in or close to the normal range, then make a couple of minor changes, learn to be content, and then look for someone to date that has a decent personality..... because ghosting is a sure sign of a j@ck@$$ whether you weigh 100lbs or 400lbs.
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