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Why Don't I Care Anymore


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hi everyone...I'm 18 I've been overweight since i was a little kid. I got the usual you know being called like "miss piggy","turkey",and chicken leg. Back then it use to hurt i also had braces so i got double the teasing. I was called ugly brace plus all those names.

 

Well even though i went on to high school people still made fun of me but when i hit 9th grade i was like no more i was about 160-150 pounds and i'm 5'4. I wasn't really overweight that badly but i had a lil extra i could do wid out. i lost as much as 40 pounds and so i weighed 120.

 

All right,cool, people started showing me extra attention but i knew what it was. now when i got into the 11th grade i had CXC which is my end of high school exams. And it really stressed me out bcuz i wanted to do good of course and started eating and just started gaining all the weight back slowly but surely up until this point.

 

I want to do better and take care of myself but i just don't feel motivated it's just i went through so much to lose that weight and i'm afraid of it happening to me again. let me tell you a story one day i came home from school i was hungry and i tried opening a can of tuna. It wouldnt open and i started flipping out on it. my mom heard me and she came in the kitchen she saw me crying to the can of tuna asking why it wont open.

She had to laugh and now looking back i just gotta laugh two. i guess i just dont like feeling like that not being able to eat what i want.

 

I really had to discipline myself to eat right and the right proportions i was also going to the gym. i like going to the gym actually but now my body is so outta shape i just don't know where to start. i have started going back and i do an hour of cardio 30 min on treadmill 30 min on elliptical i've lost about 6 pounds so far. But the eating its like my mom stuffs the house with junk bcuz i do have siblings so you know temptation all around.

 

i just want to be able to set my mind straight(dont know how) and have that discipline again and i'm lost when it comes to work outs now i dont know if i should do the same old routine i was doing...im just feeling like okay weight is weight what you gonna do....i just dont know :(

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Hey Skitzo,

 

I think you've got the right idea, but you just need to refocus. It is truly hard to lose weight when your body just doesn't want to, and when you're surrounded by foods you want to eat, but feel that you shouldn't. Then it's a cycle of deprivation (when you don't eat them) and guilt (when you do). I've been there, done that.

 

However, when you say "I don't care anymore" I also know you're lying. (I've been there, too.) If you're anything like me, it bothers you to be overweight, tired, and sluggish.

 

This is what worked for me--finish that statement. As in, "I don't care anymore about....being stick thin." or "I don't care anymore about....torturing myself."

 

Then replace it with what you do care about: "I care about being healthy and happy." "I care about taking care of myself, whether I lose weight or not."

 

Make this about feeling good and strong and healthy. Don't push yourself to do an hour in the gym if your body isn't ready for it. Do 15 minutes. Don't keep yourself from eating what your family eats for dinner. Make a compromise--maybe, you'll eat well the rest of the day, or you'll eat smaller portions. If you overeat one night, reward (not punish) yourself with a big salad with low-cal vinaigrette dressing the next day for lunch. It's all about balancing what you're doing. Do what makes you happy and healthy.

 

I found that not exercising at all did not make me happy. Exercising too much just made me tired and cranky. Eating too much made me sluggish and sad. Eating too little made me irritable and uncomfortable.

 

So, I said ENOUGH. I'm going to do what makes me feel good at all times. And by "at all times" I mean, before, during, and AFTER I do it. For instance, 30 minutes on the treadmill makes me feel good before, during, and after. A cookie after dinner makes me feel good. A big salad makes me feel good. Rollerblading in the park makes me feel good.

 

Eating three helpings of something, I now know, does NOT make me feel good after I eat it. I may think it's going to, but afterward, I just feel bloated and sick. It took a while, but each time that happened, I repeated to myself, "Remember this feeling the next time you want to take that second or third helping. It won't make you feel good. Wait 10 minutes and make sure you really want it before you dig in for more." And after a while, those 10 minutes were enough to make me remember, to know what I would feel like after eating too much. And I'd stop--and then I'd feel good!

 

Or, if I felt too tired or unmotivated to take that 30-minute walk, I'd remind myself what I would feel like that evening if I did NOT take that walk. I remember that I feel better after the walk, even though right now I'd rather stay in bed. I take the walk. I feel good. And then I feel even better the next time I'm faced with the choice.

 

Some days I'm sick or stressed, I know I need to sleep or read a book. I know in my heart that I will feel better for having NOT exercised, because I'm overworked as it is. I take a nap or read. I do some yoga. I feel good afterward.

 

It's a dififcult balance, but once you achieve it, it takes away all the guilt and replaces it with pride. Have the ice cream AND the salad, AND the dinner with your family AND the exercise that you enjoy for the time that you enjoy it. If you lose weight, great. If you don't, who cares? You'll be healthier and happier and much less stressed.

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IfWishesWereHorses

Make your mom a list of healthy foods that you love. I know we get into a comfort food mode, but there are the most fabulous and delicious healthy foods around. Also ask her if she doesn't mind rethinking some of her recipes and using healthier ingredients or have an alternative available for you when a family meal might be too high in carbs, fats, cals.

 

Great for you for doing your cardio. Did you know that in just three weeks you can see toning from doing even light strength training 3 times a week for a few minutes? Pick something, say your arms and use light weight dumbbells just 15 minutes/day 3 times a week and the results will really surprise you! That should be enough encouragement to get you started on other areas. Increasing muscle will also help you to burn fat at a higher rate!

 

I know you are down about this, but once you get back into the mode, the changes that you make are encouraging and wonderful for your self esteem.

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What gets me motivated is other people. Take a class or something. There are generally one or two people that have amazing bodies and it makes you feel insecure, but at the same time it motivates you to do better.

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