LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Addiction & Recovery

Is my boyfriend an alcoholic?


Addiction & Recovery Recognizing, conquering, and coping with addictions, substance abuse & dependence.

Like Tree7Likes
  • 1 Post By sk1977
  • 1 Post By Aesc
  • 1 Post By Poppyolive
  • 2 Post By Popsicle
  • 1 Post By alphamale
  • 1 Post By mikeylo
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 6th January 2017, 6:05 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 11
Exclamation Is my boyfriend an alcoholic?

Hi All,
I'm worried that my boyfriend might be an alcoholic. Could someone please shed some light on this situation and what I should do.

I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months now. We are in a long-distance relationship and see each other every other weekend. So, the behavior I will be describing is only happening on the weekends. I can't say if the same happens on the weekdays/nights as well.

Anyways, I knew from day one that he liked wine. He would drink throughout the night, would take a glass to bed, and even would sip on the leftover wine as soon as he would wake up the next morning. I thought it was strange, but never really had an idea how much he is really drinking until last weekend. I took him to the airport at the end of the long 4 day weekend, came home and it hit me that he drank 6 bottles of wine and about half a bottle of scotch in 4 days all by himself.

He seem to never get drunk despite drinking so much. He has a full-time job and works about 60 hours a week. He is a great guy and treats me really well. And I do love him. But I'm really worried about his health and potential problems down the road, as we are talking about a long term relationship.

Also, I worry that him being under the influence pretty much the whole time to some degree while we are together, I don't really get to see his "real, sober" personality.

I want to talk to him, but not sure how to bring it up without hurting his feelings. Also, should i talk to him on the phone, or wait till he is in town next time? He's been saying that the last few days i seem distant and asked me if everything was ok, and I'm hesitant to bring up the subject,

Do you guys agree that he is drinking way too much? Do you think he is an alcoholic?

Thank you so much in advance.
Satu likes this.
sk1977 is offline  
Old 6th January 2017, 8:29 PM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Sacramento, California
Posts: 69
Yes. . . . . . . . .
Satu likes this.
Aesc is offline  
Old 6th January 2017, 10:28 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 670
It's looking that way.

I'm glad you're seeing it now. When you do speak with him, he's probably going to deny it or take it down a few notches, like, yah I don't usually drink that much, it was just because if xyz. Educate yourself on relationships with problem drinkers. It's exhausting. You will be the one that gets burnt.

Take care.
Satu likes this.
Poppyolive is offline  
Old 7th January 2017, 12:32 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Popsicle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 7,915
Yes. It took me a while to figure out that my ex-bf was an alcoholic too. He did not disclose that to me when we met, nor did he put it in his online dating profile (where we met. there is a question about that). At first I thought we were just having a good time together, we would see each other on weekends and have fun, often having a drink together. Then I realized that he was drinking in the mornings and all day long.... it was more than just having a good time. He needed it and it was an addiction. He ended up going to rehab TWICE during our short 6 month relationship. In hindsight, the drinking and the residual effects of it and the drama is the main thing that ruined our relationship and caused it to end. Very sad.

So, yes, it is possible that they don't admit it to you, because they don't think it's a problem to admit to in the first place.
EmilyJane and Satu like this.
Popsicle is offline  
Old 7th January 2017, 1:25 PM   #5
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 32,495
Quote:
Originally Posted by sk1977 View Post
Do you think he is an alcoholic?
being an ex-alcoholic myself i can tell you that he's an alcoholic...
Satu likes this.
__________________
Indeed
alphamale is online now  
Old 7th January 2017, 1:38 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,322
Yes he is an alcoholic.

You can't change him till he recognizes it as a problem.

Take care.
Satu likes this.
mikeylo is offline  
Old 7th January 2017, 1:43 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Satu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: LV-426
Posts: 9,466
Journal Entries: 124
Yes, he is an alcoholic.

Here is some information you might find useful:


5 Types of Alcoholics Identified


Take care.
__________________


"We fly to get high."
Satu is offline  
Old 10th January 2017, 7:02 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,073
He's an alcoholic.

He's never 'drunk' because the constant drinking made his tolerance insanely high. That's usually what happens.

Let him go unless you want a rocky life where you'll never be a priority (his first love is his alcohol... and will always be).

Quote:
Originally Posted by sk1977 View Post
Hi All,
I'm worried that my boyfriend might be an alcoholic. Could someone please shed some light on this situation and what I should do.

I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months now. We are in a long-distance relationship and see each other every other weekend. So, the behavior I will be describing is only happening on the weekends. I can't say if the same happens on the weekdays/nights as well.

Anyways, I knew from day one that he liked wine. He would drink throughout the night, would take a glass to bed, and even would sip on the leftover wine as soon as he would wake up the next morning. I thought it was strange, but never really had an idea how much he is really drinking until last weekend. I took him to the airport at the end of the long 4 day weekend, came home and it hit me that he drank 6 bottles of wine and about half a bottle of scotch in 4 days all by himself.

He seem to never get drunk despite drinking so much. He has a full-time job and works about 60 hours a week. He is a great guy and treats me really well. And I do love him. But I'm really worried about his health and potential problems down the road, as we are talking about a long term relationship.

Also, I worry that him being under the influence pretty much the whole time to some degree while we are together, I don't really get to see his "real, sober" personality.

I want to talk to him, but not sure how to bring it up without hurting his feelings. Also, should i talk to him on the phone, or wait till he is in town next time? He's been saying that the last few days i seem distant and asked me if everything was ok, and I'm hesitant to bring up the subject,

Do you guys agree that he is drinking way too much? Do you think he is an alcoholic?

Thank you so much in advance.
No_Go is offline  
Old 28th January 2017, 10:25 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 3,233
Anyone who would drink leftover wine first thing in the morning has got a serious drinking problem..blech!

There is nothing you are going to be able to do about it either. He isn't going to admit it to you and he isn't going to change it for you either. Your best bet is to throw this one back in the water and look elsewhere for a possible partner.
anika99 is offline  
Old 28th January 2017, 10:37 PM   #10
LoveShack.org Moderator
LoveShack.org Moderator
 
Robert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 1,077
It seems the thread starter hasn't come back to respond to replies, thread closed till they come back. if they would like to have the thread reopened then alert on my post and we will do so.

Thanks all who participated.
Robert is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My boyfriend is an alcoholic Ashley S Dating 23 29th November 2015 1:53 PM
Alcoholic boyfriend Schroedm Addiction & Recovery 6 3rd January 2014 9:00 AM
Is my boyfriend an alcoholic? nyny123 Addiction & Recovery 11 17th November 2013 4:32 AM
Boyfriend says I'm an alcoholic... SumthinAwful Addiction & Recovery 6 17th March 2013 3:01 AM
Alcoholic ex-boyfriend. Why do I care so much!? Unrequitedlove Breaks and Breaking Up 4 26th August 2011 3:16 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:40 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.