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Buy a pack but dont smoke it?


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Just looking for opinions on a situation. My wife has not done any drugs over the last 9 years. She did a lot of drugs in her youth and quit, but cigarettes she never quit until she got pregnant 9 years ago. Now I found a pack she had hidden and when I confronted her she said she was never going to smoke it, its just her "process" she says. She got pretty angry but I should note she has been under lots of stress the past couple weeks due to me having told her I cheated on her. She showed me a receipt from a week ago when she got it but still. I guess I want to know if anyone who was addicted to cigarettes has done something like this after so long being sober without eventually smoking?

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Just looking for opinions on a situation. My wife has not done any drugs over the last 9 years. She did a lot of drugs in her youth and quit, but cigarettes she never quit until she got pregnant 9 years ago. Now I found a pack she had hidden and when I confronted her she said she was never going to smoke it, its just her "process" she says. She got pretty angry but I should note she has been under lots of stress the past couple weeks due to me having told her I cheated on her. She showed me a receipt from a week ago when she got it but still. I guess I want to know if anyone who was addicted to cigarettes has done something like this after so long being sober without eventually smoking?

 

Mr. "1oyalty", huh? LOL.

 

But seriously, some people do feel better knowing they have their substance of choice, even if they don't use it. It's psychological I guess.

 

Sounds strange, but yes I have heard of people doing this.

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Mr. "1oyalty", huh? LOL.

 

But seriously, some people do feel better knowing they have their substance of choice, even if they don't use it. It's psychological I guess.

 

Sounds strange, but yes I have heard of people doing this.

 

Haha I know man. Thanks for the reply. Yeah I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being naive to believe her because when she said its her process my thoughts were yeah the "process " of a relapse.

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Its her choice how she handles her health .

Caffeine is a drug ....Be it in tea, coffee or chocolate...Does she have that around the house too?

 

Take her at face value and let it be for now....

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Its her choice how she handles her health .

Caffeine is a drug ....Be it in tea, coffee or chocolate...Does she have that around the house too?

 

Take her at face value and let it be for now....

 

Lol, I have tried to tell her that about myself. It didn't work, I see what you mean though.

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My experience quitting smoking - and I have a lot of it - is that if I buy a pack I'm going to smoke it. I hope your wife is different.

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My experience quitting smoking - and I have a lot of it - is that if I buy a pack I'm going to smoke it. I hope your wife is different.

 

Yeah I'm not exactly convinced she won't but hoping since she has not smoked it in over a week maybe she really won't.

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Yeah I'm not exactly convinced she won't but hoping since she has not smoked it in over a week maybe she really won't.

 

Just having that pack around is tempting fate.

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drifter, I can see that being a fair assessment for someone who keeps faltering in the quit mode. I've been 20 some years sober and have sat at dinners where wine and hard liquor poured. also have had liquor stored in the home for guests. til this day .. the temptation is simply not there. I have to believe ppl

are capable of self restraint..in the face of what is placed in their lives...

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Found it unopened while throwing out the trash! Talk about throwing away money lol, but I'm glad. Hope that means she is over the temptation. I have to come up with some new creative way to let her know how amazing she is in so many ways.

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Hope that means she is over the temptation. I have to come up with some new creative way to let her know how amazing she is in so many ways.

 

Try not cheating on her again.

 

Hope you're over the "temptation" too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think its believable, some people do form a type of bond or connection with whatever drug/substance they are into. For some people that are addicted its a part of the process. I haven't drank in over a year and half and I still have a beer can (unopened of course) left over. Ive thought to myself I should really throw it away but haven't been able to yet.

 

But of course you may have busted her with it, its all circumstantial.

In your case, was the box full? or had cigs missing? Smoking is not so easy to hide I mean the smell would be on her person, her clothes, her car, etc. Ive also known a person that was having a hard time trying to quit smoking and she would tell me she couldn't help but buy them after smoking for so long. She would actually light the cigarette then try to stop herself at the last minute and end up throwin cig away.

 

 

I would suggest don't hound her and let her go thru the process...let her keep the box around, maybe she wants to keep it as a memory, or a trophy, to remind herself how strong she is, how she beat it, to KNOW she is strong enough to have the box around and not smoke out of it. Remember its something she is beating, conquering etc. THink of playing baseball and keeping the ball you caught that won the game. (weird example). Be supportive

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When i quit smoking i had half of pack laying around somewhere in the kitchen, after 9 months (yeah i know it's not that long being smoke-free but..) so, after 9 months of no smoking, i went through some bad days and i was alone in the house (like usual) and was pissed off of something, and i wanted to smoke badly, i just got one cigarette of that pack and smoked half of it before through it away. if there were no smoke i would have gone crazy probably, so yeah glad that pack was there (and still btw untouched)

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I did this when I quit smoking. It was reassuring having them around. Unfortunately I started smoking again, but it had nothing to do with that pack. It was a conscious choice I made one afternoon when I felt totally overwhelmed.

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