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Potential Cocaine Usage, Boyfriend


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Old 19th January 2017, 8:52 AM   #1
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Exclamation Potential Cocaine Usage, Boyfriend

Hey guys,

So, I am 23 and have a boyfriend of 28 who was previously addicted to cocaine. He told me about his "prior usage" before we started dating, but made it seem like a thing of the past. Now, while we've been dating (almost a year) I know he has done it at least twice, and I think (80% sure), that he did it again last night.

Let me tell you why, and maybe someone can give me some insight. So, he always acts different when he's drunk, I don't like it, but I have come to accept it. However, last night he went out for a few hours (5 or 6) with a friend of his that I generally trust, but later, stayed to hang out with a friend of his who sells drugs (that I personally have never liked). (red flag 1).

Later, he comes home, and he is feeling rather "frisky" and we will leave it at that. So we made out, and my lips and tongue went NUMB. I have never in my life experienced that except when getting teeth pulled at the dentist. (red flag 2).

So, this morning I woke up, and I googled numb lips and tongue associated with drugs (not specifically cocaine drugs in general, as to prevent bias, and I know, I know, the internet doesn't know everything), and I saw another girl saying that her boyfriend had done cocaine, and she had a similar experience of the tongue going numb. On top of that every result that came up was related to cocaine, or dentist treatments. I don't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill, so I am asking whether or not these details seem like, he could have done cocaine?

I should also mention that he is typically closed off about sexual things with me, and last night was most certainly not the case... an extreme change in normal character.

Any advice??
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Old 19th January 2017, 10:42 AM   #2
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Yes Coke can make your lips and tongue numb.

Did he fall asleep easily? Does he have a headache this morning? Was he clenching his jaw? Was he able to cum easily or did it take a long time? Did he seem agitated or have anxiety?
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Old 19th January 2017, 10:59 AM   #3
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Well, we didn't go to sleep for quite a few hours after, so I can't really say about the sleeping thing. He woke up and went to work before I got out of bed so I don't know about the headache either. It took longer than usual for him to cum, but he was also really horny last night. (not that it's weird for somemone to want to have sex, but normally on work days he's too tired). he didn't seem agitated or anxious, but he was very, "enthusiastic" I suppose is a good word.
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Old 19th January 2017, 11:03 AM   #4
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Your experiance is very consistent with kissing somebody who has been doing cocaine.
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Old 19th January 2017, 11:10 AM   #5
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I was leaning towards it being the case. He makes awful decisions when he's drinking. The problem now is I don't know how to address it with out making him extremely defensive. This talk isn't going to go smoothly. Before when he had a problem, his mom is the one who snapped it out of him. The problem is I don't want to bring her into it right now, because if, IF I am wrong, then I will causing a huge headache for everyone.
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Old 19th January 2017, 11:14 AM   #6
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Well, we didn't go to sleep for quite a few hours after, so I can't really say about the sleeping thing. He woke up and went to work before I got out of bed so I don't know about the headache either. It took longer than usual for him to cum, but he was also really horny last night. (not that it's weird for somemone to want to have sex, but normally on work days he's too tired). he didn't seem agitated or anxious, but he was very, "enthusiastic" I suppose is a good word.
yeah so he was up and had no problem getting up in the morning - usually coke.

Best approach is from the worried standpoint. I would just say - as nicely as possible. When we were making out my lips and tongue went numb. Is there anything you want to tell me about last night? And maybe say, you are just concerned and if he is using you won't be mad, but you should have the right to know, If he goes crazy for you asking, you have your answer.
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Old 19th January 2017, 11:44 AM   #7
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yeah so he was up and had no problem getting up in the morning - usually coke.

Best approach is from the worried standpoint. I would just say - as nicely as possible. When we were making out my lips and tongue went numb. Is there anything you want to tell me about last night? And maybe say, you are just concerned and if he is using you won't be mad, but you should have the right to know, If he goes crazy for you asking, you have your answer.
No chance that if he freaks out for me asking, it's because I am wrong? I really want to be wrong, but I feel really strongly that I am not. It's an awful place to be in. I will try the concerned standpoint...Thank you!
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Old 19th January 2017, 11:48 AM   #8
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No, because he shouldn't freak out if he has a history of use. You have a reason to be concerned.

Also, from personal experience. Please do this in a safe place. Someone on and off drugs can have loss of control of their temper and rage.
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Old 19th January 2017, 11:52 AM   #9
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No, because he shouldn't freak out if he has a history of use. You have a reason to be concerned.

Also, from personal experience. Please do this in a safe place. Someone on and off drugs can have loss of control of their temper and rage.
I am assuming at home by ourselves is not the safe place you are referring to? haha
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Old 19th January 2017, 2:28 PM   #10
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I am assuming at home by ourselves is not the safe place you are referring to? haha
Just tell someone you trust, who you can call after. Let them know if they don't hear from you after a certain time to come by. I know that sounds extreme but it is better to be safe.
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Old 19th January 2017, 2:55 PM   #11
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Just tell someone you trust, who you can call after. Let them know if they don't hear from you after a certain time to come by. I know that sounds extreme but it is better to be safe.
I am at a slight disadvantage here, because I am in Spain, and where we are, I don't particularly have anyone close by. He's been sleeping since he got home today. I haven't had time to mention anything yet, but I am rather nervous.
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Old 22nd January 2017, 11:49 PM   #12
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Ummm... . Definitely try to get him help. Counseling helps.

Last edited by LoveFiend; 22nd January 2017 at 11:55 PM..
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Old 23rd January 2017, 2:03 AM   #13
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I was leaning towards it being the case. He makes awful decisions when he's drinking. The problem now is I don't know how to address it with out making him extremely defensive. This talk isn't going to go smoothly. Before when he had a problem, his mom is the one who snapped it out of him. The problem is I don't want to bring her into it right now, because if, IF I am wrong, then I will causing a huge headache for everyone.
Really, how many people have you kissed and got a numb mouth? You are in denial.
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