belle_athletic Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 My boyfriend recently had heart surgery, and I've been trying my best to try to support him. Recently, I've become a bit obsessive about monitoring his heart, usually with my hand or ear to his chest. It's generally ok, but the other day we got into a mini-argument on the road and his heart was beating sooo fast and irregularly it was scary. Anyone have any tips on how to manage this better? Or am I just being obsessive? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 You're being a bit obsessive. It's his life, not yours. Let him live it even if it's ways you don't agree with. Years ago when my dad had a heart attack, I wanted to micromanage everything especially his diet. It put a strain on things. Make your guy healthy foods. Exercise with him; take a walk after dinner etc. Express how much you care about him but don't hover. Do wander through your local pharmacy & check out the gadgets. I'm pretty sure they sell OTC blood pressure cuffs & heart monitors. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 Consult his physician. Seriously, I can really understand your concern but he is responsible for his own health and I would hope, monitored regularly by his doctor. If he has questions or concerns then he should ask his doctor. You can love him and help him to be healthy by walking together, eating well, etc... That's where your job ends. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 My boyfriend recently had heart surgery, and I've been trying my best to try to support him. Recently, I've become a bit obsessive about monitoring his heart, usually with my hand or ear to his chest. It's generally ok, but the other day we got into a mini-argument on the road and his heart was beating sooo fast and irregularly it was scary. Anyone have any tips on how to manage this better? Or am I just being obsessive? First of all, don't add to any stress in his life! Be loving, concerned, but firm, but don't become another thing in his life that he has to 'fight.' As others have said, encourage him to eat properly, exercise appropriately and he should be taking low-dose (or suggested) aspirin daily. Most importantly, become a team of his recovery by know what his DOCTOR recommends. There is no reason why your bf should keep the recommended regimen from you. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 (edited) How to handle what ? 1) Monitoring his heart ? There is a big difference between fast and irregular. Pulse check on hand is easy. Finger monitors can check rate but not irregular beats. You can buy a stethoscope. Also he should learn to check his own heart, pulse and beat rhythm. 2) Not stressing out - him - or yourself ? Well you both have to work on that. You not to stress him, and him relaxation/breathing/meditation techniques to lower rate and even change rhythm . Edited June 19, 2017 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
Casper. Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 Is he meant to be monitoring his heart or is it just something you think he/you should be doing? My point of view on it is, he's a man, whatever health issues he has or doesnt have he is still a MAN and you need to let he be one!! You can't wrap him up in cotton wool like a child! I'm an ex soldier, i got injured a medically discharged. I'm lucky that my injuries dont effect my day to day life in any major way and i can still do anything anyone else can do, but you know there's a lot of good men i know/knew who weren't so lucky! Who's injuries were life changing, and will effect them in ways they didnt even realise, permanently! You know what I'd tell you, and what i know a lot of them would tell you too? You have to let them live, you never have the right to take away someone elses independence EVEN if you do it out of love! You just don't! His health is HIS, not yours. I would HATE to be in his position and then have my girlfriend look at me like i'm some victim, or cripple. He's your MAN, so treat him like one!! I only joined the army to support my sister and her little boy, i used to send mot of my wage to them, cause i didnt need it, i was looked after in the army. When i got hurt, she told me she'd always put like half of what i gave her away, saved it to give back to me, if i ever needed it. And thats what she tried to do, give it back to me. And i told her it was the last thing i ever wanted! I was a man, i was a provider, and i needed to pick myself up and build a new life, i didnt need pity, or protecting, I didnt want retrogress to being some little kid that needed looking after!! I'm sure you're boyfriend doesnt either! If he asks for your help, then great, give it. But until then, all he needs from you is to be his girlfriend same as before, you're not his carer! Link to post Share on other sites
Casper. Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 1) Monitoring his heart ? There is a big difference between fast and irregular. Pulse check on hand is easy. Finger monitors can check rate but not irregular beats. You can buy a stethoscope. Also he should learn to check his own heart, pulse and beat rhythm. ^ Theres no reason his heart shouldnt beat fast! It's what they are designed to do!! (Also i absolutely love your signature!! So true!! ) Link to post Share on other sites
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