FitChick Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Once a month at work we have a "girls lunch" in the conference room where we can bring in clothes, jewelry, accessories, housewares, that we don't want but that are perfectly good. Women from other departments have stopped by so the more the merrier and more stuff! You can get some great items. I had an expensive blazer that I had seldom worn. It just didn't look right on me. I held onto it for a long time simply because it was expensive. One woman at the lunch had the right coloring for it so I suggested she try it on. She asked me what size it was. "Oh, that's too big." I suggested she try it on because you can't go by sizes these days. She insisted it was probably too big for her. Someone else told her to just try it on. She did and it was very tight on her. Did I mention this woman was about twenty-five pounds heavier than I am and it was obvious to everyone else in the room? One reason why I never find clothes I can fit into at these lunches. Everyone seems to be overweight. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Out of curiosity, have you thought about selling your clothes on eBay so you can make some extra cash, instead of giving it away for free to people that will be delusional about their weight? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Maybe she knew it was going to be tight on her and did not want to try it on in front of everyone, so just used the "Oh, it'll be too big" as an excuse. Or maybe she didn't like the blazer and didn't want to be rude. If she is clearly 25 lbs heavier than you, I don't know why you even suggested it for her. It almost seems like you were trying to embarrass her in front of everyone. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
kodakgirl Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I think I'm a bit delusional about my weight... I'm 5'2", 110 lbs, almost always an extra-small, and it is a constant battle for me to convince myself I'm not fat (not in an actual eating disorder way though, luckily). It's amazing how much power the mind has over the way we see ourselves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 If you knew she wouldn't fit into it (being 25lbs heavier than you, and it being obvious to everyone in the room) WHY would you tell her to try it on?????????????? 14 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 The games people play. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 The games people play. Hey, try my bra on. I've never worn it. It's too small, a size 34F. What? You're an A cup? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FitChick Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 (edited) The PC brigade is out in full force, I see. You could interpret what she said in another way, too, like she thought she was thinner than I was so my jacket would be too big for her, thereby insulting me. No one will ever know... She sounded quite pleased to have it because she needed more business type clothes now that she just got her real estate license. As I mentioned, it was a perfect color for her with black hair, pale skin and blue eyes. Most people can't (shouldn't) wear black. She said she would wear it open and unbuttoned to show off a couple of tops she also got at the lunch. I plan to sell some clothes on eBay using a friend's seller account. Have to find out the best way to ship items, how to pack, photograph, describe, etc. Then I can spend the money on new stuff. Stuff no one wants will go to Goodwill. I never throw anything away. At the very least I will rip it up into cleaning rags. Edited April 17, 2014 by FitChick Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 My experience as a nurse is that 75% of patients are in denial about their weight. Societal norm and 'average' are out of sync with healthy weight. Then the headaches, sore joints, lethargy, apathy, stress start to dominate their lives. A woman 5'3 should be a healthy 130 or so...not 145 or 150. But...'I'm big boned' or 'whatever'. Men are even more in denial. What's worse are parents in denial about their butterball children. Most adults today can't even run a mile without gasping for air. Recipe for a self perpetuating series of health issues post 50 years old. Thank you for this....I'm hovering between 125-130 at 5'3" and have been feeling horrible about my weight. I'm delusional about my weight in the sense that I'm constantly focused on it...I'm super self conscious about my body and think I look flabby, though everyone around tells me I look good. I think I have these body image issues because my dad has always been obsessive about weight when I was growing up. I always felt I was "too fat" at 120-125 pounds because of him. But your post makes me feel better in the assurance that I'm not chubby and overweight. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 The PC brigade is out in full force, I see. You could interpret what she said in another way, too, like she thought she was thinner than I was so my jacket would be too big for her, thereby insulting me. No one will ever know... She sounded quite pleased to have it because she needed more business type clothes now that she just got her real estate license. As I mentioned, it was a perfect color for her with black hair, pale skin and blue eyes. Most people can't (shouldn't) wear black. She said she would wear it open and unbuttoned to show off a couple of tops she also got at the lunch. I plan to sell some clothes on eBay using a friend's seller account. Have to find out the best way to ship items, how to pack, photograph, describe, etc. Then I can spend the money on new stuff. Stuff no one wants will go to Goodwill. I never throw anything away. At the very least I will rip it up into cleaning rags. Yep and the blazer was probably loose on you so it's not a stretch that it would fit someone 25lbs heavier. She could have also just been honest if she thought it wouldn't fit and say that she thinks she needs a bigger size. That's what I do when a thinner friend offers me something. Why on earth would I say "oh no, it's too big for me" It is actually a proven fact that men overestimate their height while women underestimate their weight. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Yea, because that's what any woman would want to do when they are in a gathering with other females "That thing is too small for me, I'm too fat for it" Not really sure what she could have said, other than maybe she wasn't interested in it, but almost no woman wants to admit something is too small for her due to her weight, especially around other females who aren't exactly her close friend (assuming this based on the fact that is it females from different stores when you have this gathering), it's just embarrassing to them. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Probably just didn't want it and was trying to be diplomatic by saying it was too big. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Probably just didn't want it and was trying to be diplomatic by saying it was too big. It would be more diplomatic to say "I don't want it" or "it's not really my style" than to say "it's too big for me". Any woman saying, of an item of clothing belonging to another woman "it's too big for me" is breaching the unwritten woman code. I would walk down the local high street wearing a friend's coat that was 5 sizes too big, and pretend that it was a perfect fit, before I would say "it's too big for me." Of course in those circumstances the friend would say "it's too big for you" but she's the only one allowed to say that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 One reason why I never find clothes I can fit into at these lunches. Everyone seems to be overweight. Now, now. Be honest. This was the point of you making the entire thread to begin with, wasn't it? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 My experience as a nurse is that 75% of patients are in denial about their weight. Societal norm and 'average' are out of sync with healthy weight. Then the headaches, sore joints, lethargy, apathy, stress start to dominate their lives. A woman 5'3 should be a healthy 130 or so...not 145 or 150. But...'I'm big boned' or 'whatever'. Men are even more in denial. What's worse are parents in denial about their butterball children. Most adults today can't even run a mile without gasping for air. Recipe for a self perpetuating series of health issues post 50 years old. I agree that many folks are delusional; unfortunately the delusion goes both ways. IIRC, the OP has said that anyone within the normal BMI range is 'fat' (because underweight is what everyone should ideally be), and that if you don't have a gap between your thighs when you have your knees together, you're also 'fat'. This thread isn't nearly so bad, but seems like more propagation of the same. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 It is actually a proven fact that men overestimate their height while women underestimate their weight. My driver's license and the measuring tape says I am 70", but I really tell the ladies I'm 69". Hint, hint, sexual innuendo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 My driver's license and the measuring tape says I am 70", but I really tell the ladies I'm 69". Hint, hint, sexual innuendo. I weigh 99lbs Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I think I know more skinny women who think they're fat, than fat women who think they're skinny. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I think I know more skinny women who think they're fat, than fat women who think they're skinny. In my circle of friends we are pretty open about weight and knowing who is bigger than whom. I passed on a dress to my friend that is smaller/thinner than me and she said that she will have to get it altered to make it fit her smaller size. I wasn't offended at all. What's the point? It's the truth So I don't get all this "I am big but lets pretend that I am not" nonsense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Neither do I. I think women who think they are fat fall into two categories - the ones who really do have a mental block about their weight and honestly think they're fat, and the ones who declare they are fat because they love the attention when people say "no you're not!" As for me, I used to be a svete 130 pounds in my 20s, and now I'm a bit older I'm 145 - not fat but noticeably more wobbly bits. It worried me when I noticed it for about a month, then I decided, screw them. I'm still gorgeous! Perhaps I'm delusional too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Maybe she didn't like how the blazer looked and tried to be polite about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FitChick Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 the OP has said that anyone within the normal BMI range is 'fat' (because underweight is what everyone should ideally be), and that if you don't have a gap between your thighs when you have your knees together, you're also 'fat'. You must have me confused with someone else because I've never said that. People at the lunch were pretty honest when others were trying on clothes, i.e. "No, that color isn't right on you," "That pattern makes you disappear," etc. A coworker was told by her DOCTOR that she was obese and needed to lose 50 pounds. Another coworker said, "What? He's crazy. You're not obese!" Yes, what would a doctor know about obesity? He just wanted to insult her. I avoid those conversations with people unless they specifically ask for my advice regarding weight loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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